Moms need help after birth—but for 1 in 6, no one outside their partner showed up

It’s one of the most sobering stats of new motherhood: 17% of moms with a child under three received no support outside of their spouse or partner, according to a new national survey by Philips Avent and March of Dimes conducted by The Harris Poll. That’s 1 in 6 mothers navigating sleepless nights, healing bodies, and mental health challenges—completely alone.

And the moms who did get help? Forty-two percent say it wasn’t enough.

For me, I was lucky to have family help when our first kids were born. But after our second? (We have five kids.) A lot fewer offers of help. Perhaps people didn’t want to impose, or they thought, “she’s got this,” but when I was drowning, it didn’t feel like anyone wanted to step up and offer to care for me in the way I needed. I felt alone. And in this experience—I am not alone.

The data highlights a deep disconnect between intentions and action. An overwhelming 90% of Americans say they’re willing to help a new parent—but more than 6 in 10 moms, including 76% of Hispanic moms, say they struggle to ask for it. Especially when the need is emotional.

“The transition to parenthood is one of the most important and most challenging times in a person’s life, yet many new moms face it without the support they need,” said Kelly Ernst, Chief Impact Officer at March of Dimes. “Together with Philips Avent, we’re calling on communities to turn their willingness to help into meaningful action.”

Related: The messy, hilarious truth about new motherhood—told in painfully funny comics

Why we’re still not asking for help

The study paints a picture that many moms already know intimately: the early weeks postpartum are raw, exhausting, and often invisible to the broader community. Nearly two-thirds of parents say the first three months are when they need help the most. Yet our culture often glamorizes maternal martyrdom, reinforcing the message that needing help is a weakness.

This is especially true for moms of color. Hispanic moms are the most likely group to report difficulty asking for help—three in four say it’s hard to voice their support needs. This is where both cultural expectations and systemic inequalities collide.

The result? A crushing solo act for too many mothers in a society that still pretends the nuclear family is enough.

Mental health and me-time are the most unmet needs

The top requests from moms were basic human needs:

• Emotional and mental health support: coping with postpartum depression, isolation, decision fatigue.
• Self-care and recovery: breaks, rest, light exercise, and therapy.

Even though 93% of moms say self-care is essential, 80% get less than an hour of personal time per day.

And unless their village is clued in on what postpartum really looks like, they may never offer help in the first place. The research found that only 31% of the general public is very familiar with postpartum health issues. But when people are informed, they’re 2.5x more likely to step up.

So who is showing up?

The data also busts some myths about gender roles: Fathers of children under 18 are just as likely as moms to have supported another parent recently (72% vs. 75%), and dads are more likely to contribute financially. Among friends and extended family, support tends to flow more to immediate relatives than close friends—which may explain why many new moms feel socially abandoned just when they need the most care.

The Share the Care campaign from Philips and March of Dimes is trying to change that. Their goal? To arm the public with tools and reminders that supporting a new parent doesn’t have to be complicated. Think: dropping off a meal, sending a “you’re doing amazing” text, or taking the baby for 20 minutes so mom can shower in peace.

In short: don’t wait to be asked. Just show up.

Related: Why do women wake up feeling worse than men? The science (and inequity) of sleep and motherhood

A motherhood crisis hidden in plain sight

This report echoes what many experts and parents have been saying for years: the structure of modern American parenting is deeply out of sync with reality. Moms are expected to work like they don’t have children and raise children like they don’t work—while simultaneously pretending they don’t need help.

If every mom feels alone, then we are all in this together. Ask for help. Step up for another mom. Be the village you needed. Because moms are the ultimate agents of change.

Want to be part of the solution? Explore the Share the Care campaign from Philips and March of Dimes here.

Sources:

• Share the Care: How Americans Can Better Support New Parents. 2024. March of Dimes. Share the Care: How Americans Can Better Support New Parents.
• New Philips Avent Survey Reveals Stark Gap Between Support for New Moms and Intentions to Help. 2024. Philips. New Philips Avent Survey Reveals Stark Gap Between Support for New Moms and Intentions to Help.