This week Jessica Simpson made headlines when she announced that she’d lost 100 pounds since the birth of her daughter Birdie six months ago. “6 months. 100 pounds down (Yes, I tipped the scales at 240 ).” she captioned a self-portrait in which she rocks a black dress and sunglasses.

We love that Jessica is being so honest about her journey, because pregnancy can result in surprising weight gain for some moms, and the number on the scale can become legitimately shocking. It’s nice to know that other people (even celebs) go through the same thing, and we’re pumped for Jessica that she is feeling so good right now.

Jessica’s weight loss was a huge story this week, but maybe we shouldn’t be talking about how she got her body back (we are so over that old narrative) and more about how she got her confidence and sense of self back. Postpartum recovery is about so much more than weight loss. “[S]o proud to feel like myself again. Even when it felt impossible, I chose to work harder,” Jessica wrote in her caption.

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But here’s something every mama reading this needs to know: If you haven’t lost the weight you gained in pregnancy you are not a failure. Just because Jessica Simpson “chose to work harder” and dropped 100 pounds doesn’t mean you are not working hard, too (even if you’ve still got your extra 100).

Let’s be super real for a minute: For the last six months losing this weight has basically been Jessica’s job and she has a lot more help than the average mom. You cannot compare your experience to hers. Jessica’s personal trainer Harley Pasternak told E! that he worked with Jessica’s doctor to create a custom plan for Jessica. It involved a lot of walking, about 14,000 steps a day, and a sensible diet that included parmesan green beans and almonds.

Pasternak also required Jessica to get a full seven hours a sleep per night, something that is downright impossible for many moms, but is achievable for those with the means to hire nighttime childcare. “So many people undervalue the importance of sleep in weightless and weight management,” Pasternak explains.

Unfortunately, the average parent is sleep deprived for the first six years of parenthood, Seriously, new parents lose 44 days of sleep during the first year of a baby’s life. So while seven hours of sleep may be in Pasternak’s postpartum plan, it’s not the postpartum reality for most of us.

Jessica looks confident and we’re so happy for her, but we are not comparing our experiences to hers and hope you don’t either, mama.

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