What if paying grandparents for child care could solve America’s childcare crisis?
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The childcare solution America keeps overlooking might already be living down the street.
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It’s 7:45 a.m., the daycare waitlist is still six months long, and your meeting starts in fifteen minutes. Enter Grandma—with her minivan, her unmatched snack game, and the kind of reliability no childcare app can promise.
Across America, grandparents are quietly powering the workday for millions of parents, covering school pickups, sick days, and endless stretches of “just a few hours, please.” Yet their care—the invisible scaffolding that keeps families standing—rarely gets counted, let alone compensated.
But a recent story in The Atlantic spotlighted Singapore’s model of paying grandparents who care for their grandchildren, reigniting a conversation that hits close to home for millions of U.S. families. Because here, grandparents are already the backbone of an invisible childcare system, one that runs not on payrolls, but on love, obligation, and the cost of childcare that just won’t quit.
Related: New Mexico becomes first state with free universal child care—what families can expect on Nov. 1
The unpaid workforce we don’t talk about
According to a national study, 39% of grandparents provide some childcare to their grandchildren, often saving families thousands of dollars each year. But unlike daycare providers or nannies, their work goes unrecognized and uncompensated.
And yet, the language we use—helping out, babysitting, watching the kids—keeps this labor small. It erases the emotional load, the planning, and sometimes even the physical strain that caregiving demands.
Related: Mom refuses grandparents’ help after they take baby without permission—Reddit reacts
The love economy
Ask any grandparent and they’ll likely tell you they don’t need payment because they just love being part of their grandchild’s life. But love doesn’t pay for gas, groceries, or physical therapy for the bad back that comes from lifting toddlers all day.
Parents, too, walk a tightrope between gratitude and guilt. For many, the cost of taking advantage of the help grandparents offer can come with a dose of guilt for the time and energy taken up.
That’s the quiet emotional math happening in kitchens across America as families stretch themselves to cover what society won’t.
Related: Child care costs over 50% of income in some states—and moms are done staying quiet
What if we actually valued family care?
Singapore’s program pays grandparents up to $500 a month for helping with childcare, recognizing their role as essential. And they’re not the only ones. As of July 2024, the Swedish government allows parents to transfer up to 45 days of payments from their paid leave benefits to non-legal guardians, like grandparents, friends, or even retirees to help provide childcare support. And, of course, countries like New Zealand provide primary care parents with up to 26 weeks of paid parental leave as they manage the demands of new parenthood. Imagine if the U.S. followed suit—not necessarily with the same structure, but with the same respect.
Related: I’m a pediatric nurse and this is the child care checklist I gave my in-laws
More importantly, reframing caregiving as work—not “help”—could shift how we talk about responsibility, gratitude, and gender.
Because when grandparents step in, they’re doing more than patching holes in a broken system. They become the system parents rely on to meet deadlines, prevent burnout, and tackle all the things.
Reclaiming the village
For families trying to make it all work, it’s time to stop seeing multigenerational caregiving as a backup plan and start seeing it as a model. So here’s to the grandparents who do preschool drop-offs, sit through soccer practice, and reheat chicken nuggets like seasoned pros. You’re not just helping out—you’re building the village.
And maybe it’s time we finally said thank you with more than words.
Related: Four grandparents, one roof—why this mom is all in on multi-generational living
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