8 ways dads-to-be can truly show up during the third trimester

Dads-to-be may need to be reminded that their presence matters more than anything else–even perfect planning. These simple, concrete moves help you feel supported by your partner, and will support your baby and your in the home stretch. As the mom-to-be, you may want to give your partner dad-to-be some reading material.

Most dads-to-be want some information.

The third trimester can feel like a sprint and a slow march at the same time. Schedules fill with appointments, gear decisions and a thousand tiny what-ifs. The most helpful thing a dad-to-be can offer is to “show up” with steady, practical support that lowers stress for you and keeps everyone safe as mentioned by the CDC.

Obstetric groups emphasize learning to recognize urgent maternal warning signs and how to respond, an area where partners can excel. When you take the lead on logistics, ask thoughtful questions and prepare for recovery, you create a calmer runway for the birth day and the weeks after. Here are eight low-drama, high-impact ways for dads to truly show up, starting tonight.

Here are some dads-to-be pointers.

1. Be the appointment wingman

Join third-trimester visits when you can, review questions together and keep notes. Know the urgent warning signs like severe headache, vision changes, chest pain, trouble breathing, sudden swelling of the face or hands and decreased fetal movement. If any show up, help your partner call the clinic or go in right away. Script to keep in your phone for mom or dads-to-be: “We are 34 weeks, having [symptom] and we are on our way unless you advise otherwise.” Your calm follow-through matters.

2. Put vaccines and paperwork on the calendar

Add a reminder for your partner’s Tdap vaccine between 27 and 36 weeks to help protect your newborn from whooping cough. Block time to ensure mom-to-be completed the hospital preregistration, additionally, ask to add baby’s pediatrician’s number to favorites and confirm who will be listed as an emergency contact. For mom and dad-to-be: If others will be around the baby, encourage them to update their vaccinations as recommended by their healthcare provider. Calendar it, then celebrate the checkmarks.

3. Practice your labor support skills

Hands-on support is powerful. Practice counterpressure for back labor, time contractions, offer sips of water and create a focused environment. Continuous support during labor is linked with more spontaneous vaginal births, shorter labors and fewer interventions. Put three phrases in your pocket: “Do you want quiet or coaching?”, “Do you want to change positions?” and “I will ask the nurse what options we have.” Rehearse now so it feels natural later. Please read from the Cochrane Report.

4. Co-create a flexible birth plan

Discuss mom-to-be preferences, then create a one-page plan that outlines what matters most, such as immediate skin-to-skin contact if everyone is stable and delayed cord clamping. Ask how your hospital handles these situations and what adjustments would be made if circumstances change. Maintain a collaborative tone, rather than a rigid one, so your team can work with you in real-time. Script for the big day: “Our priority is skin-to-skin and a calm first hour if safe for both. Can we plan for that?”

5. Own the logistics so your partner can rest

Dads-to-be–please install the car seat and have a certified technician inspect your work. Help pack the hospital bag, if asked, map the route and parking, and arrange for pet or sibling care. Put chargers, snacks and a soft swaddle in the go bag. Confirm insurance cards and IDs are in your wallet. A little preparation now prevents last-minute scrambling and gives your partner permission to truly put their feet up.

6. Use the BRAIN check when decisions pop up

Hospitals are full of choices. Help slow things down with the BRAIN tool: What are the Benefits, Risks and Alternatives, what does your Instinct say, and what happens if we do Nothing for a bit? Say it out loud with respect for your mom-to-be clinicians’ expertise. Your role is not to argue; it is to ensure that your partner’s voice is heard and that you both understand the options clearly. For clinical context on common choices, such as delayed cord clamping and skin-to-skin, see the references.

7. Set up the fourth trimester before baby arrives

Do a quick home reset for mom-to-be: assemble a bassinet that meets safe sleep guidance, stock a bedside cart with water, snacks and pain meds as prescribed, and save contacts for lactation, pediatric advice and your partner’s OB. Schedule a reminder to help your partner make contact with their OB within 3 weeks after birth, then a comprehensive visit by 12 weeks. These details protect recovery and make the first weeks gentler for everyone.

8. Protect mental health for both of you; even the dads-to-be

New parents of every gender can experience mood changes. Paternal perinatal depression affects a meaningful minority of dads, and it impacts the whole family. Agree on simple check-ins, know who you would call if either of you feels persistently down or overwhelmed and normalize getting help. Keep this note on your fridge: “If one of us is not okay for two weeks, we will tell our doctor.” Awareness and early support are strengths, not weaknesses.

Having the dads-to-be show up is practical and a great emotional help. Mom-to-be, you may have to ask for this support, because the dads-to-be, often, can’t read your mind. None of this requires perfection, just intention and a few repeatable habits. Take one step today, such as ask dad-to-be for what you want help with the most. Then you might take other issues in hand, like scheduling your Tdap, or getting a car seat, or car seat check on the calendar.

If the dad is in the picture, he can help you by showing up and letting you hear the clear and simple message that your are in this together, and that he is paying attention.