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There's no denying that working moms are masters at multitasking. But, between changing diapers, setting up playdates and juggling conference calls, today's career women are struggling to live up to unrealistic work-life balance expectations. Not only are they carpooling, cooking dinner and creating Pinterest-worthy birthday parties. They're also spending countless hours at the office climbing their way up the corporate ladder.

“Expectations are implied through social media like Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest, as well as TV shows, movies, commercials and billboards," said Lorena Arguello, a marriage and family therapist in Claremont, California. “Sadly, we instantly compare ourselves to each other's ability to have it all. Yet we only see what the mom is choosing to post, not the everyday ups and downs."

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We recently chatted with working moms from all walks of life—authors, executives and accountants—about their favorite tips for striking that elusive work-life balance. Here were their key points...

Empower

“I used to feel so guilty because I wasn't available to help out at a pizza party or to pick my kids up. They ride the bus. But someone told me, 'Listen, we need each other. Some moms get the field trip to the UN organized because they've worked there for 20 years. Other moms create magical entryways for the gala because they have more time to create from home. Love thy fellow mother is truly my number one rule." – Kristen Dollard, 41, Brand Director at Yoga Journal, mom to Avery, 10, and Luke, 5

Stay Positive

“I de-friend those friends who drain me with their negative energy. Brutally honest, I know. But you only have so many hours and minutes in each day. Who you choose to surround yourself with really matters. Choose positive!" – Robyn O'Brien, 45, The New York Times bestselling author of The Unhealthy Truth, mom to Lexi, 17, Colin, 16, John, 14, and Tory, 12

Disconnect

“I set the boundary to focus separately on family and work. My inbox is never empty, but I make sure my computer and iPad are away so I'm not tempted to look at them. Once Will goes to sleep, I hop back on email to handle anything that came in since I left or to get a jump on things for the next day, but I cap that at 90 minutes tops. It's hard to disconnect from work, but it keeps me sane." – Jillian Roscoe, 38, Senior Vice President Talent at ID Public Relations, mom to Will, 9 months

Get House Help

“Don't drown yourself in chores. You must enlist help from your husband, babysitters and even kids to keep up with the housework. You are balancing a lot, but chores are something everyone can do!" – Colleen Keilers, 36, Digital Marketing Manager for The Mom Project, mom to Gerald, 4, Noah, 3, and Maddock, 11 months

Order Online

“Delivery apps! Google Express and Amazon Prime Now are my main two. It's key, especially if I'm out of town. I'll cook before I leave, but I like to keep the fridge packed. My oldest is so picky I can always rely on getting some rotisserie chicken and chicken tenders delivered, especially if I'm gone for more than two days." – Mimi Dakar Berry, 40, Vice President and Creative Director for Sonya Dakar Skincare, mom to Jacob, 5, and Eli, 3

Make Choices

“As a working mom of two young boys, I sometimes feel like there is a birthday party every weekend. I have two systems in place to help this stay fun. First, I buy presents in bulk. Secondly, I alternate birthday parties with my husband. If he has work to do, I will take the kids to the party and vice versa." – Desi Bartlett, 45, Celebrity Trainer and Founder of Mothers Into Living Fit, mom to Cruz, 8, and Rocket, 3

Plan Ahead

“I try to work late at night to make up for future lost time. My schedule is not your typical 9-to-5 so I can work around that and plan accordingly. I do have a planner I live by that has everything from what is pending at work to my grocery shopping list. That helps me stay sane!" – Melina Harvey-Read, 33, Senior Accountant for The Mom Project, mom to Lucas, 6, and Louis, 4

Schedule Play Dates

“My favorite way to balance it all is to have lunch outside with the kids during the week. It refreshes me because it's a break from work where I can see my sons. We talk about what they did that morning or what park we will go to before dinner. They go back to a sitter after lunch, but I let her have a little breather while I hang with them." – Nicolette Martin, 34, HR Coordinator, mom to Christopher, 4, and Vincent, 1

The experts agree: Arguello suggested taking a time-out to find your own happy place.

“Balance is something we're always striving towards and it can truly feel elusive," she said. “Factors may include self-care, children, spouse, friends and work. It is definitely our tendency to put self-care last, but caring for ourselves is what makes us a better mother, wife, friend and employee."

Article by Dana Zepeda of The Mom Project.

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There are few kids television shows as successful as PAW Patrol. The Spin Masters series has spawned countless toys and clothing deals, a live show and now, a movie.

That's right mama, PAW Patrol is coming to the big screen in 2021.

The big-screen version of PAW Patrol will be made with Nickelodeon Movies and will be distributed by Paramount Pictures.

"We are thrilled to partner with Paramount and Nickelodeon to bring the PAW Patrol franchise, and the characters that children love, to the big screen," Spin Master Entertainment's Executive Vice President, Jennifer Dodge, announced Friday.

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"This first foray into the arena of feature film marks a significant strategic expansion for Spin Master Entertainment and our properties. This demonstrates our commitment to harnessing our own internal entertainment production teams to develop and deliver IP in a motion picture format and allows us to connect our characters to fans through shared theatrical experiences," Dodge says.

No word on the plot yet, but we're gonna bet there's a problem, 'round Aventure Bay, and Ryder and his team of pups will come and save the day.

We cannot even imagine how excited little PAW Patrol fans will be when this hits theatres in 2021. It's still too early to buy advance tickets but we would if we could!

News

In the middle of that postpartum daze, the sleepless nights, the recovery, the adjustment to a new schedule and learning the cues of a new baby, there are those moments when a new mom might think, I don't know how long I can do this.

Fortunately, right around that time, newborns smile their first real smile.

For many mothers, the experience is heart-melting and soul-lifting. It's a crumb of sustenance to help make it through the next challenges, whether that's sleep training, baby's first cold, or teething. Each time that baby smiles, the mother remembers, I can do this, and it's worth it.

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Dayna M. Kurtz, LMSW, CPT a NYC-based psychotherapist and author of Mother Matters: A Holistic Guide to Being a Happy, Healthy Mom, says she sees this in her clinical practice.

"One mother I worked with recounted her experience of her baby's first smile. At eight weeks postpartum, exhausted and overwhelmed, she remembered her baby smiling broadly at her just before a nighttime feeding," Kurtz says. "In that moment, she was overcome by tremendous joy and relief, and felt, for the first time, a real connection to her son."

So what is it about a baby's smile that can affect a mother so deeply? Can it all be attributed to those new-mom hormones? Perhaps it stems from the survival instincts that connect an infant with its mother, or the infant learning social cues. Or is there something more going on inside our brains?

In 2008, scientists in Houston, TX published their research on the topic. Their study, "What's in a Smile? Maternal Brain Responses to Infant Facial Cues", takes data from the MRI images of 26 women as they observed images of infants smiling, crying, or with a neutral expression.

The images included the mother's own infant alternated with an unknown infant of similar ethnicity and in similar clothing and position. In each image, the baby displayed a different emotion through one of three facial expressions; happy, neutral, or sad. Researchers monitored the change in the mothers' brain activity through the transitions in images from own-infant to unknown-infant, and from happy to neutral to sad and vice versa.

The results?

"When first-time mothers see their own baby's face, an extensive brain network appears to be activated, wherein affective and cognitive information may be integrated and directed toward motor/behavioral outputs," wrote the study's authors. Seeing her infant smile or cry prompts the areas of the brain that would instigate a mother to act, whether it be to comfort, care for, or caress and play with the baby.

In addition, the authors found that reward-related brain regions are activated specifically in response to happy, but not sad, baby faces. The areas of the brain that lit up in their study are the same areas that release dopamine, the "pleasure chemical." For context, other activities that elicit dopamine surges include eating chocolate, having sex, or doing drugs. So in other words, a baby's smile may be as powerful as those other feel-good experiences.

And this gooey feeling moms may get from seeing their babies smile isn't just a recreational high—it serves a purpose.

This reward system (aka dopaminergic and oxytocinergic neuroendocrine system) exists to motivate the mother to forge a positive connection with the baby, according to Aurélie Athan, PhD, director of the Reproductive & Maternal Psychology Laboratory (a laboratory that created the first graduate courses of their kind in these subjects).

These networks also promote a mother's ability to share her emotional state with her child, which is the root of empathy. "A mother cries when baby cries, smiles when baby smiles," Athan says.

While there's a physiological explanation underlying that warm-and-fuzzy sensation elicited by a smile, there may be other factors at play too, Kurtz says.

"In my clinical practice, I often observe a stunning exchange between a mother and her baby when the latter smiles at her. A mother who is otherwise engaged in conversation with me may be, for that moment, entirely redirected to focus on her little one," Kurtz says. "This kind of attention-capturing on the part of the baby can enable and cultivate maternal attunement—a mother's ability to more deeply connect with her infant. The quality of attunement in early childhood often sets the stage for one's relationship patterns in the future."

Whether a physiological response, a neural activation, simple instinct, or the tightening of emotional connection, the feeling generated by babies' smiles is a buoy in the choppy ocean of new parenthood.

And while the first smile may be the most magical by virtue of its surprise and the necessity of that emotional lift, the fuzzy feeling can continue well into that baby's childhood and beyond. It keeps telling parents, you've got this!

[This was originally published on Apparently]

Life

Chrissy Teigen is one of the most famous moms in the world and definitely one of the most famous moms on social media.

She's the Queen of Twitter and at least the Duchess of Instagram but with a massive following comes a massive dose of mom-shame, and Teigen admits the online comments criticizing her parenting affects her.

"It's pretty much everything," Teigen told Today, noting that the bulk of the criticism falls into three categories: How she feeds her kids, how she uses her car seats and screen time.

"Any time I post a picture of them holding ribs or eating sausage, I get a lot of criticism," she explained. "Vegans and vegetarians are mad and feel that we're forcing meat upon them at a young age. They freak out."

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Teigen continues: "If they get a glimpse of the car seat there is a lot of buckle talk. Maybe for one half of a second, the strap slipped down. And TV is another big one. We have TV on a lot in my house. John and I work on television; we love watching television."

Teigen wants the shame to stop, not just for herself but for all the other moms who feel it. (And we agree.)

"Hearing that nine out of 10 moms don't feel like they're doing a good enough job is terrible," she said. "We're all so worried that we're not doing all that we can, when we really are."

The inspiration for Teigen talking publicly about mom-shame may be in part because of her participation in Pampers' "Share the Love" campaign. But even though Teigen's discussion coincides with this campaign, the message remains equally important. Advertising can be a powerful tool for shifting the way society thinks about what's "normal" and we would much rather see companies speaking out against mom-shame than inducing it to sell more stuff.

Calling out mom-shame in our culture is worth doing in our lives, our communities and yes, our diaper commercials. Thank you Chrissy (and thank you, Pampers).

News

Dear fellow mama,

I was thinking about the past the other day. About the time I had three small boys—a newborn, his 2-year-old brother and his 5-year-old brother.

How I was always drowning.

How I could never catch my breath between the constant requests.

How I always felt guilty no matter how hard I tried.

How hard it was—the constant exhaustion, struggling to keep my home any kind of clean or tidy, how I struggled to feed my kids nutritious meals, to bathe them and clean them and keep them warmly dressed in clean clothing, to love them well or enough or well enough.

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Those years were some of the toughest years I have ever encountered.

But mama, I am here to tell you that it doesn't last forever. Slowly, incrementally, without you even noticing, it gets easier. First, one child is toilet trained, then the bigger one can tie his own shoelaces, then finally they are all sleeping through the night.

It's hard to imagine; I really really get it.

It is going to get easier. I swear it. I'm not saying that there won't be new parenting challenges, that it won't be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. It will be. But it will get easier.

These days, all of my kids get the bus to school and back. Most of them dress themselves. They can all eat independently and use the toilet. Sometimes they play with each other for hours leaving me time to do whatever I need to do that day.

I sleep through the night. I am not constantly in a haze of exhaustion. I am not overwhelmed by three tiny little people needing me to help them with their basic needs, all at the same time.

I can drink a hot cup of coffee. I do not wish with every fiber of my being that I was an octopus, able to help each tiny person at the same time.

I am not tugged in opposite directions. I don't have to disappoint my 3-year-old who desperately wants to play with me while I am helping his first grade bother with his first grade reading homework.

And one day, you will be here too.

It's going to get easier. I promise. And while it may not happen today or even next week or even next month, it will happen. And you will look around in wonder at the magnificent people you helped to create and nurture and sustain.

Until then, you are stronger and more resilient than you can even imagine.

You've got this. Today and always.

Love,

A fellow mama

Life
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