A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

Mothers are constantly hearing two competing messages.


The first message that often gets served to us is this—never ever leave your children’s presence, manage every detail of their lives, make sure they are always having new and enriching experiences, protect them from anything and everything, spend every waking minute being the “perfect” mom and keep them constantly entertained and happy.

But on the other hand, we hear from major female, supposedly “feminist” voices that we should lean into our careers, not step back from our passions, and not abandon the things that we loved most before we had kids, including keeping our marriages alive and passionate.

And this leaves us scratching our heads, because something has to give. A choice to say yes to one thing is a choice to say no to another. No person, woman or man, can be in two places at one time. Omnipresence is unfortunately not a gift granted to us mortals.

So we choose, one way or another, and then the guilt sets in.

So many voices would tell us that our motherhood role, this changing the world for one, is all that matters in our lives. That it is what we designed for, made for, created for, and that it is the pinnacle of our role on this earth. So many other voices tell us that we must choose to continue changing the world, and not allow our children to get in the way of that choice. We are liberated, strong, independent women and no one can put us in a box.

Both sides leave us wanting, don’t they?

One side leaving us feeling truncated, frustrated, as though all that we were ever called to, educated for and experienced in outside of motherhood never mattered. And on the other end of the spectrum, feeling as though our children are simply an inconvenience to be managed as we pursue our dreams. No mother goes one single day without feeling the weight of her choices, one way or another.

We are also assaulted by voices that are constantly telling us to “savor the moment” because time flies by so fast. So not only are we under the pressure of making every moment picture perfect, capturing it, and making sure it lives up to an advertising standard, but we are also now living under the weight of a nostalgia for the future, an aching sadness for something we haven’t even experienced yet.

What began as the power to choose has become a trap of perfection that we can’t escape.

I have two daughters, ages four and one. I leave the house two days a week to work, and I often work during naptimes, after they go to bed, and in the “in-between” moments of the day. They see me working, and they know it is part of my life, our life as a family. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. They don’t fully understand what I do yet, but I can’t wait to tell them someday.

In my life as a mother, I have chosen to walk the line. And let me tell you, it is a tightrope between two high rises. The stakes are high, and you sweat a lot. And wonder if you are doing the right thing, that maybe you should turn back. But once you are there, the thrill of it takes over. And you know you have to keep going.

I choose to be present with my kids when I am with them. And I choose to spend intentional time away from them to pursue my dreams.

I believe mothers are not only not hindered in their dual callings and vocations, but are given a special grace that allows them to be even more productive, more goal-oriented and more focused than anyone else.

I believe when it comes to pursuing our mothering and our “other” calling, we are not at a disadvantage, but we have several advantages.

1. Creativity

Simply being in the presence of children causes us to open our eyes to the wonder of creation. We see things differently. We stop, we sit, we listen, we marvel. This is the wellspring of all creativity. If you ever feel “dried up” creatively, you need only to spend an hour with a toddler, pretending and exploring.

2. Play

Our children teach us how to play again. And all innovation comes from the freedom we experience in play. Play is the furthest thing from wasting time—it is a needed and valuable commodity. Without play, we cannot come up with new ideas. We cannot remember what really matters. We cannot innovate. As moms, we experience every single day what major corporations such as Google and Lego spend millions to cultivate—a sense of play and wonder.

3. Urgency

Mothers know that when the children are napping, they have a set amount of time to accomplish something. We do not have the luxury of putting off priority items until “later”—as moms, we don’t get a “later.” Later will bring with it a myriad of new responsibilities. We get right now.

4. Focus

This goes hand in hand with the above—when mothers do get any amount of free time, we know how to laser focus on what needs to get done. We know how to knock things off the list—and do it quickly. We have the ability to focus on a project better than a CEO in a boardroom on her/his third cup of coffee. And sometimes, when we need to, we know how to just take that time to focus on rest and self-care.

5. Planning ahead

Moms throughout the land know the panic that can ensue when caught out at a restaurant without a diaper needed for an accident, or the horror of forgetting a pacifier at home when your child is screaming in the back seat. We know the importance of planning ahead. We don’t forget one. single. thing. Because we can’t. We know that if we plan ahead, things will go much more smoothly when game time comes.

I believe that it’s time that we define our own version of success. We can devote ourselves to our children, we can create a loving, playful and joy-filled home environment and we can do what we’re called to do outside of our mothering if we so choose. We can choose to live in the “both/and”… in the tension.

It comes down to this—the freedom to choose.

Not based on guilt or fear, not based on the desire to please or heed all the competing voices. Based on your own family’s needs and your own calling. Every mom is so unique in her personality, desires, and motivations. And we have to start honoring that.

So mamas, consider this your permission slip to ditch perfect and be 100% yourself- unapologetic and unashamed.


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One of the hardest areas to declutter can be your children's toy closet. Does that beeping, singing firetruck spark joy for you? Well no, in fact, it might be the most frustrating toy, but then again, having an occupied, entertained child sparks more joy than all of your household items combined.

So do more toys really mean a more engaged child? Studies say no. Having fewer toys leads to a more ordered home and encourages your child to develop creativity, concentration and a sense of responsibility for taking care of their belongings. But how do you go about reducing the number of toys your child has when there are so many "must haves" on the market? Perhaps more importantly, how do you ensure you don't bring any more toys that will be quickly forgotten into your home?

The secret: Look for toys that are open-ended, toys that will last for years, toys that encourage creativity, and toys that benefit development.

Here are some of our favorite Montessori-inspired toys.

Open-ended construction


Toys that are open-ended, rather than have just one use, empower your child to be an active participant in their own play. An example of an open-ended toy is a set of blocks, while a more limited use toy might be a talking toy robot. Blocks are only fun if your child applies their own creative thinking skills to make them fun, while the robot is a much more passive type of entertainment.

Open-ended toys also tend to keep children's interest for much longer, as they grow with your child—as their skills develop, they can build increasingly complex structures and scenarios.

There are so many beautiful sets of blocks available, but here are a few good choices.

1. Wooden Blocks

2. Duplo Lego

3. Magnatiles

Pretend play


Beginning in early toddlerhood, many children begin to incorporate pretend play into their repertoire. They do this all on their own, without the aid of toys, turning mud into pies and sticks into hammers.

Still, these toys will encourage their budding imaginations and also allow them to process things they experience in their own lives through role-playing and pretend play.

4. Doll

5. Farm

6. People figures

7. Train set

Music


Music provides a great deal of joy to most children, and can also aid in brain development.

Providing regular opportunities for your young child to both create and listen to music will encourage him to develop an appreciation for music, an understanding of rhythm, and an outlet for creative expression.

8. Musical instrument set

9. Simple music player with headphones

Movement


Giving young children opportunities for movement is so important, both for their gross motor development and for giving them a daily outlet for their boundless energy. Children who spend plenty of time running around generally sleep better and are often better able to concentrate on quieter activities like reading.

Encouraging plenty of unstructured time outside is the best way to ensure your child gets enough daily movement. These toys though can help your child develop muscle coordination and strength, while also providing plenty of fun.

10. Balance bike

11. Pedal bike

12. Climbing structure

13. Wagon

14. Balls

Puzzles


Puzzles are wonderful toys for helping children develop spatial understanding, problem-solving skills, resilience and new vocabulary. Bonus, they also provide a quiet activity that can engage even young children for an extended period of time!

15. Peg puzzles

16. Jigsawpuzzles

17. Layered puzzles

Games



Games encourage your child to develop social skills such as taking turns and winning and losing gracefully.

Many games for young children also have educational benefits such as building memory or practicing counting.

18. Memory game

19. Bingo

20. Simple board game

Taking the plunge and reducing your children's toy collection can be scary. If you're uncertain whether your child will miss a certain toy, try putting it away in a closet for a month to see if they notice. Take some time to observe your child with their reduced toy collection and notice how their play changes.

Once you commit to fewer toys, you'll find you can truly be intentional with what you provide your child and can also choose higher quality toys when you're only purchasing a few. There will also be far fewer little objects strewn around the house to trip over, which is a huge bonus!

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For so many parents, finding and funding childcare is a constant struggle. How would your life change if you didn't have to worry about finding and paying for quality childcare? Would you go back to work? Work more hours? Or just take the four figures you'd save each month and pay off your student loans faster?

These hypothetical scenarios have been playing in the minds of many American parents this week as presidential hopeful Senator Elizabeth Warren unveiled her plan for free or affordable "high-quality child care and early education for every child in America."

Universal childcare will be a cornerstone of Warren's campaign for 2020. It's a lofty goal, and one many parents can get behind, but is it doable?

Supporters note it's been done in other countries for decades. In Finland, for example, every child has had access to free universal day care since the early 1990s. Sweden, too, has been building its universal childcare system for decades.

Critics of Warren's plan worry about the price tag and potential for ballooning bureaucracy, and some are concerned that subsidizing childcare could actually make it more expensive for those who have a government-funded spot, as it could result in fewer private childcare providers.

But subsidized childcare had lowered prices in other places. In Sweden, parents pay less than $140 USD to send children to preschool. In Finland, the cost per child varies by municipality, household income and family size. A parent on the lower end of the income spectrum might pay as little as the equivalent of $30 USD, and the maximum fee is about $330 a month.

But Finland's population is on par with Minnesota's. Sweden is comparable to Michigan.

So could the Nordic model scale to serve the hundreds of millions of families in America?

As Eeva Penttila, speaking as the head of international relations for Helsinki, Finland's education department once told The Globe and Mail, "you can't take one element out and transfer it to your own country. Education is the result of culture, history and the society of a nation."

Right now America spends less on early childhood education than most other developed countries (only Turkey, Latvia, and Croatia spend less), but that wasn't always the case. This nation does have a history of investing in childcare, if we look back far enough.

Back in World War II, when women needed to step into the workforce as men fought overseas, America invested in a network of childcare to the tune of $1 billion (adjusted to today's money) and served hundreds of thousands of families in almost every state through center-based care. Parents paid between $0.50 and $0.75 per child per day (the equivalent of about $10 in today's money).

So America does have a historical and cultural precedent, not to mention a current model of universal preschool that is working, right now, in the nation's capital. In D.C. In Washington, D.C., 90% of 4-year-olds attend a full-day preschool program for free, according to the Center for American Progress. Seventy percent of 3-year-old are going too, and the program has increased the city's maternal workforce participation rate by more than 10%.

It won't happen overnight

While some American parents might be daydreaming of a life without a four-figure day care bill in 2020, the road to true universal childcare for all children in America would be a long one. Peter Moss, a researcher at the University of London's Institute of Education, previously told The Globe and Mail it took Sweden "many years to get it right."

Indeed, the 1990s saw long wait lists at Swedish day cares, but the growing pains of the '90s paved the way for the enviable system Swedes enjoy today.

According to Moss, governments in other countries look at the Nordic model and "tend to say, 'We can't do that.' But what they really mean is 'We can't suddenly do that.' In other countries, they just don't get to grips with what needs doing and actually plot a course."

Maybe America's starting point is found in its history books, or in the modern day preschools of the nation's capital, or in the conversations happening between now and 2020. It doesn't have to be Warren's plan, but America does need a plan for safer, more affordable childcare.

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It's so unfortunate that in the working world there are still those who believe mothers are more distracted and less productive than people without children.

Research proves that just isn't true—working moms are actually more engaged than working dads and fathers and equally committed—and plenty of working mothers will say that parenthood has actually made them more productive.

Ayesha Curry counts herself among those moms who become more efficient at work after becoming parents. The entrepreneurial mom of three seems unstoppable when it comes to expanding her career, which she launched as a lifestyle blog back when the oldest of her three children was still a baby.

"You don't realize how much you can get done in a day until you become a parent and you're like, 'what was I doing with my time before'?" she recently old Cheddar's Nora Ali.

Now less than seven years later she's built her own empire as a mom, not in spite of being one.


Now a New York Times best-selling cookbook author and restaurateur, Curry has also got her own brand, Homemade, and you can find her products bearing her name in places like Target and JC Penny. She's been promoting a partnership with GoDaddy and she's an ambassador for the Honest Company, too.

Curry says motherhood taught her how to multitask and manage her time.

"I have three children, so I've had to grow four invisible arms," she explains. "I've definitely learned efficiency through being a parent. It's helped me in my business tenfold."

As a celebrity, Curry's life experience is kind of unique, but her experience of becoming better at work because of motherhood isn't, according to experts.

Career coach Eileen Chadnick previously told Motherly that motherhood is an asset in the workplace, in part because it trains women to be both empathetic and assertive at the same time, a combo that makes for great leaders. "There are incredibly nice, compassionate women who are very strong and know how to take a stand," Chadmick said. "And they're trusted and admired by others even if they need to say 'no' to their employees."

That's something Curry agrees with. Because it's her name on that frying pan, cookbook or bedspread, she doesn't shy away from saying 'no' when she doesn't like something. "I'm really good about being forceful and putting my foot down," she explains.

It's easier to put your foot down when you've already grown four invisible arms. That's the balancing act of motherhood, and it's what makes this mama so good at business.

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It may seem like there are more recalls than ever these days, but that's actually a good thing for parents. It means fewer potentially dangerous products are making it to our dinner tables and medicine cabinets.

According to food safety experts, the spike in recall notices for everything from broccoli to baby toys in recent years suggests companies are doing a better job of self-reporting, and we're actually safer than we were in the days when recalls were rare.

"It reflects a food industry that takes contamination and foodborne illnesses seriously. Increasingly companies are willing to recall their products rather than expose customers to potential harm," Dr. William Hallman, professor and chair of Rutgers Department of Human Ecology, said in an interview with Food Drive."So more companies are taking a cautionary approach."

Here are the recalls parents need to know about this month:

Dollar General Baby Gripe Water

The FDA issued a recall notice for "DC Baby Gripe Water herbal supplement with organic ginger and fennel extracts" after the company received one report of a one-week old baby who had difficulty swallowing the product, and there were three other complaints "attributed to the undissolved citrus flavonoid."

The FDA says "the product should not be considered hazardous but could result in difficulty when swallowing the product for sensitive individuals."

Basically, it's not harmful if swallowed but the undissolved flavonoid makes it a choking hazard.

The gripe water was sold at Dollar General stores in four ounce bottles with the UPC code 8 5495400246 3.

Nature's Path Envirokidz gluten free cereals

If you've got a kiddo with celiac disease you're probably familiar with the EnviroKidz kine of gluten free cereals sold at Trader Joe's and other grocery stores. Unfortunately, Nature's Path, the maker of the cereals, is recalling more than 400,000 boxes of Envirokidz cereals in the U.S. and Canada due to potential gluten contamination.

Choco Chimp, Gorilla Munch and Jungle Munch are all impacted. The best before dates are: 08/01/2019, 08/24/2019, 08/27/2019, and 09/21/2019. The UPC codes are: 0 58449 86002 0, 0 5844987023 4, 0 5844987027 2, 0 5844987024 1 and 0 5844987028 9.

If you can handle gluten they are safe, but Nature's Path says "people who have a wheat allergy, celiac disease or sensitivity to gluten and wheat should not consume the cereals."

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