“I don’t want my child’s reproductive anatomy to define them as a person,” explains one mama-to-be.
From the very moment the pregnancy test came back positive, you probably started daydreaming about how your little one will look.
Some mamas want a pink or blue cupcake. ?
For some women, that picture comes into clearer focus during the second trimester, when they elect to learn the baby's sex. With so many gender reveal parties seemingly dominating Facebook and Pinterest, it may seem like a given—especially if you're really looking for an excuse to eat a cupcake that's been colored pink or blue. (We're not judging. Just save one for us!)
And some stay Team Green. ?
Still, many other expectant parents opt to skip that part of the anatomy ultrasound or blood tests to remain Team Green until delivery day.
It's about 50-50.
According to a 2007 Gallup poll, Americans were almost perfectly divided on whether to learn their child's sex during pregnancy. But it turns out generation may have something to do with it:
Two-thirds of Millennials said they were more inclined to get the details, versus 48% of people between the ages of 35 and 49 at the time of the survey.
When talking to doctors and friends, we learned that most mamas we know find out gender ahead of time these days.
What Motherly mamas say:
1. It's not an easy decision.
Erin, an expectant mother from Kansas, always assumed she would learn the sex of her baby during pregnancy. But when faced with the actual decision, she found it wasn't such a simple question. “I realized my desire to find out the baby's sex was really rooted in my desire to bond with my baby," she said, explaining she and her husband didn't want to put an emphasis on their child's sex.
2. It doesn't define them.
“I don't want my child's reproductive anatomy to define them as a person. Finding out might in some ways make the concept of this baby more real, but it ultimately does not help me get to know this being, their personality, their likes and dislikes."
3. The anticipation is fun.
Other parents who decide to wait until the baby is born say they enjoy the anticipation or appreciate that's how it was traditionally done. Some say they're holding off because ultrasounds aren't 100% accurate and it's best not to get their hopes up one way or the other.
4. It can help you feel more connected.
A lot of these mamas say finding out helps them to feel more connected to their little one.
5. It can be nice to be certain.
For Karley, a mother of two from Nebraska, finding out whether she was having a boy or girl during pregnancy gave her some peace of mind. “I felt that I was able to find out a little bit more about my little human growing inside during pregnancy, which seems to be such an unfamiliar experience," she said. “No pregnancy is the same—sometimes I didn't even recognize my own body—so it was nice to be certain of some things."
6. It's less overwhelming to find out.
When the symptoms and cravings she experienced during her second pregnancy proved to be very different from the first time around, Karley said it affirmed her decision to learn the baby's sex so she wouldn't go through through the next months secretly making an assumption, which she thought “would add extra emotions to an already overwhelming birthing experience" if the guess was wrong.
7. Finding out helps the older sibling nest.
During her second time around, Karley also considered the feelings of her young son, who got comfortable with the thought of having a little sister by making artwork that included her name and reading books that reflected their family. But if there is ever a third baby, Karley said she and her husband might consider waiting; she said she “envies the spontaneity" of people who go Team Green.
8. It's not black or white (or pink or blue).
The pink-blue-green debate isn't totally black-and-white, either. Other options include having one eager partner find out while the more patient one waits. Or you both can find out and then keep it a secret from friends and family until the big day.
Whatever you decide, know there isn't a right or wrong way to go. And, besides, we guarantee you'll love that little babe to pieces whether he's a he or she's a she.