Child psychologist shares 6 simple phrases that actually make kids listen

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Getting toddlers and preschoolers to listen can feel like an uphill battle
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Getting toddlers and preschoolers to listen can feel like an uphill battle. A recent article first reported by CNBC highlights insights from child psychologist Reem Raouda, who has studied over 200 parent-child relationships. Instead of focusing solely on obedience, Raouda reframes listening struggles around emotional safety—helping children feel secure, respected, and heard, which naturally encourages cooperation.
Raouda identifies six simple phrases that parents can try tonight at bedtime or during the next meltdown:
Related: 5 tips on teaching kids to stand up for themselves, according to a child psychologist
1. “I believe you.”
Validating a child’s feelings prevents defensiveness and promotes open communication. For example, if a child insists they didn’t spill juice on purpose, responding with “I believe you. Let’s clean it up together” addresses the behavior without escalating the situation.
2. “Let’s figure this out together.”
Inviting children to solve problems encourages collaboration and reduces power struggles. Instead of commanding, “Clean up your toys,” try: “I see you don’t want to clean everything now. Let’s figure this out together. What’s the first step?”
3. “You can feel this. I’m right here.”
When children are overwhelmed, validating their emotions and offering your presence helps them regulate feelings. Instead of dismissing a meltdown, say: “You can feel this. I’m right here.”
4. “I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.”
Before expecting cooperation, children need to feel heard. For example, if a child says, “I’m never playing with my brother again!” respond with: “I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.” This uncovers the underlying feelings behind their behavior.
5. “I hear you. I’m on your side.”
Expressing empathy and support reduces resistance and encourages problem-solving. If a child is frustrated with homework, say: “I hear you. I’m on your side. Let’s find a way to make this easier.”
Related: How to help your child deal with a bully, according to a child psychologist
6. “I’ve got you, no matter what.”
Assuring children that love isn’t conditional fosters accountability without fear. If a child accidentally breaks something, respond: “I’ve got you, no matter what. We’ll make it right together.”
These six phrases give parents simple ways to turn everyday conflicts into opportunities for connection. With empathy, validation, and presence, children feel secure enough to listen, cooperate, and build stronger relationships.

















































































