18 inspired ways to reconnect with your identity outside of motherhood

This morning on my weekly mothers group run, a new mother joined us.

She joined the group even though she didn’t know anyone, she had not slept the previous night, it was 35 degrees out and she is not a morning person. She ran with our pacesetter and it did not seem to faze her. She was happy to be outside, grateful to experience “happy morning people” and proud that she had stuck to her New Year’s resolution to run.

I remember this feeling. Proud just to get out of bed. Proud to do one thing for myself that I used to do regularly before becoming a mother. This feeling is important because it brings you back to your own center and reminds you of who you are.

The transition to motherhood is so complex and extraordinary that it touches every aspect of our lives.

We are forever changed. Some of these changes are so profound that we may lose touch with our center while we focus our attention on birthing, bonding with our infant and caring for one or multiple babies. Every day we are expanding ourselves to include our role as a mother.

This evolutionary process of becoming a mother includes a dramatic shift in time, focus, lifestyle, finances and relationships. For most of us it is not a straightforward progression, and there are very few resources to help us along. Problems can arise when we focus too much of our energy on the well-being of others and not enough on ourselves. When things get difficult to manage and you find yourself stressed out, a bit of self-care can help maintain your sanity and balance.

One place to start is to reach out to the “old you” and do something that used to make you smile and feel just a bit more alive.

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This can take 10 minutes or two hours, but make sure you set aside the time and set the intention to do it.

After doing this, you will find yourself back in control, in charge and replenished with energy to continue with whatever the day brings you.

18 ways to reconnect with yourself—outside of your role as mother

• Use a symbol that reminds you to say “yes” to yourself

• Get a pedicure

• Watch your favorite movie

• Practice yoga

• Read a favorite book

• Walk on the beach

• Play your own music in the car

• Take a 10-minute “time out”

• Go to lunch with a friend

• Go for a solo hike

• Meditate

• Browse in a store for nothing in particular

– Dance

• Go to a museum or art show

• Take an early morning exercise class without childcare

• Go for a long run

• Play tennis

• Make yourself a meal that only you like

Related: Experts recommend you should start screaming for self-care

As mothers, we must work to put ourselves back in the center of our lives.

I promise you that if the new you does something just for yourself, the former you will be waiting there with a smile.

A version of this story was originally published on July 26, 2016. It has been updated.