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I was told over and over again that having a second or third child is much easier than the first, mainly because I would know what to expect. (Though I wondered how I would juggle two boys, when sometimes I feel like I can barely manage one.) When I became a mother of two, I found this to be partially true.

I felt more prepared for the seemingly nonstop feedings, diaper changes, etc. And I wasn't as devastated by the lack of sleep that comes with caring for a newborn—our two-year-old, Alex, woke me up at least once a night anyway. The dishes that filled the sink and cluttered the countertops made me slightly less crazy than before. I also expected some drama and tears from Alex as he adopted the role of big brother.


But, as I've learned many times before, planning and predicting only takes you so far. After the initial euphoria of new life, I was met with two emotions I did not expect.

The first was loneliness.

My husband was preparing to leave for a work trip he had initially planned to cancel since I was 12 days past my due date. I assured him that we would be fine. “I can handle it,” I told him while I held our two-day-old in the hospital bed.

At the time, I was still coming down from the high of having the birth experience that I had hoped and planned for. Had this conversation taken place the day after returning home, though, it would have sounded much different and the words "heck no" would likely have been a part of it.

When I was discharged from the hospital, I felt great, considering the fact that I had birthed a baby in the early hours of the previous morning. Fueled by apple juice from the nurse's station, a bagel, and some coffee that my mom graciously brought, at that point I naively thought it would be all down-hill from there. I was going home to resume life as I knew it, with the addition of one small brand new baby.

When we walked through our front door, it felt like weeks had passed since being home.

I clutched Connor in my arms while my husband followed close behind with Alex. Something felt different. Not good or bad, just different and strangely unfamiliar. The air even smelled different. I took a deep breath and looked around trying to figure out where to go, and tried not to attach myself to the emotions that were surfacing.

As the weeks progressed, I felt strangely isolated, despite my husband's presence and the texts and calls from family and friends. The days and nights blurred together, and I remember looking expectantly at my calendar, hoping that I had something different to look forward to.

I needed someone to sit in my kitchen and ask me how I was doing, and then call me out when I responded with my automatic, scripted response, “we're doing really well!”

It's not that I wasn't enjoying my children, or that I hadn't fallen in love with my new baby. I just needed to talk, to share, to process all of my feelings as a new mom again.

Sometimes I would get a burst of ambitious and restless energy. I would pack up the boys and enough baby supplies to fill a suitcase and drive across town to be around people. Those ventures were rarely satisfying though, and I typically returned home feeling unfulfilled and utterly exhausted.

Second came shame.

My shame was associated with needing help, but feeling like I was supposed to manage on my own. I was unleashing my feelings of inadequacy and frustration on my husband, when deep down I knew he wasn't the cause. And living for the few precious minutes when our boys’ sleep schedules overlapped made me feel even worse.

I thought that I had prepared myself for this stage of life. I read books and blogs and talked to other moms about how they adjusted to their second or third child.

I had a list of indoor activities to occupy Alex during his early weeks and months as a big brother. My husband and I even had a plan for managing grocery shopping and cooking. But despite everything, I felt completely overwhelmed.

When Connor was 10 days old, I sat down to nurse him in our family room and my eyes moved to the end of the couch and across the floor. There were at least three loads of laundry scattered across there, and the floor was nearly covered with every piece of fake food we owned, along with plastic hammers, battery-operated drills, and at least four large trucks.

When Connor fell asleep nursing, I looked at the clock and wondered if and when Alex would nap. I looked toward the sink. The dishes were stacked almost to the faucet. The countertops were camouflaged with crumpled paper towels, dirty plates, and cereal bowls.

In that moment, I felt paralyzed: I couldn't relax, I couldn't clean up, I was hungry, thirsty, and just plain exhausted.

I didn't have these feelings at first. I actually felt tremendously successful for the five or so days after coming home from the hospital. But at some point toward the end of that first week home, I felt like the hamster wheel I was on suddenly stopped with a jerk, and I was dumped onto the floor face first.

I felt consumed by the vastly different needs of my children and the never-ending mess that was our house.

I felt unremitting guilt that I was not able to meet both of my boys’ needs at the same time.

I felt like I was failing as a mother of two.

I remember craving time alone with Connor, without my two-year-old at my side. I was worried that I wouldn't bond with him like I did with Alex, or that he wouldn't feel as loved.

Then I worried about Alex. Would he grow to resent Connor? Would he doubt my love for him if I constantly reject his requests? I found myself counting down the hours until my husband was due home from work.

For weeks, each day ended the same way: exhaustion, guilt, and the feeling of dread that I would never catch up, and that I would never be enough.

My husband and I were frequently angry at each other, full of blame for the mess that we were living in, or the way we felt. And guilt always followed when I made a mental list of the million reasons why we were so tremendously blessed.

I knew I didn't have time to wallow—I had two sets of eyes always on me, studying me, relying on me. I was hyper-aware of their ability to read me, and I was scared that they would feel my anxiety. The brightness in their eyes inspired my faith that things would get easier, and that I wouldn't always feel like such a mess. And then a funny thing happened: things began to even out as routines and life got more balanced.

I realized that my expectations had been ruining my life.

The more I changed my perspective, the more I began to notice that the things I was feeling lonely or shameful about fell a little more into place.

I started writing again, without judgment and without worrying about how I was supposed to feel.

I stopped measuring myself against my madly productive and efficient pre-baby self.

I stopped punishing myself every night for all of the things that I couldn't check off my to-do list, or for the laundry that slept in the washing machine.

I spent more time immersed in Alex's world of trucks, tools and pretend play, and I spent less time picking up his toys.

I started connecting with other moms again, even when I didn't feel like I had anything to offer.

I made time for my husband again.

When I accepted the fact that I couldn't meet the needs of my boys 100% of the time (or even 80%), that our house probably would never look the way I want it to, and that taking a daily shower was an absolute necessity, I was able to let go of what I thought our life could or should look like with another baby, and I just started living it.

I had reached a new normal, and found my joy again.

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It's time to go shopping for your little ones mama. Not long ago we shared the super sale on Hunter boots for us moms, and now the super colorful and water proof boots are on sale for kids! Perfect timing as Spring is approaching and there will be a lot of puddle jumping in our futures.

The sale is up to 50% off in select styles, but in all the colors of the rainbow! We don't know how long the sale will last so act fast because some sizes are already on low stock!

Here are our favorite styles to shop from the sale:

The original grab handle boot in light blue

Original Kids First Classic Grab Handle

Originally $55, the original Grab Handle boot is 50% off right now.


The classic gloss boot in blue

Original Kids First Classic Gloss Rain

Originally $55, the original Classic Gloss boot is 40% off right now.


Chelsea boot in yellow 

Original Big Kids' Gloss Chelsea Boots

Originally $75, the Chelsea boot is 40% off right now.


The original grab handle boot in pink

Original Kids First Classic Grab Handle

Originally $55, the original Grab Handle boot is 40% off right now.


The classic gloss boot in yellow

Originally $55, the original Classic Gloss boot is 40% off right now.


The camo boots

Original Little Kids Storm Camo Rain Boots

Originally $75, the camo boot is 50% off right now.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


Jessica Simpson's life seems perfect. She has three beautiful kids, a wildly successful career, a seemingly solid marriage...she has it all, at least as far as we can see. But recent revelations prove that no one really knows what anyone else is secretly dealing with—and Jessica, by her own admission, has been struggling with alcohol issues.

The singer-turned-business-woman recently sat down with TODAY's Hoda Kotb, and it will air on NBC's TODAY Wednesday morning.

"I had started a spiral and I couldn't catch up with myself…and that was with alcohol," Jessica explained. "I would say it openly to everyone. 'I know. I know, I'll stop soon. I'll cut back'," Jessica continued when asked if she realized things were getting out of control. "For me to cut back, like I'm an all or nothing girl, and so I didn't know it was a problem until it was...I completely didn't recognize myself…I always had a glitter cup. It was always filled to the rim with alcohol."


She's hardly alone. The rise of #winemom phenomenon is well documented and many parents struggle with substance abuse problems. But Simpson's story proves there is a way to get your life back.

Simpson quit drinking in 2017 after she found herself unable to get her kids ready for a Halloween party. She says she'd started drinking before 7:30 in the morning, before accompanying her husband, Eric Johnson, to a school assembly for their oldest daughter. Later that night she was unable to get her kids dressed in their Halloween costumes. The next morning she was so ashamed. Feeling like she had failed her kids she slept until they left the house, then got up and drank some more.

That episode was her tipping point. She quit drinking (as did her husband, Eric Johnson, who supports her in her sobriety.)

As parents, we know how overwhelming the demands can be...and how easy it is to sink into habits that don't ultimately serve us well. For Jessica, the way to heal was to sever her relationship with alcohol.

"I had to give [drinking] up," Jessica said. "I'm not going to miss another day. I'm not going to miss another Halloween. I'm not going to miss another Christmas. I'm going to be present."


Babies come with a lot of stuff. And when you're out and about, a roomy, comfy diaper bag is the place for everything you need to be prepared for whatever the day throws your way. But is a cute, trendy diaper bag that doesn't scream, well... DIAPER BAG, too much to ask? It's not, mamas.

We've rounded up our favorite diaper bags that don't actually look like diaper bags, but instead like the cute, super stylish bags you might have carried before the days of finding crushed up puffs at the bottom of your purse.

These bags prove you can get the job done, mama—and look darn good while doing it.

Freshly Picked City Pack

Freshly Picked City Pack

This simple, modern backpack can easily take you from a day at work to dinner with the kiddos. We love the hardware details, the lightweight design, and the hidden back pocket.


Vogshow Waterproof Bag

Vogshow Waterproof Diaper Bag

A sleek look, plus a padded laptop compartment, anti-theft and insulated pockets and magnetic buttons instead of zippers. 🙌


Skip Hop Travel Bag

Skip Hop Travel Bag

With a large zippered main compartment, there's plenty of room to keep all of the things. We love the adjustable straps—you can wear as a backpack, cross-body, messenger bag, or attach to the stroller.


Companion Quilted Backpack

companion quilted backpack diaper bag

Are you off to sit on the beach for a few hours, or taking your toddlers to the zoo? No one will be the wiser, mamas. We love the quilted look, padded straps, and roomy interior.


Mommore Diaper Backpack

Mommore Diaper Backpack

With a water resistant exterior, wet clothes pocket and a main compartment that completely opens up, you'll love having this to tote around.


JJ Cole Brookmont

JJ Cole Cognac Diaper Bag

As stunning as it is functional. It has 15 pockets and a removable liner on the inside so you can easily clean up messes in no time.


Little Unicorn Boardwalk Tote

If you're looking to keep things simple + stylish, mamas, this is the bag for you. It's versatile, functional, and will get tons of use well past the diaper days.


Presidio Vegan Leather Diaper Tote

Presidio Vegan Leather Diaper Tote

This stunning tote would make the perfect on-the-go bag. It comes with a changing page and a couple pockets on the inside to keep everything organized. Don't forget to personalize it!


Ticent Tote

Ticent Diaper Bag

With nearly 500 reviews, this one has incredible ratings. It offers multiple pockets, including an insulated one for snacks or bottles. The waterproof cotton material is ideal for those inevitable spills.


Fawn Design Original

Stylish and versatile, this bag can be worn as a cross body or as a backpack. It's roomy without being bulky, and has a total of 10 pockets for awesome storage.


Skip Hop Greenwich Backpack

No one would ever know this bag is packed full of baby's items. 😉


Rosie Pope Highbury Hill

Highbury Hill Diaper Backpack

If you're looking to up your style, this chic backpack will help you get there. Lots of inner pockets and zippered compartments make it simple to organize your stuff, and the top flap and wide opening make for quick + easy accessibility.


Babymel Robyn

Babymel Robyn Diaper Backpack

We love everything about this effortlessly stylish faux leather backpack. It's easy to wipe down, converts to a cross body bag, and even comes with a changing pad and drawstring bottle holder.


Petunia Pickle Bottom Pathway

Petunia Pickle Bottom Diaper Tote

This two-tone canvas bag could not be prettier. We love that it easily stands upright when set down, and that it's super functional as a diaper bag yet super stylish as an everyday purse.


Skip Hop Duo

Skip Hop Duo Diaper Bag

The timeless stripes on this 11-pocket bag means it will never go out of style, and the durable cotton canvas means it will stand up to years of use.


We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


Frustrations and emotions were at an all time high for both us. I was worried that my lack of patience would get the best of me, leaving her feeling let down and frustrated with me on her new journey of becoming a “big girl." And selfishly, I was tired of washing wet underwear. For her part, my daughter was tired of being asked for the hundredth time if she needed to use the potty.

We both were feeling a little defeated in this new adventure.

I have found too often as a mother that I expect my child to respond new things, like to potty training, as fast and as close to the last blog post, book or opinion I heard or read. What I have learned is that no two children are alike and the moment I release my expectations for where mine should or should not be, we are both brought back to peace and patience.


So maybe a break was all we needed to start fresh the next day. We headed to our favorite spot by the lake and had a picnic. My daughter munched on popcorn and chatted away about the weather and pinecones, and listened for the sounds of helicopters—which you hear quite often living on an aviation military base.

Sometimes in the daily struggles of motherhood I have noticed that I can forget who I am and the strength we possess as mothers. It may not come easily at first, but I grow with each new day. Even potty training—this mundane human activity that is emotional and (quite literally) messy, teaches me much about the meaning and purpose of motherhood.

Potty training has taught me a huge lesson on patience. Patience to be present, to pay attention to what is right in front of me. To be encouraging, to not rush the process, to not place expectations on timing or play the comparison game we often play as mothers.

Patience is needed in every area of parenting and potty training is just one way where we can see as parents where our patience is wearing thin.

I have found that it's when I come from a place of patience and presence that I can then glean wisdom from those messy, mundane, time-consuming tasks of potty training, and find that the waiting, sitting and hours of time spent in the bathroom gives me an opportunity to be present in my child's world.

Whether it be the grocery line, a traffic jam, or cleaning up wet bedding, I learn the art and joy in the small and big moments in motherhood. Giving our children space to fail and try it again as many times as it takes encourages them that they too can cultivate the gift of patience in there own tiny lives.

My daughter speaks to me everyday, inviting growth that sometimes feels really hard and frustrating, she provokes patience to be felt and sensed through every minute of the day. And for this I am grateful. Because to truly live and be present in my child's world means “I learn from her, and she learns from me." Even in potty training.

Our children have so much to offer to who we are as individuals and they have so much to teach us. In fact, I have come to live for these exhausting, beautiful, and downright messy moments in time. When I push myself to embrace them, rather than just find them frustrating, I stretch and grow and evolve. I become the mother I hope to be.

And to you mama, whether in the midst of sleepless newborn nights or toddler tornados or the midst of potty training, may you find strength as a mother, as a wife, and as a person to let go of any expectations or judgements you place upon yourself.

May love and gratitude fill our hearts and peace be with all of us on the journey that motherhood is.

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