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No, we’re not finding out our baby’s sex

Did you keep it a surprise, mama?

No, we’re not finding out our baby’s sex

After someone glances down at my (now-huge) bump and congratulates me, I can anticipate what comes next: "What are you having?" It's a simple question, but it's led to some surprisingly intimate conversations everywhere I go. In the checkout line at the grocery store. In the mascara aisle at Sephora. In my local pharmacy. In a hotel elevator. Even in the dentist's chair when my mouth was pried open during a routine cleaning.

When I explain to the person asking that I don't know the sex of my baby yet because my husband and I want to be surprised, I can see their facial expression shift from mild curiosity to wide-eyed fascination.

"But how do you prepare without knowing if it's a boy or a girl?" (I have names picked out for either scenario.)

"What kind of nursery will the baby have?" (I gravitate towards neutral furniture and color schemes anyway.)

"What will you do about their clothes?" (I stocked up on essential onesies and both sets of grandparents have happily announced that they're going on a shopping spree after my little one is born.)

And then there's the big one: "Why would you choose to wait?"

I never had a big sit-down discussion with my husband about it—the subject naturally came up in conversation a few times long before we chose to have a child. We both instinctively knew it was the right decision for us.

We couldn't imagine a more thrilling moment than having the obstetrician announce the news to us right there in the delivery room. The 40 weeks of anticipation leading up to our baby's birth would feel like Christmas, our birthdays, and every other happy occasion magnified by one million.

I didn't realize how in the minority we were in this simple (to us) decision. The first time it came up was during my nuchal translucency screening. One of my doctors asked if I wanted to order an optional specialized blood test to find out the sex. When I declined, his shocked expression threw me for a loop.

At each subsequent appointment, we had to tell the sonographers and medical professionals we came into contact with that we didn't want to know. I couldn't even check my test results on the patient portal. My husband and I joked that we should wear "Team we're not finding out" stickers on our shirts to make things easier.

Since then, our desire to keep the sex of our baby a secret (even from ourselves) continues to evoke strong emotional reactions on both sides of the spectrum. Loved ones have either applauded our decision or told us we'd lost our minds.

Some of the most memorable encounters were with people I had never even met before. A grandmother shopping with her daughter threw her arms around me in a warm embrace. "I'm SO excited for you! NO ONE does that anymore!"

Another day, I was testing out strollers when another expectant mama-to-be creating her registry struck up a conversation. "I would die if I were you," she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

Just because we're not finding out doesn't stop everyone from guessing. We've heard it all from our relatives: "I dreamt that you're having a girl and I've guessed eight out of the last 10 pregnancies correctly." "Your stomach is shaped like a basketball, so it's definitely a boy." "Based on your sonogram photo, it looks like a girl." "You have that glow about you so you must be having a boy."

It wasn't that I couldn't appreciate the benefits of finding out the baby's sex ahead of time. During my pregnancy, several close friends and relatives announced that they were expecting, too, and I was *SO* excited to share in their joy of finding out whether it was a boy or girl.

But something in my heart kept telling me that waiting until the baby was born was the right thing for the two of us. This was the first of many times throughout motherhood that I realized I needed to do what's best for my family.

My husband never wavered, but I have had some moments of self-doubt along the way. There was a period when my Instagram feed was filled with back-to-back photos of creative reveals featuring cakes, confetti guns, and even fireworks. By not broadcasting the sex of our baby, were we missing out on some sort of magical joy? And also depriving those closest to us that same happiness gained by knowledge?

But not finding out the sex came with some surprising benefits. My Type A tendencies were forced to take a backseat and I learned to appreciate the present.

I relinquished control and surrendered to the pregnancy process, unknowns and all. I didn't go overboard and buy 50 newborn outfits because I didn't want his or her wardrobe to consist entirely of gray and yellow. I wasn't able to pre-plan everything or impose unrealistic expectations on what my relationship with my future child might be.

Now I'm one month away from my due date, and the joyous reality of getting to meet my child is finally sinking in.

I'm so glad that I didn't succumb to the pressure and stayed true to myself. In an era of instant gratification and social media documenting our every move, the surprise of finding out the sex of my baby feels like it was well worth the wait.

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14 toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With fall in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in outside-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Detective set

Plan Toys detective set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$100

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

$100

Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

$45

Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

$179

Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

$100

Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$33

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$88

Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

$75

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

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Sunday Citizen

I live in the Northeast and when I woke up this morning, my house was freezing. It had been in the mid 40's overnight and we haven't turned the heat on yet. Suddenly, my normal duvet felt too thin. The socks on my bare feet too non-existent. Winter is coming, and I'd been drinking rosés still pretending it was summer.

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Cameron Diaz on having a baby at 47: 'You really have to work hard for it'

"The only pressure for me now is I have to live to be, like, 107, you know? No pressure!"

This is the decade that saw the face of first-time motherhood change. The number of first-time mamas under 30 is shrinking, while more and more women are becoming moms after 40.

Cameron Diaz is one of them. The actress and businesswoman, now 48, became a mom in January at the age of 47. In a new episode of Naomi Campbell's YouTube series, No Filter, Diaz opens up about what it's like to become a mom in your fourth decade.

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