To the new mama who feels so alone—and so needed—at the same time

I know that you are tired and lonely and really just want to be clean with clothes that fit.

To the new mama who feels so alone—and so needed—at the same time

This is for you, new mama. I see you. I know that you are tired and lonely and really just want to be clean with clothes that fit. These promises are for you.

You aren’t alone.

But I know it feels like it. Motherhood comes crashing in from all sides, and it can feel like no one truly understands what you are going through. Give yourself a gift by letting your people in to this new, messy motherhood stage. Say yes to your mom when she offers to stay with you for a day or two. Say yes when your friend suggests bringing over a meal. Point her to the vacuum and the sink full of dishes when she says she’d like to help. Don’t feel bad about this or worry you’re infringing. This is the time to say yes, even when it feels hard. Doing so will remind you that you have a crew backing you up.


You will figure out a schedule.

Motherhood has a tendency of ruining all illusions of control. You may not want to hear this, but don’t rush figuring out a schedule. Take some time. Notice what your child naturally does. Give yourself a whole lot of grace before trying to come up with a plan for you and your new babe. The schedule will come. I promise.

Your child will sleep through the night.

This statement can be hard to hear because sometimes you don’t want to be reminded that your kid will sleep through the night... by the time he’s is a teenager. Mainly because you are four months in, your eyelids feel droopy and you would give up coffee right now if it meant a good night’s rest.

My best advice is to try not to think about it. Trust that your child will figure out how to sleep and sleep well. Take heart in the fact that if your baby isn’t sleeping, you aren’t the only one up at 2 a.m. to rock her to sleep. One day, it won’t be you.

You will feel like you again.

Start small. Grab Starbucks at the end of your errands, paint your nails during naptime or sit in your bubble bath with a good book. These choices, although small, will feel huge in reminding you of who you are. (Also, in case you were worried, one day you will totally want to have sex again. I promise!)

You will get better at it.

Changing diapers without getting poop on your hand, knowing when to call the doctor, noticing your baby’s hunger cues, recognizing your window for a trip the grocery store–these are all things you will get better at. You will learn how to be your baby’s mother as you two get to know one another. Pay attention to what works and don’t be afraid to try something new. I know it can feel like a risk, but that’s how you will learn. I promise. You will get better at it.

It’s a stage/phase.

As a new mom, you hear so many stories of babies who are born with such-and-such personality or with this-or-that tendency. Try not to be overly concerned with the current stage and fearful that it will be the last. It’s simply rarely the case. Babies are just like you and me. We all have phases of life where we tend to act certain ways, do specific activities and engage in relationships differently. Yes, babies have certain characteristics and traits that will make them more likely to be a particular way, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn just like we do. Take a deep breath. Keep your focus on today. This is just a stage.

You are doing enough.

With each new month of your baby’s life, there’s one more development stage, weird rash or question about parenting that you won’t fully see coming. Trust me when I say that you are doing enough. Part of motherhood is realizing that you are enough for your child. That doesn’t mean you won’t wait too long one time (or more) to take your kiddo to Urgent Care, thinking that it was teething when it was an ear infection. You aren’t a bad mom. You won’t have all the answers, but having some really is enough as you learn and grow as a mama.

It keeps getting better.

Every time your baby outgrows his clothes or becomes more independent, a little part of you cries because you understand the inevitable changes that are coming. But there are so many joys that coming alongside those changes. Try to trust me here. Each age has so many treasures that you’ll discover as you meet different parts of your little one who can slowly tell you more about herself and how she views the world. We can all agree that each new stage has its challenges, but don’t miss that watching your baby get bigger is also really fun! The first time your son or daughter reaches out to you by choice or says “I love you,” you are going to be so grateful for all the growth leading up until that point. The changes are worth it.

Mama, if I was there, I’d pass you a tissue, reheat your coffee and tell you how much you are rocking out motherhood. Even on the days it doesn’t feel like it, you are. Keep showing up. I promise you've got this.

In This Article

    These are only the vitamins I give my children and here's why

    It's hard to say who loves these more—my kids or me.

    When I became a mama five years ago, I didn't put too much thought into whether my son was getting the right vitamins and minerals. From breastfeeding to steaming and pureeing his first bites of solid food, I was confident I was giving him everything to support his growth and development.

    But then the toddler years—and the suddenly picky palate that accompanied them—came along. Between that challenge and two additional children in the mix… well, I knew my oldest son's eating plan was falling short in some vitamin and mineral categories.

    I also knew how quickly he was growing, so I wanted to make sure he was getting the nutrients he needed (even on those days when he said "no, thank you" to any veggie I offered).

    So when I discovered the new line of children's supplements from Nature's Way®, it felt like a serious weight off my chest. Thanks to supplements that support my children's musculoskeletal growth, their brain function, their immune systems, their eyes and more, I'm taken back to that simpler time when I was so confident my kids' vitamin needs were met.*

    It wasn't just the variety of supplements offered by Nature's Way that won me over: As a vegetarian mama, I'm the picky one in the family when it comes to scanning labels and making sure they meet our standards. The trick is that most gummy vitamins are made with gelatin, which is not vegetarian friendly.

    But just like the other offerings from Nature's Way that I've already come to know and love, the children's supplement line is held to a high standard. That means there's no high-fructose corn syrup, gelatin or common allergens to be found in the supplements. The best part? My two oldest kids ensure we never miss their daily vitamins—they are so in love with the gummy flavors, which include tropical fruit punch, lemonade and wild berry.

    Nature's Way Kids Mulitvitamin

    Meanwhile, my pharmacist husband has different criteria when evaluating supplements, especially when it comes to those for our kids. He appreciates the variety of options from Nature's Way, which gives us the ability to rotate the vitamins based on our kids' daily needs. By keeping various children's supplements from Nature's Way on hand, I can customize a regimen to suit my kids' individual requirements.

    Of course, high-quality products often come at a higher price point. But (to my immense gratitude!) that isn't the case with Nature's Way, which retails for a competitive value when compared to the other items on the shelf.

    Like all mamas, my chief concern is supporting my children's health in any way I can. While I see evidence of their growth every time I pack away clothes they've outgrown, I know there is much more growth that doesn't meet the eye. That's why, for my oldest son, I like stacking the Brain Builder gummy with the Growing Bones & Muscles gummy and the Happy & Healthy Multi. My 3-year-old also enjoys getting her own mix to include the Healthy Eyes gummy. And both of my older kids are quick to request the Tummy Soothe tablet when something isn't sitting right in their stomachs.* And I'll admit it: I've tried it myself and the berry blast flavor really is tasty!

    Although my current phase of motherhood may not be as "simple" as it once was, there is so much to appreciate about it—like watching my kids play and sing and create with their incredible imaginations. Along the way, I've eased up on some of my need for control, but it does help to have this range of supplements in my motherhood tool kit. So while I may not be able to convince my son to try kale, having the Nature's Way supplements on hand means I do know he's right on track.*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

    This article was sponsored by Nature's Way. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

    Our Partners

    Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

    So, what's new this week? All things maternity fashion, mama.

    Stowaway Collection Maternity: Modern maternity wear that shows off your bump.

    Finding clothes that still make you feel like yourself isn't always easy. With their premium fabrics and universally flattering cuts, we can't get enough of the maternity wardrobe essentials from Stowaway Collection maternity. Even better? Everything from the mama/daughter duo owned brand is sewn in Long Island City, NY and they source USA-made fabric whenever possible.

    Superkin: High tech, low maintenance clothing designed for mamas.

    Superkin's line of focused essentials (launched by two retail execs, Miriam Williams and Tara Henning, who worked for world-class brands like Louis Vuitton, Walmart, J.Crew and Narvar) are meticulously designed with the needs of mamas in mind. Made from luxurious, wear tested fabrics and featuring thoughtful design details, they've created a line of clothing women actually want to wear. Each piece is a welcome addition to a solid maternity capsule wardrobe, making them a worthy investment from the first trimester.

    Tellus Mater: Sophisticated, luxury maternity wear with a minimalist aesthetic.

    Founded by a former ELLE and Marie Claire beauty editor, Tellus Mater offers high-end, sophisticated maternity looks. Designed for mamas who are looking beyond the standard ruched dresses and oversize T-shirts, the considered line features classic white blouses, tailored trousers and fitted turtlenecks with a minimalist aesthetic. Their classic feel can easily carry mamas from meetings to business dinners all in one day.

    Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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    It's 2020, but for American mothers, it's still the 1950s

    Once a woman in America becomes a mother, our society transports her back in time. In an instant, generations of sexist ideas and structures descend back upon her.

    We like to think that women have come so far.

    We have our educations. Today, our education system not only allows girls to thrive, but it has enabled the first generation in history—Millennials—in which women are more highly educated than men.

    We have choice. Access to family planning has given American women life-changing control over their fertility and the decision to start a family.

    We have basic respect. Today, our marriages are built on the principle that partners are equal regardless of gender.

    We have careers. It's utterly common for a woman to return to work after having a child.


    We have acknowledgment. And our culture even declares that caregiving is essential work for both mothers and fathers.

    We have possibilities. And all of the potential our lives as women hold now gives girls the hope that anything is possible.

    But the truth is that American motherhood has the veneer of being modern, without any of the structures to support our actual lives today.

    Keep reading Show less