The moment I realized my kids had been listening all along

He said to me the words I say to him in the moments when HE needs to hear it the most. It felt serendipitous, yet completely logical, and I immediately started to feel better. The clouds began to lift. And I realized that he has been listening (whether it be subconsciously or consciously or BOTH), the whole time.

The moment I realized my kids had been listening all along

The other night, my husband was away on business, our newly renovated (and by no means finished) house was a disastrous mess, my kids were melting down over what felt like every little thing—I had a moment where I felt my whole body fill with anxiety, and... I cracked.

I admit it. I big-time, no-holds-barred, fully and completely, cracked.

I sat on the floor, looked around, and with noise and chaos enveloping my body, I placed my cloudy head in my hands and I just cried. It was bigger than a cry, really... more like a sob.

I look back at this scene and I see my kids—they are shocked into stillness. Their meltdowns immediately evaporate. The look on their little faces as they see me at my lowest point.

Jaden comes over first (Farrah soon to follow). He wraps his little arms around me and with so much empathetic sweetness, he says, "It's okay mommy. I love you. This is just how you're feeling now, but it won't last. It's okay."

WOW. He got it. He GETS IT! He said to me the words I say to him in the moments when HE needs to hear it the most. It felt serendipitous, yet completely logical, and I immediately started to feel better. The clouds began to lift. And I realized that he has been listening (whether it be subconsciously or consciously or BOTH), the whole time.

His display of pure, sweet, empathy, brought me back to reality, and with a deep love for these little beings, and a sprinkle of self-compassion, I wrapped my arms around my two favorite petite humans. It was going to be okay.

Life is a messy, complicated game. One where we are on a never-ending journey of learning how to balance all of our emotions, while figuring out how to deal with our successes, failures, highs, lows, dynamic array of relationships, our position within those relationships, transitions.

Life is perfectly imperfect, yet it seems we (our society) are always striving for an unrealistic attainment of consistent joy and happiness. It's not going to happen.

There is nothing wrong with striving for joy—this is a very innate part of our human experience. Wanting happiness is normal, but understanding that our emotions are not static, and letting go of expectations of perfection and constant bliss, gives us the freedom to be. Just as we are, in each and every moment, to just be. And with this, comes a natural ability to show ourselves the compassion we would show to a friend, a child or a spouse.

And I realized that, just as my children are learning how to empathize and show compassion toward others by watching me and how I display these acts of kindness, they are surely also learning the art of self-compassion simply by being exposed to how I use it in situations like this.

Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor Human Development and Culture, Educational Psychology Department, University of Texas at Austin, and founder of, says, "having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others. Think about what the experience of compassion feels like. First, to have compassion for others you must notice that they are suffering. If you ignore that homeless person on the street, you can't feel compassion for how difficult his or her experience is. Second, compassion involves feeling moved by others' suffering so that your heart responds to their pain (the word compassion literally means to 'suffer with'). When this occurs, you feel warmth, caring and the desire to help the suffering person in some way."

She goes on to say, "instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings—after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?"

So back to the scene of us huddled together, tears drying up, I was mindful of my words, as I spoke to my children:

"Thank you for this. Your compassion and empathy makes me feel so good. And I know that this is just a moment in time. Sometimes we feel happy and sometimes we feel sad, and this is all a normal part of life. I honor and accept my feelings, just as they are... and you know what? I feel better already. Thank you, and I love you."

I started to learn the power of self-compassion when I began my personal development journey years ago. In allowing ourselves to just be, and not labeling our emotions, successes or failures as 'good' or 'bad', and honoring all of our feelings, is the most empowering life hack I have ever realized. And in being true to myself and showering myself with self-compassion when I need it, I hope for my children to learn from my example and have this skill at their fingertips early in life.

Originally posted on Love Powered Co.

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Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Tenth & Pine: Gender-neutral and butter-soft basics for littles + bigs

In 2016, after a stage four endometriosis diagnosis and a 10 year battle with infertility, Tenth & Pine founder Kerynn got her miracle baby, Ezra Jade. As a SAHM with a Masters in Business, she wanted to create a brand that focused on premium quality, function, comfort, and simplicity.

She sought out premium, all natural fabrics and factories that shared her core values, practicing environmentally friendly manufacturing methods with fair and safe working conditions for employees. As a result, her made in the USA, gender-neutral designs check all the boxes. The sustainable, organic basics are perfect for everyday wear, family photos and any adventure in between.

Lucy Lue Organics: Sustainably and ethically-produced modern baby clothes

This family-owned and operated business was started by a mama who wanted out of corporate America after the birth of her son. Thoughtfully designed to mix-and-match, Lucy Lue's sustainably and ethically produced collection of modern organic baby clothes only uses fabrics that are "environmentally friendly from seed to seam." Their gorgeous, earthy tones and comfy, minimalist styles make the perfect addition to first wardrobes from birth through the first years.

Sontakey: Simple bracelets that speak your mind

Sontakey has been such a hit in the Motherly Shop that we knew it was time to expand the line. And since these beautiful mantra bands look so stunning stacked, more options = more fun.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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Time-saving formula tips our editors swear by

Less time making bottles, more time snuggling.

As a new parent, it can feel like feeding your baby is a full-time job—with a very demanding nightshift. Add in the additional steps it takes to prepare a bottle of formula and, well… we don't blame you if you're eager to save some time when you can. After all, that means more time for snuggling your baby or practicing your own well-deserved self-care.

Here's the upside: Many, many formula-feeding mamas before you have experienced the same thing, and they've developed some excellent tricks that can help you mix up a bottle in record time. Here are the best time-saving formula tips from editors here at Motherly.

1. Use room temperature water

The top suggestion that came up time and time again was to introduce bottles with room temperature water from the beginning. That way, you can make a bottle whenever you need it without worrying about warming up water—which is a total lifesaver when you have to make a bottle on the go or in the middle of the night.

2. Buy online to save shopping time

You'll need a lot of formula throughout the first year and beyond—so finding a brand like Comforts, which offers high-quality infant formula at lower prices, will help you save a substantial amount of money. Not to mention, you can order online or find the formula on shelves during your standard shopping trip—and that'll save you so much time and effort as well.

3. Pre-measure nighttime bottles

The middle of the night is the last time you'll want to spend precious minutes mixing up a bottle. Instead, our editors suggest measuring out the correct amount of powder formula into a bottle and putting the necessary portion of water on your bedside table. That way, all you have to do is roll over and combine the water and formula in the bottle before feeding your baby. Sounds so much better than hiking all the way to the kitchen and back at 3 am, right?

4. Divide serving sizes for outings

Before leaving the house with your baby, divvy up any portions of formula and water that you may need during your outing. Then, when your baby is hungry, just combine the pre-measured water and powder serving in the bottle. Our editors confirm this is much easier than trying to portion out the right amount of water or formula while riding in the car.

5. Memorize the mental math

Soon enough, you'll be able to prepare a bottle in your sleep. But, especially in the beginning or when increasing your baby's serving, the mental math can take a bit of time. If #mombrain makes it tough to commit the measurements to memory, write up a cheat sheet for yourself or anyone else who will prepare your baby's bottle.

6. Warm up chilled formula with water

If you're the savvy kind of mom who prepares and refrigerates bottles for the day in advance, you'll probably want to bring it up to room temperature before serving. Rather than purchase a bottle warmer, our editors say the old-fashioned method works incredibly well: Just plunge the sealed bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes and—voila!—it's ready to serve.

Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Chrissy Teigen/Instagram

When Chrissy Teigen announced her third pregnancy earlier this year we were so happy for her and now our hearts are with her as she is going through a pain that is unimaginable for many, but one that so many other mothers know.

Halfway through a high-risk pregnancy complicated by placenta issues, Teigen announced late Wednesday that she has suffered a pregnancy loss.

Our deepest condolences go out to Chrissy and her husband, John Legend (who has been by her side in the hospital for several days now).

In a social media post, Teigen explained she named this baby Jack.


"We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough," she wrote.

She continued: "We never decide on our babies' names until the last possible moment after they're born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever."

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