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A thank you letter to my friends without kids

In the midst of raising kids, talking about kids, and being with others who have kids, a lot of parents overlook just how much love and support you pour into us.

A thank you letter to my friends without kids

Dear friends without kids,

There's something I need to say to you. It's long overdue, but pretty simple: thank you.

In the midst of raising kids, talking about kids, and being with others who have kids, a lot of parents overlook just how much love and support you pour into us. There are thousands upon thousands of articles, blogs, and publications that praise the hard work of parents, but there is not enough acknowledgement of the role you play in forming the village it takes to raise a child.

Here are just a few reasons why parents could not do their job without you:

1. You remind us we are more than just parents

Perhaps our friendship started in the B.C.E (Before Children Era). Maybe we met in a realm within the parenting world. Regardless of its origin, our relationship began because something about our unique interests and personalities clicked. Not only did they click, they've gotten better with time. Our bond has superseded a major identity difference, and our friendship is stronger for it.

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In the midst of potty training and sleep deprivation, you still see in us people whose thoughts, hopes, and aspirations are worthwhile. Please know that we desperately need that reminder. It gives us hope when times get tough and provides perspective when we become blind sighted. And this makes us better parents.

2. You show fresh awe and wonder

You're likely not spending your time familiarizing yourself with infant milestones and anecdotes of epic toddler meltdowns. The charm in seeing you interact with our children is that you're so often amazed by the things we take for granted.

You revel in their quirks and are enthusiastic about how hard they work to learn and grow. When you play with our children, we see with fresh eyes just how awesome and wonderful they really are. Even when they're not perfect, you often find humor when we're tempted to quietly die from embarrassment.

3. You acknowledge that parenting is HARD

You have no desire to haze us with tales of how it's “only going to get harder." You are not trying to hold us to the overwhelming standard of parenting perfection. You are living your life, while at the same time able to tell us that what we are doing is hard. Really hard.

We cannot tell you how grateful we are to hear our struggles legitimized. In a world that loves self-promotion, you selflessly take time to commend the job we are doing in raising our children.

4. You allow us to sleep better at night

Every parent wants their child to live in a safe and secure world. Our hope is that the little humans we are raising will grow up surrounded by people who support and encourage them. When we close our eyes at night (whether the kids permit it for eight hours or 15 minutes), we have more hope in the attainment of that world because of you.

Maybe it's because you remind us that differences can make relationships stronger. Perhaps it's because you chose to support people without expecting anything in return. It could even be the memory of that extra tender “good-bye" you said to our children, knowing better than anyone just how much they change from one meeting to the next.

For all these reasons and more, thank you.

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My first baby and I were alone in our Brooklyn apartment during a particularly cold spring with yet another day of no plans. My husband was back at work after a mere three weeks of parental leave (what a joke!) and all my friends were busy with their childless lives—which kept them too busy to stop by or check in (making me, at times, feel jealous).

It was another day in which I would wait for baby to fall asleep for nap number one so I could shower and get ready to attempt to get out of the house together to do something, anything really, so I wouldn't feel the walls of the apartment close in on me by the time the second nap rolled around. I would pack all the diapers and toys and pacifiers and pump and bottles into a ginormous stroller that was already too heavy to push without a baby in it .

Then I would spend so much time figuring out where we could go with said stroller, because I wanted to avoid places with steps or narrow doors (I couldn't lift the stroller by myself and I was too embarrassed to ask strangers for help—also hi, New Yorkers, please help new moms when you see them huffing and puffing up the subway stairs, okay?). Then I would obsess about the weather, was it too cold to bring the baby out? And by the time I thought I had our adventure planned, the baby would wake up, I would still be in my PJs and it was time to pump yet again.

Slowly, but surely, and mostly thanks to sleep deprivation and isolation, I began to detest this whole new mom life. I've always been a social butterfly. I moved to New York because I craved that non-stop energy the city has and in the years before having my baby I amassed new friends I made through my daily adventures. I would never stop. I would walk everywhere just to take in the scenery and was always on the move.

Now I had this ball and chain attached to me, I thought, that didn't even allow me to make it out of the door to walk the dog. This sucks, I would think regularly, followed by maybe I'm not meant to be a mom after all.


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There is rightfully a lot of emphasis on preparing for the arrival of a new baby. The clothes! The nursery furniture! The gear! But, the thing about a baby registry is, well, your kids will keep on growing. Before you know it, they'll have new needs—and you'll probably have to foot the bill for the products yourself.

Thankfully, you don't have to break the bank when shopping for toddler products. Here are our favorite high-quality, budget-friendly finds to help with everything from meal time to bath time for the toddler set.

Comforts Fruit Crisps Variety Pack

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If there is one thing to know about toddlers, it is this: They love snacks. Keeping a variety on hand is easy when the pack already comes that way! Plus, we sure do appreciate that freeze-dried fruit is a healthier alternative to fruit snacks.

Comforts Electrolyte Drink

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Between running (or toddling!) around all day and potentially developing a pickier palate, many toddlers can use a bit of extra help with replenishing their electrolytes—especially after they've experienced a tummy bug. We suggest keeping an electrolyte drink on hand.

Comforts Training Pants

Comforts training pants

When the time comes to start potty training, it sure helps to have some training pants on hand. If they didn't make it to the potty in time, these can help them learn their body's cues.

Comforts Nite Pants

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Even when your toddler gets the hang of using the toilet during the day, nighttime training typically takes several months longer than day-time training. In the meantime, nite pants will still help them feel like the growing, big kid they are.

Comforts Baby Lotion

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Running, jumping, playing in sand, splashing in water—the daily life of a toddler can definitely irritate their skin! Help put a protective barrier between their delicate skin and the things they come into contact with every day with nourishing lotion.

Another great tip? Shopping the Comforts line on Comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices—and follow along on social media to see product releases and news at @comfortsforbaby.

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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The New York Times reports President Trump is choosing Judge Amy Coney Barrett as his nominee. An official statement is scheduled for Saturday.

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