Motherhood overwhelmed me—and my marriage

It’s not a fairy tale, and this isn’t the end, but it feels pretty happy after all.

Motherhood overwhelmed me—and my marriage

There are two times in my marriage that I fell out of love with my husband.

The first was about two and a half years in. The honeymoon shine had officially worn off, and suddenly the pangs of marrying so young and with so much growing up left to do were too stark and painful to ignore.

I’ll always remember that feeling of falling out of love as tumultuous. It was riddled with anger and disenchantment and doubt—so much doubt—that we would make it through this.

But it’s also when I learned to listen. When I learned to reflect. When we grew up together and did make it through.


We called them the “dark times.” And we promised it would never, ever happen again.

And then we had our first baby.

The effect on our marriage wasn’t immediate, but the tiny wedges and cracks that developed during the hard moments of parenting took their toll, gradually expanding into huge voids where I felt completely disconnected from my husband.

Whereas the first bout of falling out of love felt juvenile in my mind, the work of two immature kids who needed to just grow up a bit, this second round felt markedly different. It felt angrier. It felt lonelier. It felt like—maybe—it might never end.

I felt overwhelmed by this all-consuming new role of motherhood while I perceived my husband carrying on like nothing had changed. His life appeared to have remained utterly unaffected by our family’s new addition, which boggled my struggling, sleep-deprived mind.

Things continued to fester for months until one day, I had a revelation: While I was consumed with my own drowning and my growing resentment for this man who didn’t seem to notice, I was doing nothing to build up my marriage.

I realized I had failed as a wife. I had failed to keep my husband and our relationship first, so consumed I was with giving our baby everything I had.

“It shouldn’t matter,” I would tell myself scornfully. “I’m doing everything for us. I’m still working for us. When I get up three times a night with the baby, it’s for us. It’s his problem if he doesn’t see it that way.”

But as much as I tried to deny it, it was impossible to ignore the fact that any problem with our family—any problem with our marriage—was very much my problem, too.

And so I finally started speaking up. I voiced my exhaustion, my resentment, my crushing mental load. And I was astounded to hear that he had been floundering too, uncertain how to balance the husband I craved with the father our daughter needed.

We both resolved to try harder, to be the team we had always intended to be.

We still struggled. We still fought on occasion. But slowly—sometimes so slowly you couldn’t even notice—things got better.

We grew up and grew together in ways I never could have predicted in the depths of those dark times. In ways I never could have imagined even on our best day.

We had fallen out of love, but when we grew back together, it was with a weathered strength that left us better equipped to handle whatever life (and the terrible twos!) could throw at us.

I left this second round of “dark times” differently than I had the first. I wasn’t so naïve as to think the dark days couldn’t roll around again, but I felt a newfound confidence that they couldn’t affect us quite as harshly.

Yes, there would be (hopefully!) more children in our future, and with them would come new changes and new challenges. But the lessons we learned from falling out of love were the kind I felt confident would carry us through.

When I look at my husband now, the man and father he has become and the incredible support he provides our family, I’m so, so grateful I didn’t give in to the dark days. That I let us fall back in love and become the couple we are today.

It’s not a fairy tale, and this isn’t the end, but it feels pretty happy after all.

These are only the vitamins I give my children and here's why

It's hard to say who loves these more—my kids or me.

When I became a mama five years ago, I didn't put too much thought into whether my son was getting the right vitamins and minerals. From breastfeeding to steaming and pureeing his first bites of solid food, I was confident I was giving him everything to support his growth and development.

But then the toddler years—and the suddenly picky palate that accompanied them—came along. Between that challenge and two additional children in the mix… well, I knew my oldest son's eating plan was falling short in some vitamin and mineral categories.

I also knew how quickly he was growing, so I wanted to make sure he was getting the nutrients he needed (even on those days when he said "no, thank you" to any veggie I offered).

So when I discovered the new line of children's supplements from Nature's Way®, it felt like a serious weight off my chest. Thanks to supplements that support my children's musculoskeletal growth, their brain function, their immune systems, their eyes and more, I'm taken back to that simpler time when I was so confident my kids' vitamin needs were met.*

It wasn't just the variety of supplements offered by Nature's Way that won me over: As a vegetarian mama, I'm the picky one in the family when it comes to scanning labels and making sure they meet our standards. The trick is that most gummy vitamins are made with gelatin, which is not vegetarian friendly.

But just like the other offerings from Nature's Way that I've already come to know and love, the children's supplement line is held to a high standard. That means there's no high-fructose corn syrup, gelatin or common allergens to be found in the supplements. The best part? My two oldest kids ensure we never miss their daily vitamins—they are so in love with the gummy flavors, which include tropical fruit punch, lemonade and wild berry.

Nature's Way Kids Mulitvitamin

Meanwhile, my pharmacist husband has different criteria when evaluating supplements, especially when it comes to those for our kids. He appreciates the variety of options from Nature's Way, which gives us the ability to rotate the vitamins based on our kids' daily needs. By keeping various children's supplements from Nature's Way on hand, I can customize a regimen to suit my kids' individual requirements.

Of course, high-quality products often come at a higher price point. But (to my immense gratitude!) that isn't the case with Nature's Way, which retails for a competitive value when compared to the other items on the shelf.

Like all mamas, my chief concern is supporting my children's health in any way I can. While I see evidence of their growth every time I pack away clothes they've outgrown, I know there is much more growth that doesn't meet the eye. That's why, for my oldest son, I like stacking the Brain Builder gummy with the Growing Bones & Muscles gummy and the Happy & Healthy Multi. My 3-year-old also enjoys getting her own mix to include the Healthy Eyes gummy. And both of my older kids are quick to request the Tummy Soothe tablet when something isn't sitting right in their stomachs.* And I'll admit it: I've tried it myself and the berry blast flavor really is tasty!

Although my current phase of motherhood may not be as "simple" as it once was, there is so much to appreciate about it—like watching my kids play and sing and create with their incredible imaginations. Along the way, I've eased up on some of my need for control, but it does help to have this range of supplements in my motherhood tool kit. So while I may not be able to convince my son to try kale, having the Nature's Way supplements on hand means I do know he's right on track.*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

This article was sponsored by Nature's Way. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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