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Dear husband: I know you hate your job—but you will find your purpose

You worked so hard. You did things you didn't want to do for the sake of love. You showed up every day and you wore down your body doing labor that wasn't fun for you. You took care of us and we are so grateful for you. Thank you for showing our kids what it looks like to work hard at things for your family.

Dear husband: I know you hate your job—but you will find your purpose

[Editor's note: This essay is written from a woman to her husband. While this is one example of one type of relationship, we understand, appreciate and celebrate that relationships come in all forms and configurations.]

Dear husband,

I see the tension in your eyes and your shoulders when you walk through the door from a job you don't enjoy. You grab the kids and wrestle them as they gather around you like a gang of seagulls hungry for your attention. "Dad, dad, dad!" the little one says while the big one tells you a story neither of us can follow.

"Hey babe," I say, and we exchange an understanding glance. You are tired; you are discouraged; and you are wondering why you can't seem to find "the thing" that makes you come alive. Since you were a boy you've dreamed of "the thing;" when you were in high school you were full of hope for "the thing;" in your twenties you wondered why you hadn't found "the thing." Now you're in your thirties and you're tired.

We are both tired.

Every year that has gone by that you haven't found your dream job, your purpose, or your calling. You've made mental checks like roman numerals.

I know this road has felt long and hard, but babe, I want you to know something:

You have done well. You don't see it; you only see what you haven't done. You see your dreams like illusions that you can never seem to reach. Every year that goes by feels like another year you "didn't."

But, babe, YOU DID.

This year, you were a father—you were an amazing father. Our kids know you really see them and they know you believe in them. They know you love them beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know you wish you gave them more, and that you weren't ever impatient or stressed, but babe we all get that way. You are a good dad, a really good dad.

This year you were a husband. You were my husband and I wouldn't choose any other husband on the planet. You are my partner and my best friend and I love doing life with you. You always make me feel stronger and more powerful and more beautiful. I am better because of you.

This year you were a provider. You worked so hard. You did things you didn't want to do for the sake of love. You showed up every day and you wore down your body doing labor that wasn't fun for you. You took care of us and we are so grateful for you. Thank you for showing our kids what it looks like to work hard at things for your family.

This year you were a dreamer. You are a dreamer, and that will teach our kids to dream too. You listened to podcasts and you studied late at night. You haven't given up on finding your passion, and I'm proud of you for that.

This year you were an inspiration because you never gave up. Even when you were tired, even when you were discouraged, you kept dreaming and wrestling and trying things.

And you will find your thing, I'm sure of it. I believe it with my whole heart.

I'll be with you while you wait.

And until then, don't forget that we're your thing, too. Even if you get to the end of your life and you never found your dream job or your life's work, we are your thing. We are your greatest fans, and you are so good at belonging to us.

Love,

Your wife

Originally posted on WonderOak.

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These are the best bath time products you can get for under $20

These budget-friendly products really make a splash.

With babies and toddlers, bath time is about so much more than washing off: It's an opportunity for fun, sensory play and sweet bonding moments—with the added benefit of a cuddly, clean baby afterward.

Because bathing your baby is part business, part playtime, you're going to want products that can help with both of those activities. After countless bath times, here are the products that our editors think really make a splash. (Better yet, each item is less than $20!)

Comforts Bath Wash & Shampoo

Comforts Baby Wash & Shampoo

Made with oat extract, this bath wash and shampoo combo is designed to leave delicate skin cleansed and nourished. You and your baby will both appreciate the tear-free formula—so you can really focus on the bath time fun.

Munckin Soft Spot Bath Mat

Munchkin slip mat

When your little one is splish-splashing in the bath, help keep them from also sliding around with a soft, anti-slip bath mat. With strong suction cups to keep it in place and extra cushion to make bath time even more comfortable for your little one, this is an essential in our books.

Comforts Baby Lotion

Comforts baby lotion

For most of us, the bath time ritual continues when your baby is out of the tub when you want to moisturize their freshly cleaned skin. We look for lotions that are hypoallergenic, nourishing and designed to protect their skin.

The First Years Stack Up Cups

First year stack cups

When it comes to bath toys, nothing beats the classic set of stackable cups: Sort them by size, practice pouring water, pile them high—your little one will have fun with these every single bath time.

Comforts Baby Oil

Comforts baby oil

For dry skin that needs a little extra TLC, our team loves Comforts' fast-absorbing baby oil aloe vera and vitamin E. Pro tip: When applied right after drying off your baby, the absorption is even more effective.

KidCo Bath Toy Organizer

KidCo Bath Organizer

Between bathing supplies, wash rags, toys and more, the tub sure can get crowded in a hurry. We like that this organizer gives your little one space to play and bathe while still keeping everything you need within reach.

Another great tip? Shopping the Comforts line on Comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices—and follow along on social media to see product releases and news at @comfortsforbaby.

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Our Partners

I never wanted to be a mom. It wasn't something I ever thought would happen until I fell madly in love with my husband—who knew very well he wanted children. While he was a natural at entertaining our nephews or our friends' kids, I would awkwardly try to interact with them, not really knowing what to say or do.

Our first pregnancy was a surprise, a much-wanted one but also a unicorn, "first try" kind of pregnancy. As my belly grew bigger, so did my insecurities. How do you even mom when you never saw motherhood in your future? I focused all my uncertainties on coming up with a plan for the delivery of my baby—which proved to be a terrible idea when my dreamed-of unmedicated vaginal birth turned into an emergency C-section. I couldn't even start motherhood the way I wanted, I thought. And that feeling happened again when I couldn't breastfeed and instead had to pump and bottle-feed. And once more, when all the stress from things not going my way turned into debilitating postpartum anxiety that left me not really enjoying my brand new baby.

As my baby grew, slowly so did my confidence that I could do this. When he would tumble to the ground while learning how to walk and only my hugs could calm him, I felt invincible. But on the nights he wouldn't sleep—whether because he was going through a regression, a leap, a teeth eruption or just a full moon—I would break down in tears to my husband telling him that he was a better parent than me.

Then I found out I was pregnant again, and that this time it was twins. I panicked. I really cannot do two babies at the same time. I kept repeating that to myself (and to my poor husband) at every single appointment we had because I was just terrified. He, of course, thought I could absolutely do it, and he got me through a very hard pregnancy.

When the twins were born at full term and just as big as singleton babies, I still felt inadequate, despite the monumental effort I had made to grow these healthy babies and go through a repeat C-section to make sure they were both okay. I still felt my skin crawl when they cried and thought, What if I can't calm them down? I still turned to my husband for diaper changes because I wasn't a good enough mom for twins.

My husband reminded me (and still does) that I am exactly what my babies need. That I am enough. A phrase that has now become my mantra, both in motherhood and beyond, because as my husband likes to say, I'm the queen of selling myself short on everything.

So when my babies start crying, I tell myself that I am enough to calm them down.

When my toddler has a tantrum, I remind myself that I am enough to get through to him.

When I go out with the three kids by myself and start sweating about everything that could go wrong (poop explosions times three), I remind myself that I am enough to handle it all, even with a little humor.


And then one day I found this bracelet. Initially, I thought how cheesy it'd be to wear a reminder like this on my wrist, but I bought it anyway because something about it was calling my name. I'm so glad I did because since day one I haven't stopped wearing it.

Every time I look down, there it is, shining back at me. I am enough.

I Am Enough bracelet 

SONTAKEY  I Am Enough Bracelet

May this Oath Bracelet be your reminder that you are perfect just the way you are. That you are enough for your children, you are enough for your friends & family, you are enough for everything that you do. You are enough, mama <3

$35

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

Life

Becoming a mother has been life-changing. It's been hard, tiring, gratifying, beautiful, challenging, scary and a thousand other things that only a parent would ever understand.

It is these life-changing experiences that have inspired me to draw my everyday life as a stay at home mom. Whether it's the mundane tasks like doing laundry or the exciting moments of James', my baby boy's, first steps, I want to put it down on paper so that I can better cherish these fleeting moments that are often overlooked.

Being a stay-at-home-mom can be incredibly lonely. I like to think that by drawing life's simple moments, I can connect with other mothers and help them feel less alone. By doing this, I feel less alone, too. It's a win-win situation and I have been able to connect with many lovely parents and fellow parent-illustrators through my Instagram account.

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