Menu

Do you and your husband share the same love language?

The 5 love languages are: physical touch, words of affection, quality time, gift giving, and acts of service. Which one is yours?

Do you and your husband share the same love language?

Somewhere between birth and age fifteen, some societal stereotype or little voice in my ear lead me to believe that I would magically meet the one, get married, buy a house, land the perfect job, maybe even have kids, and then live happily ever after.


Of course, this would include occasionally jetting off on little beachside holidays and frequent dinners out—with our beautiful children peacefully, happily playing along, always immaculately presented, smiling and without tantrums. Haha. ?

Then I had kids and realized not only had we done things the hard way, but even doing things the easy way would never be trouble-free.

Marriage is hard work.

I mean, I love my husband and can honestly say I wouldn't wish to spend my life with anyone else—but he does some things that absolutely drive me insane (as I'm sure I do to him), and each and every day I make a decision to either badger on about his downfalls, or push them aside and focus on the positives.

Every day I make a decision to parent and live in line with our common values, or to habitually put my own desires first. Some days are so much harder to do this, and it would be so much easier to focus only on my desires and values. After all, I’m only human, and marriage is hard.

But most days it is so worth the extra effort to love and live with him.

I've spent years having a coffee made when my husband wakes, making his lunches, and having dinner on the table when he gets home. I’ve cooked and cleaned, thinking that this is what would make him happy, that these tasks are what would fill his love tank.

Similarly, my husband has spent years working day in and day out for our family, buying me expensive, unnecessary gifts and organizing dinners to lavish restaurants, thinking that these are the things that would fill my love tank.

Eventually I became resentful because he wasn't doing what I wanted or needed him to do to fill my tank—at this point, I wasn’t even acknowledging his efforts.

And then I realized...

I had never told him how I needed to be loved.

I had never mentioned that words of appreciation, words of love and words of gratitude spoke louder to my soul than childfree dinners at overly priced restaurants.

I never mentioned that I didn’t care whether I received a $300 bracelet or a $3 scratchie, I'd just love a heartfelt card with it.

I never told him that my love language was words of affirmation, and so he didn't know. He was trying to make me happy, but it was like filling a vehicle with unleaded when it needed diesel—it was doing more harm than good.

After reading The Five Love Languages, I realized that we had different love languages. My husband had been loving me the way he wanted to be loved, not how I felt loved.

And I hadn't told him otherwise. Instead, I just built resentment.

I've since told him, and he's trying. As a man of few words and even fewer emotions, it seems ironic that my love language is probably the hardest for him to do. And yet, he's trying, because now he knows that is what fills my love tank.

Similarly, I’m trying harder to give him more quality time, his love language, by focusing solely on him, not multitasking, not getting sidetracked, just soaking up his presence and our love.

PS. This doesn't mean I'm giving up child-free dinners—I mean, those are the best opportunities to speak words of affirmation!

10 must-have registry items that will change your life, mama

The baby gear heavy hitters that should be top of your list

Calling all mamas-to-be! It's a fundamental truth of (impending) motherhood that your prepping-for-baby To Do list can feel a mile long, but really the best way to feel organized is to sort out the most important item at the top of your list: your registry. Sure the items you choose to include will end up running the gamut from nice-to-haves to absolutely essential game-changers, but mamas in the know quickly learn one thing: Not all baby gear is created equal.

So while you can and should pepper your registry with adorable inclusions that aren't necessarily can't-live-withouts (go ahead, add 'em!), you should make sure you're ticking the boxes on those pieces of baby gear that can be absolute life savers once you're in full-blown mama mode. From car seats to bouncers and playmats, your play and travel gear will be some of the most obvious important items on your list, but so can unexpected things, like a super comfy baby carrier and a snooze-inducing white noise machine. So to help you sort through the must-have options, we turned to the holy grail of motherhood that is buybuy BABY and handpicked 10 of the very best essential pieces that will change your life, we promise.

Keep reading Show less
Our Partners

Sorry, you can’t meet our baby yet

Thank you for understanding. ❤️

In just over three weeks, we will become parents. From then on, our hearts will live outside of our bodies. We will finally understand what everyone tells you about bringing a child into the world.

Lately, the range of emotions and hormones has left me feeling nothing short of my new favorite mom word, "hormotional." I'm sure that's normal though, and something most people start to feel as everything suddenly becomes real.

Our bags are mostly packed, diaper bag ready, and birth plan in place. Now it's essentially a waiting game. We're finishing up our online childbirth classes which I must say are quite informational and sometimes entertaining. But in between the waiting and the classes, we've had to think about how we're going to handle life after baby's birth.

I don't mean thinking and planning about the lack of sleep, feeding schedule, or just the overall changes a new baby is going to bring. I'm talking about how we're going to handle excited family members and friends who've waited just as long as we have to meet our child. That sentence sounds so bizarre, right? How we're going to handle family and friends? That sentence shouldn't even have to exist.

Keep reading Show less
Life

Talking to kids can come so easily. They have thoughts about everything and stories for miles. They see the world in a completely different light, and could ask enough questions to fill an afternoon.

But sometimes finding the right words for talking to kids can be really, really challenging. When choosing how to respond to the marker on the wall, or the seemingly unending why-can't-I battle, or in simply keeping healthy communication open with kids who don't want to talk, the words don't seem to come so easily.

Keep reading Show less
Learn + Play