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Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to run out.


(I’ll come back, I promise!)

Because it’s been a tough day. A mentally, physically, emotionally tough day of juggling kid stuff, house stuff, job stuff...stuff that I don’t even really realize I am juggling. The invisible tasks like—making a list of things we need to restock in the house, ordering new undershirts for our daughter, weeding through the clothes the kids have grown out of, cleaning up messes that I know will be replaced in seconds...

Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to collapse in your arms and cry.

Because I feel like I’m failing. Like it’s too much. Like I’m overwhelmed. And I need you to tell me that I’m not failing, that this life we live is beautiful and worth it, and that I’m an amazing mother. (If you also wanted to tell me that I’m pretty and look great in your sweatpants...you know I’ll take it.)

Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to be held by you for the rest of the night, in my safe space.

Because I feel like I’ve done it all, seen it all, and have been it all for everyone today. I can’t deal with another poop diaper, another request, another fight over the very random McDonald’s emoji toy we got months ago from a Happy Meal.

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Some days—when you walk through the door I want to “prove” all the things I’ve gotten done today. Without any prompting, even. I just want to spew out the fact that I vacuumed, did dishes, cleaned, did laundry. I want you to understand that I am trying and I need you to recognize my effort, even when it seems invisible.

Because I know it looks like I have never cleaned this house, but I’ve actually been picking up all day.

Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to quietly retreat to our room to have time to myself while you deal with bath time and dirty dishes and bedtime.

Because I didn’t have any time to myself today. At all. Not even while using the bathroom. No one napped. Both children needed lots of things (as they do)—more water, a new shirt because the other one got wet, a different princess dress, help with this puzzle, more snacks please, help putting shoes on, help brushing teeth, getting in/out of the car, getting the paints out, etc. And dinner needed to be cooked, the very full sink needed to be emptied, the Cheerios on the rug needed to be vacuumed, I needed to get work done.

Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to hop in the shower and stay there for a long while.

I want to enjoy peace and quiet and the feeling of cleanliness.

Because I skipped a shower today because it kept falling to the bottom of my to-do list. Often, my self-care “to-do” items do, unfortunately.

Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to chat about everything. To brain dump all my ideas, my challenges from the day, my funny anecdotes.

Because I haven’t held many other adult conversations today, TBH. And I love conversing with you and hearing about your day and telling you about mine. I want to connect with you, laugh with you, be seen by you.

But, some days—when you walk through the door, I want the noise to stop. I want to sit in silence. I don’t feel like chatting.

Because I’ve heard “Mommy! Mama! Mommy!” all day today. I’ve dropped what I was doing to run to our crying daughter. I’ve sang every song from Moana (many times...Make way! Make way!), and I’ve tried to reason with toddlers who want to take their clothes off at the park, who want to eat cookies for lunch and who insist on chugging my iced-coffee the second I put it down...among many other fairly unreasonable requests.

Some days—when you walk through the door, I want to go to sleep. I want to say, “Nice to see you!” and then swan dive into our bed.

Because it’s been a draining day. I am tapped out of everything I have, and I have nothing left to give. My cup is empty.

My love—

You work so hard for us. You’re an amazing father. An incredible man.

You leave for work before we even get out of bed. Your commute is over three hours a day and you miss us while you’re gone. You go to lots of meetings and your brain is working working working all day long. You worry about our budget and research what kind of car we should buy. You do the taxes and take the trash out. You remember to get awesome things like a surprise t-ball set for the kids, you order a new car seat the second I complain about how I keep forgetting, you empty the dishwasher and catch up on loads and loads of laundry on the weekends.

You come home with your own to-do lists running through your head, your own feelings of frustration, and your own levels of exhaustion.

I know you’ve been working hard too, and that we’re a team sacrificing and working together.

You’re always there for me. You always try. And I always will, too.

Because no one promised us any of this would be easy. But boy, it is worth it.

So, mostly, what I want to say to you when you walk through the door is—thank you.

Thank you for creating this family, this life, with me. Thank you for really being in this with me—day in, and day out.

Because there’s no one else I’d want to do this with, than you.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

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If there's one thing you learn as a new mama, it's that routine is your friend. Routine keeps your world spinning, even when you're trucking along on less than four hours of sleep. Routine fends off tantrums by making sure bellies are always full and errands aren't run when everyone's patience is wearing thin. And routine means naps are taken when they're supposed to, helping everyone get through the day with needed breaks.

The only problem? Life doesn't always go perfectly with the routine. When my daughter was born, I realized quickly that, while her naps were the key to a successful (and nearly tear-free!) day, living my life according to her nap schedule wasn't always possible. There were groceries to fetch, dry cleaning to pick up, and―if I wanted to maintain any kind of social life―lunch dates with friends to enjoy.

Which is why the Ergobaby Metro Compact City Stroller was such a life-saver. While I loved that it was just 14 pounds (perfect for hoisting up the stairs to the subway or in the park) and folds down small enough to fit in an airplane overhead compartment (you know, when I'm brave enough to travel again!), the real genius of this pint-sized powerhouse is that it doesn't skimp on comfort.

Nearly every surface your baby touches is padded with plush cushions to provide side and lumbar support to everything from their sweet head to their tiny tush―it has 40% more padding than other compact strollers. When nap time rolls around, I could simply switch the seat to its reclined position with an adjustable leg rest to create an instant cozy nest for my little one.

There's even a large UV 50 sun canopy to throw a little shade on those sleepy eyes. And my baby wasn't the only one benefiting from the comfortable design― the Metro is the only stroller certified "back healthy" by the AGR of Germany, meaning mamas get a much-needed break too.

I also appreciate how the Metro fits comfortably into my life. The sleek profile fits through narrow store aisles as easily as it slides up to a table when I'm able to meet a pal for brunch. Plus, the spring suspension means the tires absorb any bumps along our way―helping baby stay asleep no matter where life takes us. When it's time to take my daughter out, it folds easily with one hand and has an ergonomic carry handle to travel anywhere we want to go.

Life will probably never be as predictable as I'd like, but at least with our Metro stroller, I know my child will be cradled with care no matter what crosses our path.

This article is sponsored by Ergobaby. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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It's been more than a year since Khloé Kardashian welcomed her daughter True Thompson into the world, and like a lot of new moms, Khloé didn't just learn how to to be a mom this year, she also learned how to co-parent with someone who is no longer her partner. According to the Pew Research Center, co-parenting and the likelihood that a child will spend part of their childhood living with just one parent is on the rise.

There was a ton of media attention on Khloé's relationship with True's father Tristan Thompson in her early days of motherhood, and in a new interview on the podcast "Divorce Sucks!," Khloé explained that co-parenting with someone you have a complicated relationship with isn't always easy, but when she looks at True she knows it's worth it.

"For me, Tristan and I broke up not too long ago so it's really raw," Khloé tells divorce attorney Laura Wasser on the podcast. She explains that even though it does "suck" at times, she's committed to having a good relationship with her ex because she doesn't want True to pick up on any negative energy, even at her young age.

That's why she invited Tristan to True's recent first birthday bash, even though she knew True wouldn't remember that party. "I know she's going to want to look back at all of her childhood memories like we all do," Khloé explained. "I know her dad is a great person, and I know how much he loves her and cares about her, so I want him to be there."

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We totally get why being around Tristan is hard for Khloé, but it sounds like she's approaching co-parenting with a positive attitude that will benefit True in the long run. Studies have found that shared parenting is good for kids and that former couples who have "ongoing personal and emotional involvement with their former spouse" are more likely to rate their co-parenting relationship positively.

Khloé says her relationship with Tristan right now is "civilized," and hopefully it can get even better with time. As Suzanne Hayes noted in her six guiding principles for a co-parenting relationship, there's no magic bullet for moving past the painful feelings that come when a relationship ends and into a healthy co-parenting relationship, but treating your ex with respect and (non-romantic) love is a good place to start. Hayes describes it as "human-to-human, parent-to-parent, we-share-amazing-children-and-always-will love."

It's a great place to start, and it sounds like Khloé has already figured that out.

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Kim Kardashian West welcomed her fourth child into the world. The expectancy and arrival of this boy (her second child from surrogacy) has garnered much attention.

In a surrogacy pregnancy, a woman carries a pregnancy for another family and then after giving birth she relinquishes her rights of the child.

On her website, Kim wrote that she had medical complications with her previous pregnancy leading her to this decision. “I have always been really honest about my struggles with pregnancy. Preeclampsia and placenta accreta are high-risk conditions, so when I wanted to have a third baby, doctors said that it wasn't safe for my—or the baby's—health to carry on my own."

While the experience was challenging for her, “The connection with our baby came instantly and it's as if she was with us the whole time. Having a gestational carrier was so special for us and she made our dreams of expanding our family come true. We are so excited to finally welcome home our baby girl."

A Snapchat video hinted that Kim may have planned to breastfeed her third child. What she chooses to do is of course none of our business. But is has raised the very interesting question, “Wait, can you breastfeed when you use a surrogate?"

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The answer is yes, you sure can! (And you can when you adopt a baby, too!)

When a women is pregnant, she begins a process called lactogenesis in which her body prepares itself to start making milk. This usually starts around the twenty week mark of pregnancy (half way through). Then, when the baby is born, the second phase of lactogenesis occurs, and milk actually starts to fill the breasts.

All of this occurs in response to hormones. When women do not carry a pregnancy, but wish to breastfeed, they can induce lactation, where they replicate the same hormonal process that happens during pregnancy.

A woman who wants to induce lactation can work with a doctor or midwife, and start taking the hormones estrogen and progesterone (which grow breast tissue)—often in the form of birth control pills—along with a medication called domperidone (which increases milk production).

Several weeks before the baby will be born, the woman stops taking the birth control pill but continues to take the domperidone to simulate the hormonal changes that would happen in a pregnancy. She'll also start pumping multiple times per day, and will likely add herbal supplements, like fenugreek and blessed thistle.

Women can also try to induce lactation without the hormones, by using pumping and herbs, it may be harder but some women feel more comfortable with that route.

Inducing lactation takes a lot of dedication—but then again, so does everything related to be a mama. It's a super personal decision, and not right for everyone.

The important thing to remember is that we need to support women and mothers through their entire journey, no matter what decisions they make about themselves and their families—whether Kardashian or the rest of us.

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