Totally Married podcaster Elizabeth Laime: How love changes after baby #2

Totally Married is an honest, relateable & funny podcast on marriage in today’s world. Elizabeth takes our questions.

Totally Married podcaster Elizabeth Laime: How love changes after baby #2

Elizabeth Laime is a busy woman.

She co-hosts two weekly podcasts: Totally Married with her husband Andy every Monday and Totally Mommy every Wednesday and is currently working on developing a TV show for ABC Studios.

Oh, and did I mention she has a two year old and a newborn? We bow down, Elizabeth.

Totally Married is an honest, relatable, funny podcast on modern marriage. Elizabeth and Andy are adorable and easy to listen to as they discuss their ups and downs and take questions from listeners every week.

This week, Elizabeth took our questions on marriage after baby number two. How does it all work when there is another human added into the mix?


How has your marriage been since welcoming your son into your family? Have you felt any changes in your relationship?

Elizabeth: Our marriage has been great. There have been challenges of course, but at this point we are so dialed into needing to communicate through it all and everyone’s feelings matter in our house.

Mostly though, I feel incredibly grateful to have a husband who will laugh through the craziness with me and be there as a listening ear for me when I’m a crying, leaking mess which is all too often these days.

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Would you say is having your first baby more stressful on a marriage, or your second?

Elizabeth: First was! The adjustment from total freedom to having the most massive responsibility in the world (on zero sleep) was way more challenging both as individuals and on our marriage.

How do you two fit in alone time now as parents of two?

Elizabeth: Luckily we have the podcast weekly so there is an hour every week where we sit down and connect and it’s usually not about the kids.

We also walk up to get coffee with the kids about three mornings a week which is a great time to connect and talk about our day. We text throughout most days to check in which keeps us connected.

Finish the sentence...

Finding a night to go on a necessary!

Sex in your life right now means...quality over quantity.

Romance husband washing bottles every morning.

My husband is sexy because...he is an amazing father and he keeps me laughing through the challenges.

I feel most sexy when...I have on a normal bra, makeup, regular clothes (non maternity) for a rare night out.

Recommended Totally Married podcast episodes:

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby: In this episode Elizabeth and Andy share results from a sexual compatibility quiz they each took separately. This one is fun!

An Honest Episode: Marriage isn’t always easy. Elizabeth and Andy get really real in this episode. Like should the one making more money be exempt from certain household chores?

No Apologies: Elizabeth and Andy discuss why they aren’t into apologizing lately, and also other topics like how to gain self-confidence and what to do about libido imbalance in a marriage.

After 4 kids, this is still the best baby gear item I’ve ever purchased

I wouldn't be swooning over the BABYBJÖRN bouncer after eight years and four kids if it didn't work.

I have four kids 8 and under, so you might expect that my house is teeming with baby gear and kid toys.

But it turns out that for me, the more kids I have, the more I simplify our stuff. At this point, I'm down to the absolute essentials, the gear that I can't live without and the toys my kids actually play with. And so when a mama-to-be asks me what things are worth registering for, there are only a few must-haves on my list.

The BABYBJÖRN bouncer seat is on the top of my list—totally worth it and an absolute must-have for any new mama.

In fact, since I first splurged on my first BABYBJÖRN bouncer eight years ago (it definitely felt like a splurge at the time, but the five star reviews were really compelling), the bouncer seat has become the most-used product in our house for baby's first year.

We've actually invested in a second one so that we didn't have to keep moving ours from the bedroom to the living room when we change locations.

BABYBJÖRN bouncer bliss

baby bjorn bouncer

The utility of the seat might seem counterintuitive—it has no mechanical parts, so your baby is instead gently bounced by her own movements. In a world where many baby products are touted for their ability to mechanically rock baby to sleep, I get that many moms might not find the "no-motion" bouncer that compelling. But it turns out that the seat is quite reactive to baby's little kicks, and it has helped my kids to learn how to self-soothe.


Lightweight + compact:

The BABYBJÖRN bouncer is super lightweight, and it also folds flat in a second. Because of those features, we've frequently stored it under the couch, in a suitcase or in the back of the car. It folds completely flat, which I love.

Entertainment zone:

Is the toy bar worth it? The toy bar is totally worth it. Not only is the toy bar adorable, but it's one of the first toys that my babies actually play with once they discover the world beyond my boobs. The toys spin and are close to eye level so they have frequently kept my baby entertained while I cook or take a quick shower.

Great style:

This is not a small detail to me–the BABYBJÖRN bouncer is seriously stylish. I am done with baby gear and toys that make my house look like a theme park. The elegant European design honestly just looks good in my living room and I appreciate that parents can enjoy it as much as baby.

It's adjustable:

With three height settings that let you prop baby up to be entertained, or lay back to rest, we get years of use. And the bouncer can actually be adjusted for bigger kids and used from newborn to toddler age. It's that good.

It just works:

I wouldn't be swooning over the BABYBJÖRN bouncer after eight years and four kids if it didn't work. But I have used the seat as a safe space to put baby while I've worked (I once rocked my baby in it with my foot while I reported on a breaking news story for the Washington Post), and as a cozy spot for my second child to lay while his big brother played nearby. It's held up for almost a decade with almost-constant use.

So for me, looking back on what I thought was a splurge eight years ago, was actually one of the best investments in baby gear I ever made.

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


Sorry, you can’t meet our baby yet

Thank you for understanding. ❤️

In just over three weeks, we will become parents. From then on, our hearts will live outside of our bodies. We will finally understand what everyone tells you about bringing a child into the world.

Lately, the range of emotions and hormones has left me feeling nothing short of my new favorite mom word, "hormotional." I'm sure that's normal though, and something most people start to feel as everything suddenly becomes real.

Our bags are mostly packed, diaper bag ready, and birth plan in place. Now it's essentially a waiting game. We're finishing up our online childbirth classes which I must say are quite informational and sometimes entertaining. But in between the waiting and the classes, we've had to think about how we're going to handle life after baby's birth.


I don't mean thinking and planning about the lack of sleep, feeding schedule, or just the overall changes a new baby is going to bring. I'm talking about how we're going to handle excited family members and friends who've waited just as long as we have to meet our child. That sentence sounds so bizarre, right? How we're going to handle family and friends? That sentence shouldn't even have to exist.

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Errands and showers are not self-care for moms

Thinking they are is what's burning moms out.

A friend and I bump into each other at Target nearly every time we go. We don't pre-plan this; we must just be on the same paper towel use cycle or something. Really, I think there was a stretch where I saw her at Target five times in a row.

We've turned it into a bit of a running joke. "Yeah," I say sarcastically, "We needed paper towels so you know, I had to come to Target… for two hours of alone time."

She'll laugh and reply, "Oh yes, we were out of… um… paper clips. So here I am, shopping without the kids. Heaven!"

Now don't get me wrong. I adore my trips to Target (and based on the fullness of my cart when I leave, I am pretty sure Target adores my trips there, too).

But my little running joke with my friend is actually a big problem. Because why is the absence of paper towels the thing that prompts me to get a break? And why on earth is buying paper towels considered a break for moms?

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