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Pop culture might lead us to believe that single people are having all the good sex and us married folks are lucky to get anything at all. But, for a lot of couples, sex gets better after a walk down the aisle.

I'll put it like this: The escapades I had before my husband were a lot like fast food—quick and unsatisfying. On the other hand, married sex is like having a five-star, live-in chef. So, why is it so hard to sell the idea married people are having the best sex of their lives?

"The belief that singles are having better, hotter sex than those of us in long-term relationships is largely because of some pretty outdated—but pervasive—cliches about marriage," says Sarah Hunter Murray, sex researcher and relationship therapist. With a doctorate in human sexuality and years of professional experience, Hunter Murray says it baffles her how many false assumptions about sex in marriage persist.

"It always leaves me feeling pretty perplexed, because most people today marry someone they are deeply in love with, someone who is their best friend, and someone they eagerly and enthusiastically want to share their life with," she says. "Still though, those negative ideas about marriage exist and they naturally extend to our views about sex in that context."

The popular idea of singles being more sexually satisfied is also influenced by ideas that have little to do with sex, Hunter Murray explains.

According to her, single people are thought of as being more carefree and younger than married people, while long-term partnerships are associated with responsibility, aging and other "unsexy" concepts, such as child rearing. As she puts it, "Those things just don't lend themselves to thinking about great, frequent or passionate sex."

Why we need to reconsider married sex

Despite the less sexy reputation of marriage, Hunter Murray says chances are good that the best sex a person will have in their life will be with a long-term partner. Statistically speaking, the odds are in your favor. (Lots of years together means lots of sex.) Plus, the person sleeping on your left likely knows you better than one who just swipes left.

"Single sex can be super fun sex. It's usually passionate and exciting and novel. But it's also likely to be a bit awkward, emotionally uncertain and, sometimes, filled with regret," says Hunter Murray.

In contrast, the deeper level of comfort and intimacy that comes along with marriage is good for your sex life. Just think about all the opportunities to discover what you and your partner like in bed. (After all, women are more likely to orgasm from sex with a long-term partner than a casual hook-up.)

"You can experiment. Switch it up. Do better," says Hunter Murray. "Trial and error is key for growth in our sexual knowledge of ourselves and our sexual skills. And that's something that a longer-term relationship can offer."

Also, who is going to be more understanding of how kids affect your mojo than the person you created them with? As certified life coach Kate Mason says, the key to keeping your post-baby sex life hot (and it can be!) is communication... and designated date nights.

"Date nights, even if they happen just once a month, are so important for couples," she said. "I tell my husband we have to go on a date at least once a month so that I can remember how funny and cute he is."

Married sex isn't just about pleasure

Intimacy within a marriage plays a role in the quality of a couple's sex life. Studies show that intimacy, affection and closeness have unavoidable effects in the bedroom.

Specifically, the science shows our relationship dynamics outside the bedroom impact what goes on inside it—and vice versa. But sexual health researchers and experts offer different perspectives on whether the intimate nature of marriage kills or ignites sexual desire.

"On one hand, being overly familiar with our partner can make them less desirable," Hunter Murray explains, adding that walking in on someone in the bathroom or seeing them in stained pajamas aren't exactly sexy moments.

"On the other hand, the increased bond, trust and intimacy that occurs in healthy relationships is often the fuel that couples need to feel safe, to experiment sexually and to talk more openly about their sexual likes with someone they love and feel loved by," she says. "From my experience as a researcher and therapist, I definitely align more with the second camp."

Your best sex may be yet to come

If you're married but don't think you're living your best sex life, don't give up. Your best sex could be just a date night away. (This is your cue to book a babysitter now.)

"Too many people get frustrated with their sex lives and assume things are just doomed to stay the way they are. Or they believe that their less-than-satisfactory sex life is an indication that their relationship is going south," says Hunter Murray.

She says people experiencing boring or sparkless married sex sometimes wonder if that means they aren't meant to be with their spouse. But, more often it means that the couple needs to talk more about what they like and don't like—and make an appointment with each other.

"Those who make time and effort to schedule sex with one another have much better and much more satisfying sex than those that don't," Hunter Murray explains. "So simply holding the belief that your sex life will ebb and flow over time, and that you can work through sexual slumps, is the biggest step towards making sex more exciting and passionate again."

Or, as Sarah Forbes, curator of the Museum of Sex, puts it the beauty of married sex is realizing it's about so much more than intercourse. "Shortly after I got engaged my grandmother felt it was her duty to call me and say: 'Sex is very important in a marriage,'" she said. "Only now, two kids later, more stressed and exhausted than I've ever been do I really understand how on point her statement was."

If you're experiencing a slump, don't compare your sex life to that of some imaginary, sexually satisfied single (in my experience, solo pizza nights as a single were more satisfying and more common than sex). Instead, talk with your partner about what's going on in the bedroom.

And if you are married and enjoying your best sex life, congratulations. You have to share your pizza, but you also have a best friend to share the most intimate part of your life with.

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Pop quiz, mama! How many different types of car seats are there? If you guessed three, you're partially correct. The three main types are rear-facing car seats, forward-facing car seats, and booster seats. But then there are a variety of styles as well: infant car seats, convertible seats, all-in-one seats, high-back booster seats, and backless boosters. If you're not totally overwhelmed yet, keep reading, we promise there's good stuff ahead.

There's no arguing that, in the scheme of your baby and child gear buying lifetime, purchasing a car seat is a big deal! Luckily, Walmart.com has everything you need to travel safely with your most precious cargo in the backseat. And right now, you can save big on top-rated car seats and boosters during Best of Baby Month, happening now through September 30 at Walmart.com.

As if that wasn't enough, Walmart will even take the carseat your kiddos have outgrown off your hands for you (and hook you up with a sweet perk, too). Between September 16 and 30, Walmart is partnering with TerraCycle to recycle used car seats. When you bring in an expired car seat or one your child no longer fits into to a participating Walmart store during the trade-in event, you'll receive a $30 gift card to spend on your little one in person or online. Put the money towards a brand new car seat or booster or other baby essentials on your list. To find a participating store check here: www.walmart.com/aboutbestofbabymonth

Ready to shop, mama? Here are the 9 best car seat deals happening this month.


Safety 1st Grow and Go Spring 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat

walmart-best-baby-carseat

From rear-facing car seat to belt-positioning booster, Grow and Go Sprint's got you covered through childhood. Whether you choose the grey Silver Lake, Seafarer or pink Camelia color palette, you'll love how this model grows with your little one — not to mention how easy it is to clean. The machine-washable seat pad can be removed without fussing with the harness, and the dual cup holders for snacks and drinks can go straight into the dishwasher.

Price: $134 (regularly $149)

SHOP

Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Bermuda

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When your toddler is ready to face forward, this versatile car seat can be used as a five-point harness booster, a high-back booster, and a backless booster. Padded armrests, harness straps, and seat cushions provide a comfy ride, and the neutral gray seat pads reverse to turquoise for a stylish new look.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)

SHOP

Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Olivia

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Looking for something snazzy, mama? This black and hot pink car seat features a playful heart print on its reversible seat pad and soft harness straps. Best of all, with its 100-pound weight limit and three booster configurations, your big kid will get years of use out of this fashionable design.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)

SHOP

Evenflo Triumph LX Convertible Car Seat

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This rear- and forward-facing car seat keeps kids safer, longer with an adjustable five-point harness that can accommodate children up to 65 lbs. To tighten the harness, simply twist the conveniently placed side knobs; the Infinite Slide Harness ensures an accurate fit every time. As for style, we're big fans of the cozy quilted design, which comes in two colorways: grey and magenta or grey and turquoise.

Price: $116 (regularly $149.99)

SHOP

Disney Baby Light 'n Comfy 22 Luxe Infant Car Seat

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Outfitted with an adorable pink-and-white polka dot Minnie Mouse infant insert, even the tiniest of travelers — as small as four pounds! — can journey comfortably and safely. This rear-facing design is lightweight, too; weighing less than 15 lbs, you can easily carry it in the crook of your arm when your hands are full (because chances are they will be).

Price: $67.49 (regularly $89.99)

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Graco 4Ever 4-in-1 Convertible Car Seat

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We know it's hard to imagine your tiny newborn will ever hit 100 lbs, but one day it'll happen. And when it does, you'll appreciate not having to buy a new car seat if you start with this 4-in-1 design! Designed to fit kids up to 120 lbs, it transforms four ways, from a rear-facing car seat to a backless belt-positioning booster. With a 6-position recline and a one-hand adjust system for the harness and headrest, you can easily find the perfect fit for your growing child.

Price: $199.99 (regularly $269.99)

SHOP

Graco SlimFit All-in-One Convertible Car Seat

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With its unique space-saving design, this 3-in-1 car seat provides 10% more back seat space simply by rotating the dual cup holders. The InRight LATCH system makes installation quick and easy, and whether you're using it as a rear-facing car seat, a forward-facing car seat, or a belt-positioning booster, you can feel confident that your child's safe and comfortable thanks to Graco's Simply Safe Adjust Harness System.

Price: $149.99 (regularly $229.99)

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Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Platinum XT Infant Car Seat

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Making sure your infant car seat is secure can be tricky, but Graco makes it easy with its one-second LATCH attachment and hassle-free three-step installation using SnugLock technology. In addition to its safety features, what we really love about this rear-facing seat are all of the conveniences, including the ability to create a complete travel system with Click Connect Strollers and a Silent Shade Canopy that expands without waking up your sleeping passenger.

Price: $169.99 (regularly $249.99)

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Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Elite Infant Car Seat

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With just one click, you can know whether this rear-facing car seat has been installed properly. Then adjust the base four different ways and use the bubble level indicator to find the proper position. When you're out and about, the rotating canopy with window panel will keep baby protected from the sun while allowing you to keep your eye on him.

Price: $129.99 (regularly $219.99)

SHOP

This article was sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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If you're looking to stock up on some adorable fall (or maybe even next summer) outfits, you're in luck because Maisonette is currently having a huge sale of up to 50% off on really really cute clothes, baby to toddler sizes.

There are a bunch of dresses, shorts and swim suits that are limited to warm weather, but also plenty of sweat pants, polo shirts and hoodies that can be worn year round.

Here are 10 of our favorites:

1. Short-sleeve onesie in multi doodle print

This super cute and mega soft onesie is 40% off! It comes with snaps and layered neck for easy dressing and undressing, and the print is perfect for any gender and style.

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2. Pink light up sneakers 

These neon pink sneakers are adorable even before you turn on the lights on their sole. They come with three settings and are USB rechargeable. They are currently 40% off.

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3. Blue gingham dress

The dress features a peter pan collar and comes with matching bloomers making the entire outfit so so cute. Currently 50% off.

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4. Short sleeve button down in abstract shapes print

This shirt is the perfect match for pants, skirts or jumpsuits and it's easy to match with any color. Currently at 50% off.

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5. Overall dress in pink stripes

These are a brand trademark and come with adorable bloomers for you little one to wear under the dress. Currently at 20% off.

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6. Sweat suit bundle in blue doodle print

This bundle is perfect for Fall days playing outside. It can be worn all together or mixed and match with neutral pieces. Currently at 40% off.

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7. Waist dress in red plaid

If you are planning ahead for the holidays this dress is a great find! Currently at 50% off.

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8. Romper in light chambray 

Babies and rompers are the perfect combo, and this one with the extra ruffles just makes everyone look extremely cute. Currently at 50% off.

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9. Shirt with all the animal friends 

Celebrate all the animals that children love (and maybe even practice the sounds they make) with this adorable t-shirt. Currently at 40% off.

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10. Cool sneakers for mom or dad

These super cool vans come in adult sizes so mom or dad (or both!) can match their little ones. Currently 25% off.

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Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


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Getting kids back into a school year sleep routine is hard work. There were so many reasons for kids to stay up over the summer, like fireworks, campfires and the fact that the sun itself has been staying up so late.

Incrementally later bedtimes happen slowly over the summer, and at this time of year, parents are looking to reset the clock fast. But when you're six years old and you've spent the last couple months basically living a life of Saturdays, it might take some convincing to get you under the covers early.

Enter the Disney Bedtime Hotline. From September 16 to 30 parents in the United States and Canada can call 1-877-7-MICKEY at bedtime and a Disney, Pixar, Marvel or Star Wars character will tell your kids to go to bed.

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Mickey, Spider-Man, Yoda, Elsa, Princess Jasmine, Woody and other beloved characters are on the line, waiting to tell kids a little story before bed .

The Disney bedtime hotline may sound silly, but getting kids back into a bedtime routine (especially when they've grown used to staying up as late as the summer sun) is serious business.

According to a study by the National Sleep Foundation, school-age kids need between 9 and 11 hours of sleep per night, and when summer ends, kids no longer have the option of sleeping in a bit on weekdays. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine goes even further, recommending between 9 and 12 hours of sleep for kids 6 to 12 years old. Kids 3 to 5 years old should sleep 10 to 13 hour (including naps).

"Among three to five-year-olds, lack of sleep is associated with memory consolidation and language development difficulties, and with a lesser quality of life," said Wendy Hall, a member of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine panel that made those recommendations explained after their release.

"Children aged five to 12 years who get less than nine hours of sleep have significantly increased odds of obesity," Hall, a sleep specialist and nursing professor at the University of British Columbia continued.

"Sleep routines are critical for kids of all ages. Reading a book, telling a story, singing a song, or getting into a toothbrush routine help kids settle into sleep better," she explained. "Banning electronic devices from the bedroom also helps."

According to the National Sleep Foundation, a five-year-old who starts school at 8:00am (and needs an hour or so to get ready, eat and commute) should be going to bed at 8 or 9:00pm.

If your child's school starts early, or they have a long bus or car ride to get to school, you may have to call Mickey even earlier.

Thanks for the help, Disney.

[A version of this post was originally published August 13, 2018. It has been updated.]

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Legendary journalist Cokie Roberts died this week due to complications from breast cancer, NPR reports. She was 75 years old.

Roberts made a huge impact on America and will not be forgotten. The Emmy Award-winning broadcaster made her mark in journalism at a time when it was difficult for women to be taken seriously in the space. She was a pioneer who remembered the pioneering women who came before her.

As a historian and prolific writer who authored several bestselling works on the role of American women in U.S. history, including "Capital Dames," "Founding Mothers" and "Ladies of Liberty", Roberts was dedicated to reminding the public of the crucial role of American women in U.S. history.

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Back in 2015, Roberts talked to Motherly co-founder Liz Tenety about what modern mothers should know about the amazing women who preceded them.

This is what she wanted us to know.

Keep reading... Show less
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Before becoming a mother, I had a film reel running in my head of the type of mom I would be. I would nurse. I would make organic baby food. I would set strict and loving boundaries: no screens before two, no co-sleeping, binky gone after the first birthday. I laugh as I type this up.

Our son is 14 months old now and he eats store-bought squeeze packs and goldfish crackers, he sleeps in our bed almost every night, he occasionally watches a show when I am overwhelmed and his binky is his best friend.

The mom I thought I would be in my head is not exactly the mom I am when the realities of life set in.

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When it came to breastfeeding, this was something I assumed I would just do. I knew it would initially be something I would have to figure out and learn in the hospital, but after that I thought it would be natural and comfortable. I was not overly concerned. I didn't even take a breastfeeding class. I heard stories of the initial challenges and pains early breastfeeding brought on, but I wrongly assumed that proper latching and sore nipples would be my biggest obstacles to overcome.

I was absolutely unprepared for the anxiety that breastfeeding brought on.

To say I struggled with nursing my son is an understatement. It was a battle I faced every couple of hours. There were tears and frustrations on both of our ends. I blamed it on a lot of external things: tongue tie, nipple shape, extra milk supply. It was so easy for me to externally justify why this breastfeeding thing was so challenging for me.

While some of these reasons may have been true, there was a bigger issue: my own head. Especially when it came to nursing in public, it almost always ended in disaster. My heart rate would increase, my mind began to tell me all types of lies and he would become frantic. My great challenges when it came to nursing went far beyond latching issues. Even an experienced lactation consultant cannot fully diagnose an issue when it has to do with your internal fears and deep insecurities.

This is something that not enough people talk about. I felt extremely alone and isolated in my anxiety with nursing in public.

I frantically Googled all day long in hopes of finding more women that also struggled with feeling uncomfortable feeding their babies in public. But most of my research made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So much of what I read revolved around embracing nursing in public, not even worrying about using a cover, and the pride other moms had in the ability to nurse wherever.

I read these articles and my heart longed to be like them, but I was stuck still feeling incredibly shy when it came to nursing in front of anyone except my husband. What was wrong with me? This is a totally natural thing. All those other moms seem to nurse out in public with such grace and confidence. Why can't I be like them? Why do I have to get so awkward, insecure and unsure? These were my constant thoughts in the early days of nursing.

Breastfeeding, for me, was much more than just learning the basics of how to correctly feed my sweet baby. It was a lesson in confidence. Even more, it was a lesson in embracing the fact that I do things differently. I am a slow learner. It takes me a while to warm up. I need time. I am shy, modest and slightly insecure. I so wish I could go back and fill those early months with more grace and patience. I wish I could tell myself it would be okay and that I would get there.

I did get there, eventually. I went from needing to find a hiding place each time my baby became hungry to nursing with confidence wherever we were: the park, the beach, an airplane. Part of this growth came from my son's own development, but a large part of overcoming the deep anxiety I once had was learning to be confident as a mom.

It took me a while to fully feel like I was made to be a mom. I had so much self-doubt and insecurity, which ultimately got in the way of something as natural as feeding my baby. I felt like everyone's eyes were on me when I attempted to nurse in public. I made up so many lies about what they thought about me. It's sad to admit, but when I breastfed in public, I was more concerned with how others perceived me than just focusing on my baby.

As I gained confidence in motherhood, my care in how others perceived me slowly lessened. My focus was finally on where it needed to be: my baby.

Gaining the confidence to nurse in public definitely did not happen overnight. It was a long and slow process. There was not one thing that suddenly granted me with courage. It was many little wins that overtime allowed me to be the mother I pictured I would be. The one that nursed her baby with grace and confidence wherever she may be.

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