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5 ways women can overcome the gender pay gap, today

The gender pay gap in the United States has women earning approximately $0.80 for every dollar men earn. And while we've made serious strides toward bridging this divide in the past few decades, experts say it will take another 50+ years until there is complete pay parity in the United States.


That may be promising news for our daughters and granddaughters. But, for us? It's time to take matters into our own capable hands, mamas.

“Knowing how your salary compares to others in your field is power, plain and simple," Lauren McGoodwin, CEO and founder of Career Contessa tells Motherly. “Many women don't even realize when they're underpaid because it's considered so taboo to talk about money."

Here's how we can challenge the gender pay gap today:

1. Seek out transparent salary data

This is the first step for a simple reason: As McGoodwin says, we need to know what we're up against. That led her to launch The Salary Project, which allows women to compare their wages to those of others in their field, thanks to reports from thousands of women.

“It made me realize how willing women are to share their salaries with each other if it means effecting positive change," McGoodwin says. “And it's not just that people are passively curious, it's that they need this information to take action."

Other resources include Fairygodboss, Glassdoor and Comparably—among others.

McGoodwin also says that women shouldn't be shy when asking their own co-workers point-blank about their earnings. "Reach out to a few women and men at your company, or in similar roles at other companies, and ask them if they'd be willing to share their salary details," she says. "If someone says no thanks, that's totally fine. Ask someone else."

2. Boost your negotiating confidence

Armed with the knowledge of how much your peers may be making, ask for a meeting with your boss and go in with your research ready to back up your request. Still feeling intimidated? (As most of us would.) Lean on a script, like this one created for Career Contessa, that has you:

  • Give background info
  • Introduce why you're deserving
  • Make your researched-backed case
  • Make the ask
  • End with a bang

3. Confront your own imposter syndrome

If you have all the information and still don't *feel* like you deserve equal pay for whatever reason, remember this: YOU DO.

Okay, now, as for the internalizing that message part, you may have to fake it till you make it. Also, keep in mind that unequal pay isn't a judgment on your skill—but rather a symptom of this systemic issue that created the pay gap in the first place.

“Keep in mind that your self-worth is not your net worth. If a company isn't paying you what you deserve, and they're not interested in remedying that, it's not you," McGoodwin says. “You can find another job that will treat you with respect and pay you for your work and talent. Start looking."

4. Ask for help re-entering the workplace

Research shows that the more supported families are during their transitions to parenthood, the more progress we make toward eliminating the gender pay gap. This is especially true when mothers are offered resources during paid maternity leave—and during their transitions back into the workplace.

As Inkwell founder Manon DeFelice previously said for Motherly, the first step is asking for help. “Use [your] voice and influence at work to ask about opportunities for varied work hours and occasional work-at-home time," she says. “With the powerful technology we all now possess, from our smartphones to Skype, Slack and Dropbox, we're capable of giving our full effort and attention to work even if we aren't in the office."

5. Find your mentor

Even with all these resources and the best advice from the internet, the truth is that navigating work, motherhood and dynamics as complicated as pay parity can be difficult. Enter: a trusted mentor.

As career coach Evangelia Leclaire previously said for Motherly, “Get perspective. Find other working moms you admire, and request to connect to gain their insights. By doing so, you'll fulfill your need for connection and support, and you'll gain perspective and advice."

To make a match, there are several resources online—but perhaps the best is your own office and a simple introduction.

You deserve this. And, as always, you've got this. ?

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Unstructured play is play without predetermined rules of the game. There are no organized teams, uniforms, coaches or trainers. It is spontaneous, often made-up on the spot, and changeable as the day goes on. It is the kind of play you see when puppies chase each other around a yard in endless circles or a group of kids play for hours in a fort they created out of old packing boxes.

Unstructured play is fun—no question about it—but research also tells us that it is critically important for the development of children's bodies and brains.

One of the best ways to encourage unstructured play in young children is by providing open-ended toys, or toys that can be used multiple ways. People Toy Company knows all about that. Since 1977, they've created toys and products designed to naturally encourage developmental milestones—but to kids, it all just feels like play.

Here are five reasons why unstructured play is crucial for your children—

1. It changes brain structure in important ways

In a recent interview on NPR's Morning Edition, Sergio Pellis, Ph.D., an expert on the neuroscience of play noted that play actually changes the structure of the developing brain in important ways, strengthening the connections of the neurons (nerve cells) in the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain considered to be the executive control center responsible for solving problems, making plans and regulating emotions.

Because unstructured play involves trying out different strategies without particular goals or serious consequences, children and other animals get to practice different activities during play and see what happens. When Dr. Pellis compared rats who played as pups with rats that did not, he found that although the play-deprived rats could perform the same actions, the play-experienced rats were able to react to their circumstances in a more flexible, fluid and swift fashion.

Their brains seemed more "plastic" and better able to rewire as they encountered new experiences.

Hod Lipson, a computer scientist at Cornell sums it up by saying the gift of play is that it teaches us how to deal with the unexpected—a critically important skill in today's uncertain world.

2. Play activates the entire neocortex

We now know that gene expression (whether a gene is active or not) is affected by many different things in our lives, including our environment and the activities we participate in. Jaak Panksepp, Ph.D., a Professor at the University of Washington studied play in rats earning him the nickname of the "rat tickler."

He found that even a half hour of play affected the activity of many different genes and activated the outer part of the rats' brains known as the neocortex, the area of the brain used in higher functions such as thinking, language and spatial reasoning. We don't know for sure that this happens in humans, but some researchers believe that it probably does.

3. It teaches children to have positive interaction with others

It used to be thought that animal play was simply practice so that they could become more effective hunters. However, Dr. Panksepp's study of play in rats led him to the conclusion that play served an entirely different function: teaching young animals how to interact with others in positive ways. He believed that play helps build pro-social brains.

4. Children who play are often better students

The social skills acquired through play may help children become better students. Research has found that the best predictor of academic performance in the eighth grade was a child's social skills in the third grade. Dr. Pellis notes that "countries where they actually have more recess tend to have higher academic performance than countries where recess is less."

5. Unstructured play gets kids moving

We all worry that our kids are getting too little physical activity as they spend large chunks of their time glued to their electronic devices with only their thumbs getting any exercise. Unstructured play, whether running around in the yard, climbing trees or playing on commercial play structures in schools or public parks, means moving the whole body around.

Physical activity helps children maintain a healthy weight and combats the development of Type 2 diabetes—a condition all too common in American children—by increasing the body's sensitivity to the hormone insulin.

It is tempting in today's busy world for parents and kids to fill every minute of their day with structured activities—ranging from Spanish classes before school to soccer and basketball practice after and a full range of special classes and camps on the weekends and summer vacation. We don't remember to carve out time for unstructured play, time for kids to get together with absolutely nothing planned and no particular goals in mind except having fun.

The growing body of research on the benefits of unstructured play suggests that perhaps we should rethink our priorities.

Not sure where to get started? Here are four People Toy Company products that encourage hours of unstructured play.

1. People Blocks Zoo Animals

These colorful, magnetic building blocks are perfect for encouraging unstructured play in children one year and beyond. The small pieces fit easily in the hands of smaller children, and older children will love creating their own shapes and designs with the magnetic pieces.

People Blocks Zoo Animals 17 Piece Set, People Toy Company, $34.99

BUY


This article was sponsored by People Toy Company. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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We're supposed to be the ones comforting them, but sometimes, our children are the ones comforting us. If you've ever had a bad day at work and found your stress melting away when you got to sit down with your little one, you have something in common with Serena Williams.

In a new interview with Mamamia, Williams explains that after losing to Naomi Osaka in the U.S. Open, it was her 1-year-old daughter, Olympia, who kissed her better.

"I got in the car, and Olympia was in the car. It was so weird, and she started giving me kisses, she never gives me kisses. She doesn't even know to give kisses, and she just grabbed me, and I was like this little baby is so smart. It's just hard to be too down when you have a little one… when you have someone to take care of," Williams told Mia Freedman for an upcoming episode of the podcast, No Filter.

"Like I have to take care of this person, and I have to do this type of stuff, it puts everything in perspective," Williams explains.

This isn't the first time Williams has talked about how motherhood has changed her perspective. Before she had Olympia her career was first. But now that she's a mom, Williams is trying to take care of all of Olympia's needs, but also recognizes that she can't ignore her own.

"I'm working on it," she told TIME. "I never understood women before, when they put themselves in second or third place. And it's so easy to do. It's so easy to do."

It is easy to do. According to a recent survey by REDBOOK and HealthyWomen (a non-profit dedicated to providing women with health information), 45% of women over 30 do not make time for their own health, and a recent study revealed that when women have time off from work, we're often spending it watching our kids or doing chores around the house.

In short, we're always making sure our children's needs are met. We're good at that. But sometimes, when they make sure our needs are met (like Olympia did with those kisses) they remind us of what really matters.

When you're a parent, your worth isn't defined by how clean your laundry is, how many promotions you get at work, or (at least in William's case) Grand Slams. Sometimes, it's found in kisses from a toddler.

Your baby loves you, mama. So you should love yourself, too.


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It was a busy weekend for Britain's royal family as the former Kate Middleton's BFF (and Princess Charlotte's godmother) Sophie Carter married Robert Suggs.

Five-year-old Prince George and 3-year-old Princess Charlotte were in the wedding party, and the photos suggest that Prince George was feeling playful on this special day. He may be a royal, but he's also just a kid.

The English press noted that Prince George "stole the show" at the Carter-Snuggs nuptials, but to us it looks like he was taking his pageboy duties pretty seriously (okay, maybe that's mock-seriousness).

HIs sister wasn't feeling quite as cheeky as Prince George was, and spent some time in the arms of both her mother the Duchess, and the bride, her godmother Sophie Carter Suggs.

As royal watchers pointed out, Prince George and Princess Charlotte know their way around a wedding, having been part of three wedding parties in the last two years. They walked in their aunt Pippa Middleton's wedding to James Matthews last year, and of course in their Uncle Prince Harry's wedding to Meghan Markle earlier this year.

Prince George's outfit for the Carter-Suggs wedding was more similar to the look he sported on Pippa's big day than the more regal attire the pageboys donned for Prince Harry's wedding. Princess Charlotte's dress this weekend was light, classic and simple, similar to both the dress she wore at the Middleton-Matthews wedding and her royal wedding frock.

And Princess Charlotte wasn't the only wedding guest in a repeat look. Her mama, the Duchess of Cambridge is known for re-wearing her classic outfits. For her friend's blue-themed wedding, Kate reached for a cornflower blue coat and coordinating lace dress by Catherine Walker, an outfit she was first spotted in when the Cambridge family toured Berlin in July 2017, according to What Kate Wore.

Re-wearing an outfit to a friends wedding isn't just practical, but it's a nice way for Kate to make sure that her own outfit doesn't attract more attention than the bride's. Her adorable children attract enough attention as it is.

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As any parent knows, newborns need to eat a lot to keep fuel in those tiny tummies. For breastfeeding mamas, that can translate to nursing sessions anywhere, any time of day—which can make it feel like a full-time job. So, what's a mama to do when she has other things on her to-do list?

Let's take a look at some celebrity mothers who are showing the world that mamas have legendary multitasking skills. 👊

Jessie James Decker is a backseat breastfeeder

By the time her third child was born, Jessie James Decker had a few tricks up her sleeve when it came to breastfeeding on the go—including how to get situated in the backseat of the car to nurse her son while he was strapped into the car seat.

Decker doesn't recommend mamas go without a seatbelt like she did, but sometimes, a bad day out with the baby calls for extreme measures. When little Forrest couldn't stop crying on the way home from his mama's photo shoot, his mama did what she had to do.

"I hopped in the back seat with Forrest and fed him with boob out leaned awkwardly over the car seat to calm him down," Decker says. "On the way home I cried, I got stressed and anxiety, and I was just a mom trying to do my best just like we all are no matter the situation."

Pink takes a hike

When son Jameson was a baby, Pink proved that breastfeeding didn't have to mean sitting at home in a glider. With some assistance from a baby carrier and a perfect position for Jameson, the multitasking mama was able to go about her hike like it was no big deal.

Gisele Bündchen 'grammed her breastfeeding glam session

In 2013, the super model proved she's also a super mama by multitasking a full-on beauty session while breastfeeding. Recognizing what a team effort it was, Bündchen captioned the post, "What would I do without this beauty squad after the 15 hours of flying and only three hours of sleep."

Tess Holliday was inspired by her fellow supermodel mama 

Tess Holliday followed in Gisele's footsteps after her youngest was born, posting this photo to Instagram. It that proves that breastfeeding mamas can not only multitask, but also don't have to conform to certain body ideals to look amazing postpartum. Any size, any shape, any time, anywhere—breastfeeding mothers like Holliday are normalizing breastfeeding and our bodies.

Padma Lakshmi proves you don't need a team

Without a beauty squad on call, Lakshmi took her multitasking to "level 💯" by using a nursing pillow to free up her two hands. It takes a brave woman to attempt mascara while breastfeeding, but the Top Chef host clearly pulls it off.

Whether a mama is trying to feed her baby on the go or while she's getting glam, it isn't always easy. Motherhood is about trying to do your best even when it feels like 100 things are going on at the same time—and yet we manage, like the super mamas we are.

[Update, September 23: This post was originally published June 12, 2018. It has been updated to include Tess Holliday's Instagram post]

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So many parents wish there was a way we could add more hours to the day. Unfortunately, we're stuck with just 24 of them, but we can try to make the most of the time we've got. One way more and more working mamas are maximizing the time we do have is by cutting out the commute and working from home.

It can add an hour or two back to your day, and (depending on your hours and circumstances) it can even make childcare arrangements easier. And with more big companies offering legit remote opportunities, it's easier than ever for parents to find these opportunities. As Motherly recently reported, Amazon is on a bit of a remote hiring spree ahead of the holiday season, and it's not the only one.

Williams-Sonoma is currently seeking Seasonal Customer Service Associates to work from home. It is looking for remote workers in Cincinnati, Cleveland, Phoenix, Reno, Tulsa, and near Raleigh, Columbus, Braselton, and Oklahoma City.

These work-from-home positions are part of Williams-Sonoma's plan to hire about 3,500 associates for its Customer Care Centers. The company says a "significant portion of positions" for the Customer Care Centers will be work-from-home. They're looking for remote workers who live no more than an hour and a half away from one of the Customer Care Centers as "on occasion our Work From Home associates must come to the Care Center for meetings and training with advanced notice," the company notes in the job postings.


The positions are very similar to what Amazon is looking for: Basically customer service reps who can take inbound calls to help shoppers with orders, returns and issues with finding products or deliveries of products. Williams-Sonoma is looking for people who can work 30 - 50 hours per week, and the pay is listed at $12 per hour.

Another perk is a 40% discount on most merchandise, which great because the Williams-Sonoma umbrella includes brands like Pottery Barn and West Elm as well.

Sounds like this could be a great gig for a mama with customer service skills and a high-speed internet connection.

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