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Cardi B says she's still recovering at 6 months postpartum

She opens up about postpartum depression and how her body still doesn't feel quite like before.

Cardi B says she's still recovering at 6 months postpartum

Cardi B has had a busy year. She's been married, had a baby, had to make some hard decisions about when to go back to work, and then her marriage ended very publicly. It would be a lot for any mother, and Cardi admits it was hard.

In a new interview with Harper's Bazaar (for the magazine's March cover issue), Cardi opened up about how postpartum depression surprised her.

"I thought I was going to avoid it," the 26-year-old first-time mama explained. "When I gave birth, the doctor told me about postpartum, and I was like: 'Well, I'm doing good right now, I don't think that's going to happen. But out of nowhere, the world was heavy on my shoulders."

It makes sense. Cardi had to pull out of the Bruno Mars tour very publicly, and while it was obviously the best decision for her and her family, it couldn't have been easy to make that choice. But Cardi says she's still not feeling like her old self exactly. Pregnancy changes our brains, and Cardi is thinking differently these days. She's also feeling differently, physically.

"For some reason, I still don't feel like my body's the same," she told Harper's Bazaar. "I feel like I don't have my balance right yet. When it comes to heels, I'm not as good at walking anymore. I feel like I'm holding a weight on me. I don't know why because I'm skinnier than I've ever been. But there's an energy I haven't gotten back yet that I had before I was pregnant. It's just the weirdest thing."

Research suggests it takes new moms six months to adjust to motherhood and find their new equilibrium, so Cardi may find she gets a confidence boost soon, as baby Kulture is now 6 months old, and about 25% of first-time mothers "experienced a period with low maternal confidence, low maternal mood and high parental stress," according to one study published in the journal Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare.

Other surveys estimate a full third of mothers experience mental health issues but according to a recent study published in the Maternal and Child Health Journal, one in five new moms experiencing postpartum mood disorders don't disclose their symptoms to healthcare providers.

That's why it's cool that Cardi disclosed her depression to Harper's Bazaar. This mama is a cultural force, and by getting people talking about postpartum depression, she's making it easier for other people to talk about it when it happens to them.

Mama, you shouldn't have to feel like the world is heavy on your shoulders. If you do, it's time to talk about it so you can get some help carrying that weight.

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This is my one trick to get baby to sleep (and it always works!)

There's a reason why every mom tells you to buy a sound machine.

So in my defense, I grew up in Florida. As a child of the sunshine state, I knew I had to check for gators before sitting on the toilet, that cockroaches didn't just scurry, they actually flew, and at that point, the most popular and only sound machine I had ever heard of was the Miami Sound Machine.

I was raised on the notion that the rhythm was going to get me, not lull me into a peaceful slumber. Who knew?!

Well evidently science and, probably, Gloria Estefan knew, but I digress.

When my son was born, I just assumed the kid would know how to sleep. When I'm tired that's what I do, so why wouldn't this smaller more easily exhausted version of me not work the same way? Well, the simple and cinematic answer is, he is not in Kansas anymore.

Being in utero is like being in a warm, soothing and squishy spa. It's cozy, it's secure, it comes with its own soundtrack. Then one day the spa is gone. The space is bigger, brighter and the constant stream of music has come to an abrupt end. Your baby just needs a little time to acclimate and a little assist from continuous sound support.

My son, like most babies, was a restless and active sleeper. It didn't take much to jolt him from a sound sleep to crying like a banshee. I once microwaved a piece of pizza, and you would have thought I let 50 Rockettes into his room to perform a kick line.

I was literally walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around the house, watching the television with the closed caption on.

Like adults, babies have an internal clock. Unlike adults, babies haven't harnessed the ability to hit the snooze button on that internal clock. Lucky for babies they have a great Mama to hit the snooze button for them.

Enter the beloved by all—sound machines.

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I never wanted to be a mom. It wasn't something I ever thought would happen until I fell madly in love with my husband—who knew very well he wanted children. While he was a natural at entertaining our nephews or our friends' kids, I would awkwardly try to interact with them, not really knowing what to say or do.

Our first pregnancy was a surprise, a much-wanted one but also a unicorn, "first try" kind of pregnancy. As my belly grew bigger, so did my insecurities. How do you even mom when you never saw motherhood in your future? I focused all my uncertainties on coming up with a plan for the delivery of my baby—which proved to be a terrible idea when my dreamed-of unmedicated vaginal birth turned into an emergency C-section. I couldn't even start motherhood the way I wanted, I thought. And that feeling happened again when I couldn't breastfeed and instead had to pump and bottle-feed. And once more, when all the stress from things not going my way turned into debilitating postpartum anxiety that left me not really enjoying my brand new baby.

As my baby grew, slowly so did my confidence that I could do this. When he would tumble to the ground while learning how to walk and only my hugs could calm him, I felt invincible. But on the nights he wouldn't sleep—whether because he was going through a regression, a leap, a teeth eruption or just a full moon—I would break down in tears to my husband telling him that he was a better parent than me.

Then I found out I was pregnant again, and that this time it was twins. I panicked. I really cannot do two babies at the same time. I kept repeating that to myself (and to my poor husband) at every single appointment we had because I was just terrified. He, of course, thought I could absolutely do it, and he got me through a very hard pregnancy.

When the twins were born at full term and just as big as singleton babies, I still felt inadequate, despite the monumental effort I had made to grow these healthy babies and go through a repeat C-section to make sure they were both okay. I still felt my skin crawl when they cried and thought, What if I can't calm them down? I still turned to my husband for diaper changes because I wasn't a good enough mom for twins.

My husband reminded me (and still does) that I am exactly what my babies need. That I am enough. A phrase that has now become my mantra, both in motherhood and beyond, because as my husband likes to say, I'm the queen of selling myself short on everything.

So when my babies start crying, I tell myself that I am enough to calm them down.

When my toddler has a tantrum, I remind myself that I am enough to get through to him.

When I go out with the three kids by myself and start sweating about everything that could go wrong (poop explosions times three), I remind myself that I am enough to handle it all, even with a little humor.


And then one day I found this bracelet. Initially, I thought how cheesy it'd be to wear a reminder like this on my wrist, but I bought it anyway because something about it was calling my name. I'm so glad I did because since day one I haven't stopped wearing it.

Every time I look down, there it is, shining back at me. I am enough.

I Am Enough bracelet 

SONTAKEY  I Am Enough Bracelet

May this Oath Bracelet be your reminder that you are perfect just the way you are. That you are enough for your children, you are enough for your friends & family, you are enough for everything that you do. You are enough, mama <3

$35

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Life

A few years ago, while my wife's baby bump got bigger and my daddy reading list grew longer, I felt cautiously optimistic that this parenthood thing would, somehow, suddenly click one day. The baby would come, instincts would kick in, and the transition from established couple to a new family would be tiring but not baffling.

Boy was I wrong.

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