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It takes about nine months to grow a baby. Yet many of us moms are made to feel like our bodies should snap right back into place before the newborn photos are even done. In reality, most of us are met with new figures—some parts of which revert back to the familiar in time while other parts are forever transformed.


It’s a beautiful, amazing thing when you consider the miracle of growing a new person. It can just feel difficult to remember that every time you catch a glimpse in the mirror.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. Just ask new mom-of-three Daphne Oz.

“Seven weeks post partum [sic], still looking three months pregnant,” the former co-host of The Chew says in a new Instagram post. “There is no bounce-back, it’s all onwards and upwards.

A post shared by D A P H N E O Z (@daphneoz) on

Oz, who welcomed baby girl Domenica Celine in early December, adds “Every day has moments of total splendor and also a decent number of WTFs.”

As she notes, this is especially important for first-time moms to hear:

“We see so much of how glossy motherhood can be and not enough of how real 3D life is always complicated (and better for it). Your experience will be just right for you. prepare to be amazed by some things and horrified by others. Motherhood is as complex and wonderful as the woman.”

It’s so true: We are often quick to give grace to other people in our lives, but not ourselves. In reality, the wonderful thing about motherhood is that it is unique to each one of us in every way from how our bodies respond to how we parent our children.

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We’re all better for it when we toss expectations about how we should look, feel or act—and instead embrace the experience of motherhood as it is for us as individuals.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

Subscribe to get inspiration and super helpful ideas to rock your #momlife. Motherhood looks amazing on you.

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Did you hear that? That was the sound of Nordstrom and Maisonette making all your kid's summer wardrobe dreams come true.

Nordstrom partnered with Maisonette to create the perfect in-store pop-up shop from May 24th-June 23rd, featuring some of our favorite baby and kids brands, like Pehr, Zestt Organics, Lali and more. (Trust us, these items are going to take your Instagram feed to the next level of cuteness. 😍) Items range from $15 to $200, so there's something for every budget.

Pop-In@Nordstrom x Maisonette

Maisonette has long been a go-to for some of the best children's products from around the world, whether it's tastefully designed outfits, adorable accessories, or handmade toys we actually don't mind seeing sprawled across the living room rug. Now their whimsical, colorful aesthetic will be available at Nordstrom.

The pop-in shops will be featured in nine Nordstrom locations: Costa Mesa, CA; Los Angeles, CA; Chicago, IL; Austin, TX; Dallas, TX; Bellevue, WA; Seattle, WA; Toronto, ON; and Vancouver, BC.

Don't live nearby? Don't stress! Mamas all across the U.S. and Canada will be able to access the pop-in merchandise online at nordstrom.com/pop

But don't delay―these heirloom-quality pieces will only be available at Nordstrom during the pop-in's run, and then they'll be over faster than your spring break vacation. Happy shopping! 🛍

This article is sponsored by Nordstrom. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Ayesha Curry has a beautiful family. Her girls, 6-year-old Riley and 3-year-old Ryan, are so smart and adorable and youngest, 10-month-old Canon, is a beautiful, growing baby boy.

He's so cute it practically hurts to look at his sweet little face. So Curry was understandably shocked when an Instagram commenter suggested that Canon (again, he is 10 months old) should go on a diet.

Seriously.

The whole thing started when Curry posted a photo taken after her husband, NBA star Steph Curry, won the Western Conference finals with the Golden State Warriors. The group shot shows Curry holding Canon surrounded by friends and family. The problematic comments began when someone asked the mom of three if she was pregnant again.

That question is not cool. It's not okay to comment on a woman's body like that, even if she is in the public eye. Curry recently told Working Mother that she's had times since becoming a mom when she's been depressed about her body, and struggled with her reflection as she's gone from being an NBA player's wife to a successful woman who is landing magazine covers for her own work.

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"I'm not thin; I'm 170 pounds on a good day. It's been a journey for me, and that's why I want my girls to understand who they are—and to love it."

Despite this, Curry took the pregnancy speculation in stride, replying with "LOL" and stating she is absolutely not pregnant.

"My 30-lb. son is just breaking my back in every photo," she wrote.

That's when the comments about Canon came.

"30 at 10 months?? Sheesh," wrote one user.

"30?!?!? He's bigger than my 19-month-old nephew," another commented.

"Maybe portion control his food a little bit," replied another Instagram user in a comment that got Curry's attention.

While she had responded to the inappropriate speculation about her own body with grace, she was not about to take baby body shaming and unsolicited parenting advice from an internet stranger.

"Excuse you? No. Just no," she wrote.

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No is right. It is never okay to presume a woman is pregnant and it is never okay to comment on a baby's weight. Plus, Canon is adorable just the way he is!

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, every baby grows at their own rate, but usually by their first birthday, the average child triples their birth weight. What's important isn't measuring your child against any chart, but that they continue to grow at the same pace they set in the first eight months of their life, the AAP notes.

Many moms can relate to Curry's situation here. People (sometimes well-meaning) seem to think it's okay to comment on baby's weight, but it absolutely isn't. Every baby is different and growing at their own speed, and no one knows what is best for their baby like their mom and dad do so strangers on the internet or even relatives at a family dinner need to keep those comments to themselves.

No one should be judging Canon's weight or Curry's parenting. Canon is 30 pounds of cuteness and his mother knows exactly how and what to feed him.

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Car seats are obviously meant to be used in the car, but in recent years the designs of modern infant car seats have made them so portable many parents keep babies in them even outside of the vehicle. Many parents arrive at a destination, take the whole car seat out and lug it inside so their babies can keep sleeping.

But now, the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending against this after a new study published in the journal Pediatrics found that a significant number of infant deaths are occurring in car seats that aren't being used in the car, but rather as a substitute for a crib or bassinet, especially when babies are in the care of a childcare provider.

Researchers investigated 11,779 infant sleep-related deaths over the course of a decade and found that 348 (3%) babies died in sitting devices, most of which (63%) were car seats that were not being used for their intended purpose. The remaining deaths happened in bouncers or swings (35%) and strollers (2%).

When the pediatricians looked into infant deaths that occurred in bouncers and swings, they learned most happened when the baby was at home with a parent. But they noted that when it comes to car seats, more babies were under the care of a childcare provider. "There are higher odds of sleep-related infant death in sitting devices when a child care provider or baby-sitter is the primary supervisor," they wrote.

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There have been several highly publicized cases of this in recent years. Ali Dodd lost her 11-week-old son Shepard in 2015 after he was put down for a nap in his infant car seat while at an in-home day care. It was only his sixth day in day care.

Dodd now advocates tirelessly for safe sleep and paid family leave in the hopes of preventing deaths like Shepard's. She's pleased to see the AAP drawing attention to data proving that sleeping in inclined sleepers and sitting devices is dangerous for babies. "The more this is talked about that more likely parents will accept this as fact. Babies should always be placed on their backs, alone in their crib or Pack N' Play for every sleep time," Dodd tells Motherly.

She continues: "If my son had been placed in a safe sleep environment I would likely still be watching him grow up. That's a privilege I want for more American families."

Parents, childcare providers, grandparents and anyone else who watches a baby should be aware that car seats are not a safe place for naps when used outside the car.

Children are going to fall asleep in their car seats while in a moving vehicle from time to time, and parents shouldn't panic about that—the seats are made to be used in the car. As noted in a study The Journal of Pediatrics, when car seats are used as directed by the manufacturer's guidelines, babies have a very low risk of suffocation or strangulation from the harness straps.

The danger is when the seats are used on the floor, a table or a bed. Instead of letting a baby sleep in a car seat the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends babies nap and sleep "on a firm sleep surface such as a crib or bassinet with a tight-fitting sheet." There should be no soft bedding, pillows, toys or bumpers in the crib.

Bottom line: Car seats save lives when used in the car, but they are absolutely not a replacement for a bassinet or a crib, and everyone who is taking care of babies should know this.

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In recent months there has been a growing awareness about the tragedy of maternal health care in America, specifically how much more dangerous it is for black women to become mothers. Black women are 3 to 4 times more likely than white women to die during or right after pregnancy than white mothers and racism and the implicit bias of health care providers allows this to happen.

This week, Sen. Kamala Harris reintroduced the Maternal Care Access and Reducing Emergencies (CARE) Act to address this issue."The health status and the well-being of Black mothers should concern everyone," she wrote on Twitter. "I re-introduced my Maternal CARE Act to ensure women are listened to in our health care system."

Implicit bias is basically the ways in which we stereotype people, even unconsciously, and how these stereotypes impact our actions. When it comes to maternal health care, the implicit bias of providers can mean black mothers' concerns go unheard, even when they're paying for the best medical care money can buy.

This is happening to moms at all income levels and is something that Serena Williams has been very open about, and even Beyonce felt the effects of.

According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, "implicit bias may affect the way obstetrician–gynecologists counsel patients about treatment options such as contraception, vaginal birth after cesarean delivery, and the management of fibroids."

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Harris's Maternal Care Access and Reducing Emergencies (CARE) Act would create grants to ensure black mothers have access to maternal care and that healthcare providers are trained to avoid the kind of bias that results in black moms losing their lives, and babies losing their mothers.

Harris has seen this in her own state, where black women make up 5% of the pregnant population, but 21% of the pregnancy-related deaths. California's Dignity in Pregnancy and Childbirth Act is seeking to change that on the state level, and Harris is hoping to do the same on a national level by passing her federal act (and winning the Democratic primary).

Her future in the Presidential race remains to be seen, but with Maternal Care Access and Reducing Emergencies (CARE) Act she's trying to ensure that black mothers are seen and no longer overlooked in America's healthcare system.

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We've said it here at Motherly many times: The majority of moms just don't feel like society supports them. Our 2019 State of Motherhood survey found a whopping 85% of mothers feel this way, up from 74% last year.

We've wondered if anyone is listening, but the race for the Democratic primary proves many politicians are.

This week Kirsten Gillibrand, a mom of two herself, announced her new economic policy platform known as the Family Bill of Rights.

In a Medium post published Wednesday, Gillibrand explained that she believes Americans have the right to a safe and healthy pregnancy, the right to give birth or adopt a child, the right to personally care for those children in their infancy and access health care for them, the right to a safe and affordable nursery, and the right to affordable child care and early education before kindergarten.

She's proposing a lot here. Like Senator Elizabeth Warren before her, Gillibrand points out that the "U.S. has the highest rate of pregnancy-related deaths in the industrialized world, and black women are 3–4 times more likely to die during or after childbirth than white women."

Like Warren, she plans to make America a safer place to give birth. She also plans to "require insurance companies to cover treatments like IVF" to make sure that reproductive medicine isn't out of reach for families. She wants to make sure all families, regardless of sexual orientation, race or income level can welcome a child.

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That's why one of her promises is to ensure taxpayer-funded adoption agencies can't discriminate against potential parents, and why she plans to "provide a tax credit to ensure that a family's ability to adopt and provide a stable home for a child isn't dependent on their wealth."

That tax credit would help parents who are adopting older children, and Gillibrand's plan for safe and affordable nurseries would help parents who are coming home with newborns. She plans to provide baby boxes that contain a small mattress and can be used as a safe sleep surface but will also be packed with "diapers, swaddle blankets, and onesies."

And of course, like so many politicians in America right now, she's got a plan for paid family leave, but she's also tackling children's health care in the same breath. "It's past time we create a national paid family and medical leave insurance program, so that everyone can take the time they need to be with their loved ones without having to worry about how they'll pay the bills. And I would ensure that every child has the right to health care, by making the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) universal," she explains.

From there, Gillibrand is committing to universal pre-K and an expansion of the Child and Dependent Care tax credit to help families with the cost of childcare.

With more than 20 competitors running against her and a poll numbers suggesting she's nowhere near the lead, many may not take Gillibrand's announcement seriously. There are a lot of promises in her Family Bill of Rights, but that fact alone reminds us just how much American families are missing right now.

Time will tell how far Gillibrand will get on this platform, but we hope other politicians (in both parties) are listening. Because she was listening to us. And she's got our attention.

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