Millennial mamas embrace #honestmotherhood—and other things we learned in 2017

Print Friendly and PDF

2017 has had its highs and lows, to say the least, but we fully believe millennial mamas are coming out on top. This year, we’ve seen more women find their voices, work together and come into their own. And we are HERE FOR IT. ?


With the year *almost* in the rearview mirror, we wanted to reflect on the trends that shaped our lives in 2017.

Here are 10 things we learned about millennial mamas this year.

1. Millennial moms are busy

In 2017, a survey found the average mom is working 98 hours a week—without much in the way of a real “day off” from it all. We’re squeezing in work wherever we can, with a lot of moms grinding it out during non-traditional hours. It makes sense, because you’ve gotta have a flexible work schedule if you’re gonna devote more than five hours a week to driving kids around. ?

FEATURED VIDEO

2. Millennial mamas carry huge mental loads

Considering just how busy we are, it’s no wonder today’s moms have heavy mental loads. There’s so much to think about: schedules, appointments, whether or not you need to stop for milk on the way home... It can become pretty overwhelming.

In 2017, we learned a lot about this buzzworthy phrase and how it applies to moms. We also started the discussion about what to do about it—because one trend we’d like to see in 2018 is a lightened mental load.

A post shared by Motherly (@mother.ly) on

3. Millennials love parenting

Despite the work and the mental load, moms in 2017 are proving that we are all in on parenting—with one survey finding 99% of millennial parents “love” raising kids. While this generation has often been criticized for being selfish, the stats also show 91% of today’s parents value “raising successful children” even more than living up to their own highest levels of potential.

4. Millennials are leaving cities to raise families

Many millennial moms are moving out of the big cities. According to Ellie Mae, little Athens, Ohio,
is the top city for millennials homebuyers, and WalletHub ranked Overland Park, Kansas, as the best place to raise a family in 2017.

5. Millennial mamas are embracing #honestmotherhood

With celebrities like Whitney Port and Pink leading the charge, 2017 has been a great year for honesty in the parenting sphere. Because while millennial moms love parenting, we’re not afraid to talk about the downsides. Being real about the struggles of parenting (like the loneliness, and depression and anxiety) is an important part of creating an environment where people aren’t afraid to ask for help when they need it.

A post shared by Motherly (@mother.ly) on

6. Millennial mamas are calling out mom-shaming

A recent survey by the BBC found 14% of moms have been shamed by random strangers—and we millennial moms are over it. This generation has been on the receiving end of a lot of shaming, but many millennial moms are standing against it and refusing to dish it out to others. Celebrities like Julia Stiles and Chrissy Teigen are standing up to online mom-shamers and empowering non-celeb mamas to do the same.

7. Millennial moms love inventive baby photos

Letterboards, number blankets and, of course, baby meloning (that’s taking a picture of your baby while holding watermelon in front of them so it looks like clothes) were all the rage on Insta this year. Baby photos are cute, but creative baby photos are even better.

A post shared by Motherly (@mother.ly) on

8. Millennials value marriages and relationships

Despite declining millennial marriage rates, studies suggest this generation’s moms are still into the idea. We’re also willing to work on our relationships and let our partners know what we need: Studies show that marriages improve when couples split the chores, so talking about who loads the dishwasher is just as important as talking about mental load.

9. Millennial mamas are campaigning for change

This generation of moms is helping ensure things will be easier for the next: Paid parental leave for moms (and dads) is super important and while it may not happen for those who are due in 2018, the work millennials are doing now is setting the stage for a change in parental leave policies that will be better for babies and families.

10. Millennial moms really, really (no, really) love Target

No, seriously. Whether it’s self-care through a trip to the store or just a quick trip to the parking lot to pick up an online order, millennial moms are all about Target.

Bottom line: There is so much to be optimistic about for millennial moms in 2018—and that’s not just because Chip and Joanna Gaines’ line is finally in Target stores. (But that, too.)

The very best of Motherly — delivered when you need it most.
Subscribe for inspiration, empowering articles and expert tips to rock your best #momlife.

Mamas expecting babies this month are a special bunch—and not just because it's statistically unique to have a birthday during the shortest month of the year.

Science shows babies born in February already have advantages with everything from physical growth to creativity to even presidential elections. (It's no coincidence that President's Day is this month!)

Here are six reasons why February birthdays are so special:

1. They may be bound for the NBA

According to a 2006 study from Harvard researchers that examined data from 21,000 children around the world (including the southern hemisphere), those born in February were taller and weighed more at the age of 7 than their friends who were born during other times of the year. (Further proof: Michael Jordan celebrates his birthday on February 17.)

FEATURED VIDEO

2. Or on their way to a doctorate

The same study also showed winter-born babies performed best in a series of intelligence tests. As the researchers concluded, “The overall pattern of findings is that winter/spring babies are both 'bigger' on the anthropometric variables and 'smarter' on the selected neurocognitive variables."

3. They also have artsy sides

February babies are either born under the Aquarius or Pisces star signs—which are linked to the traits of originality and creativity. But even if you aren't one for astrology, a study complied from the United Kingdom's Office for National Statistics found that people born in February are more likely to be artists.

4. Which may set them up for stardom

Speaking of the zodiac, one study published in the Journal of Social Sciences found a disproportionate number of celebrities claim the Aquarius star sign. That includes everyone from Bob Marley to Jennifer Aniston to Shakira. It's also one of the most popular star signs for American presidents—including Abraham Lincoln (February 12) and Ronald Reagan (February 6).

5. Or, at least, satisfying careers

But don't feel bad for babies born in the latter half of the month: A survey from CareerBuilder.com found Pisces adults were among the “most satisfied" with their jobs. (They also have legs up on the competition if they ever find their way into a presidential election.)

6. They may have the rarest birthday of all

Babies on their way this year are out of luck. But, come 2020, a special group of newborns will have the distinction of being born on Leap Day, February 29. Sure, they won't get to mark their birthday for another four years, but they do get a prime pick of perks when that day does roll back around!

Snuggle up with that newborn while you can, mama. Once your February baby gets going, they'll be hard to stop.

[Originally published February 2, 2018]

News

People often say that having a second child doesn't much add to the workload of parenting. There's no steep learning curve: You already know how to make a bottle, install a car seat and when to call the pediatrician. And you're already doing laundry, making lunches and supervising bath time—so throwing a second kid in the tub isn't a big deal.

Except that it is. Having a second child doesn't just mean attaching a second seat to your stroller. Adding a whole new person to your family is more complicated than that, and it's okay to say that it is hard.

FEATURED VIDEO

A study out of Australia disputes the popular idea that after making the transition from people to parents, making the jump from one child to two is easy. The researchers found that having a second child puts a lot of pressure on parents' time and their mental health, and mothers bear the brunt of the burden.

When looking at heterosexual couples, the researchers found that before a first child is born both partners feel equal amounts of "time pressure," but once the child is born, that pressure grows, more so for mothers than fathers.

Basically, parents feel psychological stress when they feel they don't have enough time to do all they need to. One baby makes both parents feel more stress, but mom's increase is more than dad's. When a second baby comes, that time pressure doubles for both parents, and since mom already had more than dad, there's now a gulf between them.

The researchers behind this study—Leah Ruppanner, Francisco Perales and Janeen Baxter—say that after a first child is born, a mother's mental health improves, but after a second child, it declines.

Writing for The Conversation, the trio explains:

"Second children intensify mothers' feelings of time pressure. We showed that if mothers did not have such intense time pressures following second children, their mental health would actually improve with motherhood. Fathers get a mental health boost with their first child, but also see their mental health decline with the second child. But, unlike mothers, fathers' mental health plateaus over time. Clearly, fathers aren't facing the same chronic time pressure as mothers over the long-term."

The researchers say that even when mothers reduce their work time, the time pressure is still there and that "mothers cannot shoulder the time demands of children alone."

Adding a second child to the family isn't just a matter of throwing a few more socks in the laundry: It means a schedule that is already stretched is now filling up with twice as many appointments, twice as many school functions. Mothers only have 24 hours in the day, and as much as we wish we could add a couple extra hours per child, we can't.

Time simply can't change to help us, but society can. As the researchers noted, when time pressure is removed, motherhood actually improves mental health.

We love our lives, we love our kids, we love parenting, but there is only so much of our day to go around.

Ruppanner, Perales and Baxter suggest that if society were to help mothers out more, our mental health (and therefore our children's wellbeing as well) would improve even after two or three kids. "Collectivising childcare – for example, through school buses, lunch programs and flexible work policies that allow fathers' involvement – may help improve maternal mental health," the researchers explain, adding that "it is in the national interest to reduce stressors so that mothers, children and families can thrive."

Whether you're talking about Australia or America, that last bit is so true, but this research proves that the myth about second-time parenthood isn't. Even if you already have the skills and the hand-me-downs, having a second child isn't as easy as it is sometimes made out to be.

We can love our children and our lives and still admit when things aren't easy.

[This post was first published December 18, 2018.]


News

As parents we don't start our families thinking we will lose our partner or a child when they are still in their prime, but that is what happened to Vanessa Bryant when tragedy struck her family on Sunday. We feel incredible pain and sadness for Vanessa who is now dealing with the unimaginable at less than a year postpartum. It's impossible to conceive of the grief that Vanessa and her daughters are feeling today and our hearts are with them.

America is mourning the loss of the basketball superstar and his daughter Gianna, who was only 13 years old. The two were killed in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California.

FEATURED VIDEO

Gianna, or Gigi as her family called her, brought her father back to basketball after his retirement and was showing the world that girls can be amazing athletes.

As her father explained on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Gianna's goal was to play in the WNBA and her father was sure she could make that happen. Bryant told Kimmel: "The best thing that happens is when we go out and fans will come up to me, and she'll be standing next to me. And they'll be like, 'Man, you gotta have a boy. You and V gotta have a boy, man, have somebody carry on your tradition, the legacy.' And she's like, 'Oy, I got this. You don't need no boy for that. I got this." And I'm like, 'That's right. Yes, you do. You got this.'"

Like her father, Gianna was an incredibly talented basketball player. Her basketball teammate, Alyssa Altobelli, along with her parents, Keri and Orange Coast College baseball coach John Altobelli were also killed. It's an unimaginable loss of young talent and knowledge for the basketball community, a nation and the victims' families.

Kobe and Vanessa Bryant just welcomed their fourth child, baby Capri Kobe Bryant, in July 2019. "We are beyond excited that our baby girl 'Koko' has arrived!!," Kobe announced on Instagram.

The hearts of an entire nation and much of the world are with them in this terrible moment. Bryant was beloved and the news of his death and Gianna's is hitting many people incredibly hard.

If you are having trouble coping with the news today mama, remember that It is okay to turn it off. It is okay to go offline and turn your attention to your family. It's okay to talk about how hard this is hitting you and to take time to give yourself some extra care as you process this. Grief looks different for everyone and even those who never met Bryant were touched by his cultural impact and legacy.

News

If you're expecting a baby this year you've got plenty of celebrity company, mama. From reality TV stars to bloggers and A-list actresses, there is a baby boom happening in celebrity circles right now.

Amy Schumer, Snooki and Christina Anstead are just a few of the celebrity moms who recently welcomed little ones and there are a ton more who are still waiting to meet their kiddos.

Here are some fellow parents-to-be expecting in 2020:

America Ferrera will be a mom of 2 in 2020 

America Ferrera and her husband Ryan Piers Williams already have one little boy, 1-year-old Sebastian, and soon he will be a big brother!

"Welcoming Baby #2 in 2020! 🥰" she captioned a family photo released early in the year.

Congratulations, mama!

Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson will be a dad in 2020! 

Moden Family may be ending but Jesse Tyler Ferguson's family is just beginning. In January the sitcom star announced he's expecting a baby with his husband, Justin Mikita.

"This is something I haven't even mentioned to anyone, if we could just keep it between the three of us and you all, but I'm actually expecting a baby in July with my husband," he said on The Late Late Show.


Laura Prepon is expecting her second child 

Actors Laura Prepon and Ben Foster share 2-year-old daughter Ella and will soon share one more little one.

Prepon announced her pregnancy on Instagram:. "We are so excited to announce that our family is growing. Life is beautiful!"

Report: Michelle Williams is engaged + pregnant 🎉

Mom of one Michelle Williams will soon be a mom of two!

News of the actress' pregnancy and engagement to Tony Award-winning director Thomas Kail was first reported by People and confirmed by E! News. The actress split from her former husband musician Phil Elverum nearly a year ago.

Williams and Kail previously worked together when Kail directed Fosse/Verdon, in which Williams starred. She won an Emmy for that performance and her powerful Emmy acceptance speech inspired working moms everywhere by acknowledging "what is possible when a woman is trusted to discern her own needs, feels safe enough to voice them, and respected enough that they'll be heard."

Williams' incredible speech ended with a shout out to her 14-year-old daughter, Matilda, who she shared with the late Heath Ledger: "Matilda, this is for you, like everything else."

Matilda was just 2 years old when she and Williams lost Ledger in 2008.

In the years since his death, Williams has protected their daughter's privacy with the same intensity she brings to her work. In addition to her Emmy win, she has won a Golden Globe and been nominated for four Academy Awards since becoming a mother.

Williams has demonstrated that motherhood is no impediment to professional success and we can't wait to see what she does as a mother of two!

Hope Solo is pregnant with twins! 🎉

Soccer superstar Hope Solo just announced she is pregnant...and expecting twins!

She broke the news during the beIN Sports show Weekend Winners, which she co-hosts.

She's having a boy and a girl and can't wait to meet her "miniature soccer team".

"Yes, my husband and I get to practice equality from the very beginning with one boy and one girl," Solo explained during the segment, which was posted to Twitter.

This is a rainbow pregnancy for Solo, who miscarried twins in 2018.

We are so happy for Hope and her husband, former NFL player Jerramy Stevens.

Can't wait to see this mini soccer team in action!

Bekah Martinez is pregnant again! 🎉

Bekah Martinez first pregnancy announcement shocked the world in September 2018 and now she's just announced she's expecting again!

The Bachelor alum and her partner Grayston Leonard are having another baby, as seen in a sonogram Bekah posted to Instagram.

"Thankful," she captioned the pic.

The baby will join older sister Ruth who was born in February.

Jenna Dewan and Steve Kazee are having a baby! 

The last two years have seen a lot of changes for Jenna Dewan. In April 2018 she and former husband Channing Tatum announced they had "lovingly chosen to separate as a couple". Later that year she was publicly linked to boyfriend Steve Kazee.

Now, another change is on the horizon for Dewan as she and Kazee are expecting their first child together. The baby will join 6-year-old Everly, who Dewan co-parents with Tatum.

"We are beyond overjoyed and couldn't be happier to be expanding our family!" Dewan and Kazee told People.

That's pretty much all the couple is saying at this point, and we can't blame them. They've confirmed the pregnancy to media outlets, but haven't shared much or made any announcements on Instagram but we can't wait to see what Dewan decides to share as she embarks on this journey.

Every pregnancy is different, so even though she's not a first-time mom, Dewan may be in for some surprises. The one thing we know for sure is that her life is about to change again, in a big way.

Congratulations to Jenna and Steve! 🎉

Eva Amurri Martino will soon be a mom of 3!

Blogger Eva Amurri Martino, aka Happily Eva After, just announced she and her sportscaster husband Kyle Martino and expecting a their third baby.

"I'm so thrilled to announce our most exciting collab yet. Head to HappilyEvaAfter.com for the full video and reveal," she wrote in an Instagram caption teasing the announcement.

On her blog she wrote: "Our family is ecstatic to share this 'collab' that has been brewing now for several months!"

Baby no. 3 will join the couple's two older children, 2-year-old Major James and 5-year-old Marlowe.

Congrats Eva!

[A version of this post was originally published October 21, 2018. It has been updated. ]

News
Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.