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Sandra Bullock wants people to stop saying 'my adopted child'

"Let just say, 'our children,'" Bullock says.

Sandra Bullock wants people to stop saying 'my adopted child'

She's a movie star, but she's also a mom—and she wants to be known as just a mom, not an "adoptive mom." Actress Sandra Bullock says people should stop putting labels on families who grew through non-biological means, because a mom's child is her child, no matter how their bond was formed.


In a recent interview with InStyle the star says she's tired of hearing people refer to her kids, 8-year-old Louis and 6-year-old Laila as "my adopted child[ren]." "Don't say 'my adopted child.' No one calls their kid their 'IVF child,'" she notes. "Let just say, 'our children.'"

Slow clap for Bullock here. This fierce mama couldn't be more right.

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The actress is dropping some truth about the way language and labels can hurt when we're talking about families, but this isn't the first time she's spoken out about her journey to motherhood.

She adopted Louis as a baby in 2010, and Laila was adopted at 3-and-a-half, after Bullock first fostered her. "I can tell you absolutely, the exact right children came to me at the exact right time," she told People in 2015.

Louis' adoption famously happened in the midst Bullock's painful divorce from Jesse James, and while Laila entered her life during less turbulent times, the process itself wasn't without stress. "When you adopt a child, there's a placement period, and if something goes sideways, they have the right to take the child away. It's a tenuous, strenuous six months. We had an allergy scare that sent us to the ER, and we were followed by the paparazzi," Bullock told InStyle.

The stress of that transition period is something that many parents in the midst of the adoption process can relate to (although most are shielding their children from the cameras of social-media happy friends and family, not paid paparazzi), and so are her comments about labels.

In the end, our kids are our kids. There's no reason to add extra labels to it.

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This is how we’re defining success this school year

Hint: It's not related to grades.

In the ever-moving lives of parents and children, opportunities to slow down and reflect on priorities can be hard to come by. But a new school year scheduled to begin in the midst of a global pandemic offers the chance to reflect on how we should all think about measures of success. For both parents and kids, that may mean putting a fresh emphasis on optimism, creativity and curiosity.

Throughout recent decades, "school success" became entangled with "academic achievement," with cases of anxiety among school children dramatically increasing in the past few generations. Then, almost overnight, the American school system was turned on its head in the spring of 2020. As we look ahead to a new school year that will look like no year past, more is being asked of teachers, students and parents, such as acclimating to distance learning, collaborating with peers from afar and aiming to maintain consistency with schooling amidst general instability due to COVID.

Despite the inherent challenges, there is also an overdue opportunity to redefine success during the school year by finding fresh ways to keep students and their parents involved in the learning process.

"I always encourage my son to try at least one difficult thing every school year," says Arushi Garg, parenting blogger and mom of a 4-year-old. "This challenges him but also allows me to remind him to be optimistic! Lots of things in life are hard, and it's important we learn to be positive during difficult times. Fostering a sense of optimism allows kids to push beyond what they thought possible, like biking without training wheels or reading above their grade level."

Here are a few mantras to keep in mind this school year:

Quality learning matters more than quantifying learning

After focusing on standardized measures of academic success for so long, the learning environment this next school year may involve more independent, remote learning. Some parents are considering this an exciting opportunity for their children to assume a bigger role in what they are learning—and parents are also getting on board by supporting their children's education with engaging, positive learning materials like Highlights Magazine.

As a working mom, Garg also appreciates that Highlights Magazine can help engage her son while she's also working. She says, "He sits next to me and solves puzzles in the magazine or practices his writing from the workbook."

Keep an open mind as "school" looks different

Whether children are of preschool age or in the midst of high school, "going to school" is bound to look different this year. Naturally, this may require some adjustment as kids become accustomed to new guidelines. Although many parents may wish to shelter our kids from challenges, others believe optimism can be fostered through adversity when everyone is committed to adapting to new experiences.

"Honestly, I am yet to figure out when I will be comfortable sending [my son] back [to school]," says Garg. In the meantime, she's helping her son remain connected with friends who also read Highlights Magazine by encouraging the kids to talk about what they are learning on video calls.

Follow children's cues about what interests them

For Garg, her biggest hope for this school year is that her son will create "success" for himself by embracing new learning possibilities with positivity.

"Encouraging my son to try new things has given him a chance to prove that he can do anything," she says. "He takes his previous success as an example now and feels he can fail multiple times before he succeeds."

There's no denying that this school year will be far from the norm. But, perhaps, we can create a new, better way of defining our children's success in school because of it.

This article was sponsored by Highlights. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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