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If one could drop dead of embarrassment, I’d have been six feet under the day my daughter marched into my office belting out Let It Go into a vibrator. “Mama! I love this funny microphone! It wiggles!” would have been the last words I ever heard. (Clearly my sex toy game was better than my sex toy hiding game. But I digress.) I flew across the room Neo-style to snatch it out of her hand, and asked if she’d like to go out for ice cream before tucking it back in my bedside drawer. (That “talk” could come later.)

But when it comes to talking with adults, I could talk about sex toys for days. I mean, there’s a reason sex toy parties are a thing. Once you get past the awkwardness, it’s just fun. And maybe it’s the company I keep, but every girls night ends up on the topic at some point. There’s good reason to dish about what you like! After all, pleasure, alone or with a partner is one of the best ways to de-stress, relax, and connect. I’d even argue that orgasms can be a powerful form of self-care. And while you might not necessarily need an object to make it enjoyable, the addition of vibrators or sex toys definitely ups the ante. (Also, no shame if you do.)

Related: What I didn’t know about CBD & sex (but I’m so glad I do now)

As a commerce editor in the women’s lifestyle space who has no qualms putting at least a small amount of my personal business on the streets, I’ll tell you that I’ve personally tested most of the options on this list. In fact, I recently took time to organize the aforementioned bedside drawer which had unwittingly become just a clown car of vibrators. The array of colorful, whimsically-shaped silicone was just staggering. (And the charging cord situation is a complete and total nightmare. Can we not come up with a universal system already?) So let’s make good use of my research.

I’ve rounded up some of my personal favorites along with others that come highly recommended by friends who’ve definitely talked sex toys with me at length because that’s just who we are.

Must-try sex toys to help you stay connected with your partner and yourself:

svakom coco g spot vibrator

$29.99

If you’re new to the vibrator game, Svakom’s Coco G-Spot vibrator is a great place to start. The budget-friendly brand is not only an Amazon top-seller, but their products easily hold their own against their pricier counterparts. A favorite model? This flexible, spoon-sized vibrator which can be used for internal and external stimulation with five different speeds and vibration patterns. It’s small, discreet and pretty quiet too. But the best part? It promises an orgasm in 8-seconds. Wham, bam, thank you Coco.

plusOne Bullet Vibrator

$12

Another one that’s great for beginners but also worth having in a pro arsenal is a super compact and discreet bullet. I personally love this one from plusOne which packs plenty of literal good vibes into a pocket-sized package. (Seriously, it’s smaller than most lipsticks.) It’s made with a super soft silicone which I prefer to the hard plastic versions I’ve tried. The 10 intensity levels are easy to cycle through as you go and the compact silhouette makes it great for both solo and partner play. Honestly, I challenge you to buy more fun with just $12.

dame com wand vibrator

$90

Since the dawn of the Hitachi “massager” in the late 60s (we all know what it really is) wand style vibrators have been a go-to for good times. And while the OG is pretty fantastic, turns out you can improve on an original. Case in point: This powerful style from the sex toy experts at Dame, the Com vibe. With a curved shaped that’s more ergonomic than the sometimes cumbersome straight wand, it’s much easier to find the perfect angle with a partner or solo. The bulb head offers five vibration patterns and intensities and is sizable enough to stimulate the clitoris and vulva simultaneously. It’s quiet enough to use discreetly but be warned–you might not be.

Ina Wave 2

$209

Before Sex and the City, the word “rabbit” only meant one thing to me. But the late 90s made me wiser and for that I am grateful. Named for its adorable silhouette, “rabbit” style vibes provide internal and external stimulation simultaneously with a clitoral arm that gently rests and vibrates on the clitoris and an internal arm that vibrates and moves with a come hither motion along the g-spot. The result? A blended orgasm that’s been called “explosive,” “mind-blowing” and “addicting.” Lelo’s version, the super-charged Ina Wave 2 which boasts a whopping 12 levels of intensity is a top choice for its power, quality and downright sexy presentation.

JimmyJane Form 2 Pro

$144.99

Speaking of rabbits, another bunny-esque design that’s earned frequent flier status is the best selling Form 2 from luxury sex toy brand JimmyJane. Ideal for anyone who craves external stimulation, this compact little friend is small but mighty. The three inch tall vibe packs a powerful duo motor that allows each “ear” to vary the vibration and intensity independently which tickles and teases in a way that’s erotic not robotic. There are five vibration patterns and five intensity levels to choose from which are easy to switch between without busting your groove. (But not so easily you do it accidentally.) Since it’s so small, it’s great for partner play but given its prowess, you’re totally going to reach for it solo.

Tenga SVR Smart Vibe Ring

$84.99 $89.99

Penetrative sex doesn’t offer every woman the mind blowing orgasms men would like to think they’re delivering on the regular. (Sorry fellas, it’s true.) Some simultaneous clitoral stimulation can be a real value add–especially with this clever vibe ring. Unlike the versions you may or may not have sheepishly thrown in your basket at CVS, this ring actually delivers. It’s designed to sit upright, maximizing contact with your most sensitive zones. Other styles are usually too short to hit the right spot, which is not a problem at all in this case. With five different vibe speeds which are easy to swap between it’s simple but effective and can even be used solo! To loosely quote the Queen Beyonce herself, “If you like it you should put a ring on it.”

Bloomi Massage Clitoral and Body Vibrator

$58

Budget-friendly and multi-purpose, I love this powerful little vibe from Bloomi. The computer mouse-esque design sits comfortably in your hand to deliver three vibration patterns at three distinct levels. The underside features a delightful little curve which provides great clitoral stimulation while the rounded side is perfect for a sensual full body massage. Light a candle or two and be sure to take turns. It’s only fair, right?

Dam Fin

$53.10 $59

Like they say, the best things come in small packages. (I will not make a distasteful joke. I will not make a distasteful joke.) This powerful little nugget from Dame is no exception. Designed to rest comfortably between your fingers and without any extra business to get in the way, it’s perfect for stimulating your clit during penetrative sex. (Of course it’s also perfect solo!) The tether can be used on or off (personally, I never use it) and it’s equipped with three speeds to dial up or down. It’s not the quietest in my arsenal, but given its size it’s my go-to vibe for travel. I mean, I’m not ashamed but I like to make my interactions with TSA as sexless as possible, you know?

unbound puff

$48

With their empowering ethos, inclusivity and just plain awesomeness, Unbound is a brand I could not possibly love more. Everything they make is pure bliss but I have to give a special shoutout to the Puff. With over 2.9K (well-deserved) 5-star reviews, this best-selling suction toy sucks–in the best way possible. The colorful toy is designed for clitoral stimulation with a slightly different technology than traditional vibrators (which can sometimes be too much for such a sensitive spot). Instead, it utilizes air pressure to create a vibrating sensation that doesn’t numb or desensitize. It’s quiet and waterproof, so go ahead! Fish those rubber ducks and plastic bath toys out of the tub and schedule a little me time with a toy of your own.

Womanizer Liberty 2

$99

Another suction toy I recommended to anyone who wants their mind completely blown is the Womanizer Liberty 2. Because of my profession (and who I am as a person), I’ve tested an unholy amount of sex toys over the years. And let me just say, if the words that come out of my mouth when I use this one are any indication, it is the holiest thing I own. I swear I’ve seen colors that don’t exist elsewhere within time and space and the feeling after is nothing short of euphoric. It offers eight different speeds, the lowest of which is pretty tame, the highest I’m not even sure I’ve reached. The bonus? The included cover makes it super discreet and travel-ready and it’s perfectly sized for both solo and partnered seshes.

Womanizer Enhance

$159

Suction toys are personally my favorite style, but vibes are a close second–combine the two and it’s game over in the best way possible. That power combo is exactly what you’ll find with the Womanizer Enhance. Longer and leaner than the Liberty 2 above, it’s made of silky soft silicone with a smooth, even-edged circular mouth that sits right against your erogenous zones. There aren’t too many complicated settings (up and down buttons for suction, up and down buttons for vibrations and one button for patterns which I never seem to use) so it’s easy to find your perfect groove. (Made even easier by the fact that between ten air intensities, ten vibration intensities and ten vibration patterns, you can create 1000 different combinations of pleasure.) It’s also super quiet. And while I can’t prove their claim that 100% of testers had an orgasm, as a study of one, I can confirm it works every time. In fact, I’d say it’s occasionally cheated me out of a leisurely session because it works too well. Oh, the struggle!

maude vibe

$52

You know how baseball players have their favorite bats? Well, if pleasure is a sport, this is my bat of choice. Made by Maude, a female-founded modern sexual wellness company that puts an emphasis on simplicity, inclusivity and quality, its no frills, all chills. The feel is silky soft with a somewhat pliable texture/tip that directs the vibrations where you want them (as opposed to kicking it back into your hand like some cheap models can) and comes equipped with three speeds that build to hit just right. It’s compact with a quiet hum that’s totally parent-with-sleeping-children friendly which also makes it a great option for travel.

we-vibe chorus

$209

Considered one of the best couples toys in the market, the We-Vibe chorus is a hands-free vibrator that can be worn comfortably vaginally during intercourse. The unique c-shaped toy vibrates on the clitoris and G-spot during sex creating more pressure and stimulation for each partner. What makes it even more fun is the touch-activated remote that lets your partner control the vibration based on how hard they squeeze the remote—there’s even an app that lets you play and connect with your partner from anywhere in the world. There are 10 different vibration modes to choose from along with more that can be programmed from the app itself. Technology at its finest!

b-vibe anal training kit

$159.99

If you’re in the mood to mix things up or anal play is a regular part of your repertoire, you’re going to need the right tools to make it enjoyable. (Like lube. Allllll the lube, thanks.) This seven-piece set equips anyone looking to explore anal with techniques and products that ensure more pleasure for all involved. In it you’ll find an anal enema, lube shooter, three plug sizes, as well as a step-by-step guide.

lelo olga

$3490

If Cleopatra had a sex toy, I imagine it looked like this. (FWIW, Cleopatra definitely had a sex toy.) And with a price tag like this, I assume it’s only owned by legit queens and Gwyneth Paltrow. But listen. You do you. If a 24k gold plated toy is in your budget, why not? It’s elegantly sculpted for deeper penetration and G-spot stimulation and made to order, just for you. The real shame would be stuffing it in your bedside drawer when you’re done. No, no. Not this one. This one needs a glass display case to marvel at its beauty.

A version of this story was published June 11, 2020. It has been updated.