Giving birth is one of the most sacred life experiences you’ll ever have for so many reasons. Welcoming a baby is a physical feat like no other. It’s intensely emotional. It puts you in the most vulnerable, unfiltered position imaginable—and allowing someone into that space while you undergo this sort of experience? That’s the ultimate form of intimacy.

For newly single Eva Amurri (who is about to have her third child) the guest list for her birth will not include the father of her baby. The actress, who is about 37 weeks pregnant, wrote a blog post about her feelings ahead of her upcoming delivery, and explained to fans why she won’t have her baby’s father (sportscaster Kyle Martino, who she recently split from) on hand when she gives birth.

She says preparing for birth “this time without a partner has made me get in my own head a lot about whether I’m strong enough to do this…Birth is so emotional, and so I knew early on that having Kyle there wasn’t going to feel right to me. Our intimacy level has totally changed now that we aren’t a couple, obviously, and in order to really let go and allow labor to progress (especially with a Home Birth) it’s so important to feel completely at ease in your body and support.”

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Ultimately, how every mother gives birth is entirely up to her. Whether you want to be alone in those moments, have your estranged partner with you, include your own mom in the delivery, or something else entirely…that’s your call to make.

For Eva, having female energy in the room is of great importance, so she’ll have her doula, midwives, girlfriends and children with her when she delivers.

As for her ex, Martino, with whom she shares daughter Marlowe, son Major and the baby Eva is currently expecting—the co-parents have figured out a plan that works for them. “Kyle will, of course, meet his son directly after he’s born (and we both feel good about this decision), but not having a partnership present at this birth feels totally different!” Eva wrote.

More power to this couple for choosing a setup that works for their situation. Ultimately, co-parenting is all about figuring out a system and a rhythm that suits your family. And it sounds like Eva and Kyle are doing just that.