Actress Eva Amurri’s talks ‘biggest parenting fail’: Her infant daughter rolled off the changing table

1. Don’t pick them up immediately

Dr. Ye Mon says if a baby falls check for these signs before picking them up:

• Obvious skull fractures
• Bruising or swelling along the head
• Discharge or blood coming out of the nose or ears
• Vomiting
• Loss of consciousness
• Seizures
• Obvious broken bones in other parts of the body

If any of these things are happening call 911 and don’t move your baby. The only exception is if your baby is having a seizure, in which case you should gently roll them onto their side. If they’re not having a seizure, but do have one of the above injuries, don’t move them.

“With head traumas, it’s possible that they’ve also injured their neck or spine, and you don’t want to possibly worsen the injury by moving them,” Dr. Ye Mon explains.

If none of the above signs are happening and your baby is conscious and crying, go ahead and pick them up.

In a case where no injuries are obvious “you’re probably much more upset than the baby is,” Dr. Jen Trachtenberg, author of The Smart Parent’s Guide: Getting Your Kids through Check Ups, Illnesses and Accidents , tells Fatherly.

2. Console your baby + get medical advice

If there are no signs of injury and your baby is crying just pick them up and offer comfort.

If the baby stops crying and is quickly distracted by play or toys they’re likely going to be like Marlowe was—just fine. Still, you should keep a close eye on them and don’t hesitate to seek medical attention.

According to Diana Spalding, Motherly’s Senior Education Editor who is also a midwife and pediatric nurse, it is important to keep a close eye on the child for any concerning signs, even if they seem to be okay immediately after the fall.

Worrisome findings might include:

• Vomiting
• Irritability
• Pain when they move their head
• Drowsiness
• Changes in their behavior
• Changes in their sleep pattern

“If parents have any concerns at all, it’s never wrong to have them evaluated by a doctor to be on the safer side, especially at that age,” says Dr. Ye Mon.

Spalding agrees. She always tells her patients to remember that health care providers exist for this exact reason! “Please don’t worry about ‘bothering us’—this is our job, she says. “I would so much rather you reach out to a provider because you suspect a problem and find out that all is well, than the opposite. It is okay to trust your gut, when your gut tells you something is up.”

If you are having trouble deciding whether to seek medical attention consider the advice of Dr. Bianca Edison , the attending physician at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles’ Children’s Orthopaedic Center.

Edison says the height of the fall matters and suggests seeking medical attention if a child is less than two years of age and sustains a fall more than three feet, or if a child is over two years of age and has sustained a fall more than five feet.

3. Forgive yourself

Knowing your baby fell because your hand wasn’t there is hard, but don’t beat yourself up if it happens to you, mama.

The statistics and the experiences of parents like Amurri prove that these things do happen. Guilt trips are not going to help and a fall doesn’t make you a bad parent.

As Amurri says, “I think we all have moments where we wish we were paying attention more—that we knew better when we didn’t…You just really have to forgive yourself and move forward.”