Pregnancy is hilarious. Why don’t we talk more about it?

All the stuff people don’t tell you about pregnancy – the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Pregnancy is hilarious. Why don’t we talk more about it?

Yay you’re pregnant!

If you are like most new mothers-to-be,you have probably already gone out to purchase the latest and greatest “how to” book on pregnancy.

Because even though women have been birthing babies since the dawn of time, we rarely talk or think about the subject until we actually get pregnant.

Then it’s a mad dash to the bookstore to do a crash course on the ins-and-outs of motherhood.

That’s what I did the first time I found out I was expecting, anyway! Within hours of peeing on an overpriced stick (as well as my hand holding said stick) I stocked up on the requisite prego prep books.


Although I picked up a few facts, I couldn’t get over how dull many of these books were. For how overwhelming a time this is for a woman, you would think these books would at least take an attempt at levity. Besides the lack of humor, they were also incomplete and not very relatable. Why were so few real life situations being documented? Only days before I saw those two blue lines on the pregnancy test, I had been running the beer pong table at a Halloween party. Even though I had no clue I was pregnant at the time, and immediately halted all drinking (and dressing up as a ninja turtle) upon finding out, I still felt intense shame and fear that I had harmed my baby.

I desperately needed to be reassured that these types of things happen, but instead I was left reading about the comparison of the size of my fetus to a peach.  It wasn’t until my first doctor’s appointment that I was finally talked off the ledge.

Now that I have had two children, I understand just how many little details most books leave out and, shockingly, even experienced moms don’t openly talk about.  For instance, the moment you become pregnant your hormones literally hijack your body leading to all sorts of crazy changes.  Night sweats, hair growth, and progression in nipple size are just to name a few. By the time I was four months into my pregnancy, I had sweat through every sheet in the house, was sporting a full mustache, and had nipples so big you could serve dinner on them.

As my pregnancy advanced, it just kept getting worse. I felt like I had turned into a geriatric patient.  I was peeing twice an hour, struggling with fatigue and back pain, and forgetting where I put my car keys on a daily basis.

Why didn’t anyone warn me that becoming pregnant meant I would turn into a Golden Girl?

Then came the coup de grâce of bodily surprises… hello, hemorrhoids!  Never did I imagine, nor did anyonemention, that I would one day go to wipe and find an unwelcome lump between my tush and my hoo-ha.

Changes to your body are not the only things that you will be faced with. There are many other situations that pop up throughout pregnancy that you may not be prepared for.  Like, beware of maternity clothes overindulgence. I wish someone had told me in advance that size small maternity jeans would not be big enough to cover up my pregnant belly by month five.

Speaking of the baby bump, did you know it has magical powers to attract human touch? For some reason, people can’t seem to resist it. I was okay with the occasional elderly lady giving my belly a rub, but by month nine, I was only a few strangers away from investing in a Taser.

Then comes labor and delivery, which isabsolutely nothing like they show on screen!  I guess no one wants to sit through a twenty-hour movie.

As drastically unprepared as I felt during my first pregnancy, in the end I made it through. The instant my baby was placed in my arms, the good, the bad, and the just plain gross things I went through during the previous forty weeks (even the fact that only moments ago I pooped myself during labor), were replaced with pure joy.

In This Article

    14 toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

    They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

    With fall in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in outside-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

    From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

    Wooden doll stroller

    Janod wooden doll stroller

    Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.


    Detective set

    Plan Toys detective set

    This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.


    Sand play set

    Plan Toys sand set

    Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.


    Water play set

    Plan Toys water play set

    Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.


    Mini golf set

    Plan Toys mini golf set

    Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.


    Vintage scooter balance bike

    Janod retro scooter balance bike

    Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.


    Wooden rocking pegasus

    plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

    Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.


    Croquet set

    Plan Toys croquet set

    The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.


    Wooden digital camera

    fathers factory wooden digital camera

    Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.


    Wooden bulldozer toy

    plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

    Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.


    Pull-along hippo

    janod toys pull along hippo toy

    There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.


    Baby forest fox ride-on

    janod toys baby fox ride on

    Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.


    Balance board

    Plan Toys balance board

    Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!


    Meadow ring toss game

    Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

    Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.


    We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.


    10 photos to take on baby’s first day that you'll cherish forever

    You'll obsess over these newborn baby pictures.

    Bethany Menzel: Instagram + Blog

    As you're preparing for baby's birth, we bet you're dreaming of all of the amazing photos you'll take of your precious new babe. As a professional photographer and mama, I have some tips for newborn photos you'll want to capture.

    Here are the 10 photos you will want to take on baby's first day.

    Keep reading Show less

    Chrissy Teigen opens up on losing her baby: 'Our grief was so public'

    "He just wouldn't survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either."

    Chrissy Teigen/Instagram

    Chrissy Teigen (and any parent mourning their baby) gets to grieve however they want to. And for Teigen, a person who lives life out loud on the Internet, sharing her story was part of mourning, and she just shared more of it.

    When Teigen and her husband John Legend lost their third child, Jack, about halfway through Teigen's pregnancy, many internet commenters were shocked that Teigen chose to share photos of the event on Instagram. But in a powerful essay for Medium, Teigen made it clear that she doesn't care what people think about those pictures. She posted them for herself and for mamas who've lived it.


    "I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it's something you wouldn't have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren't for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me."

    Keep reading Show less