Home / Health & Wellness / It's Science What went viral this week: What everyone gets wrong about maternity leave + phone shaming parents Here are the stories you need to check out, mama. ? By Zara Hanawalt October 22, 2021 Rectangle A short work week provides the perfect opportunity for us to teach our children about kindness—and to look at the world around us and see all the beautiful things others are doing. Whether it’s standing up for ourselves against unfair criticism (we see you, Meghan Markle!) or wishing good things for people all around the world, there’s good happening out there. Mothers are making things happen for their kids every day despite a lack of support from society—and there are people seeing the pressure society is pushing on new moms and saying “no, this is not okay.” And to prove that, here are the stories that went viral this week: This mama perfectly sums up what everyone gets wrong about maternity leave. I took four and a half months away from work after I gave birth to my twins. And yes, those days were full of sweatpants and dirty hair and Netflix and couch cuddles—but make no mistake: They were grueling. They were mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. And they were certainly not a vacation. Of course, that didn’t stop the comments about how I must be “getting so bored” or questions about how I was “passing the time.” Because we have this weird societal idea that parental leave is a vacation. And newsflash: It’s not. That’s why we’re applauding Anna Whitehouse, the founder of Mama Pukka, for posting about this very idea. “A reminder to businesses: Maternity/ paternity leave is not ‘a holiday’. It’s not ‘a nice break’ and it is not time off,” Anna writes in a LinkedIn post. “It’s a heady cocktail of anticipation, expectation, arrival and survival. It’s stripping yourself back to a primal state and nakedly navigating blocked milk ducts, torn stitches, bloody sheets, broken minds, manically Googling blackout blinds,” the mother continues. “You are needed. Every second you are needed—if not in person, in mind. It is a job. Without sick days. Without fair remuneration. It is the most privileged position in the world but it takes balls, guts (often with no glory), boobs and any other extremity you can put to work.” ??? Maternity leave is the perfect representation of motherhood’s demands: You’re in pain, recovering from serious physical trauma, dealing with an unfathomable hormonal shift—but you can’t really stop to take care of or even check in with yourself because there’s a little person (or a few little people) who depend on you for survival. And the weight of that? It can feel crushing. Maternity leave is a perfect exercise in selflessness and tenacity. It’s certainly not the stuff vacations are made of, that’s for sure. So thank you to this mama for making a truly important point. Because there is this unfair idea that mothers have a few weeks or months to simply check out…when in reality, that’s simply not the case. Maternity leave is demanding. It’s hard. It’s isolating. It’s essential. It is so many things happening all at once…and none of them feel anything like a break. This viral video shows a mama helping her baby walk for the first time A beautiful 4-year-old girl named Kinley and her mama are inspiring people everywhere with an incredible viral video in which Kinley learns to walk. Kinley was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, a disorder that affects motor skills, at age 2. Kinley’s mom, Shanell Jones, shared the footage of her daughter walking in January of 2019 and another video a year later—and the progress is remarkable. The post has been viewed nearly 3 million times. “It brings joy to my heart that my daughter is bringing hope to people,” Shanell tells Good Morning America. “People reached out saying, ‘I didn’t feel like my child was ever going to walk, but this video helped me have faith.'” It’s not just the progress the little girl is making that inspires. It’s also her mother’s constant encouragement. We love listening to this mama cheer on her beautiful daughter. What an amazing, inspirational duo! This viral hospital sign shames parents for phone use when we really need empathy Think back to when you first welcomed your baby. Do you remember how you felt? How exhausted, how dazed, how vulnerable you were in those early days? If you’ve been through it, you know that the last thing a new parent needs is to feel shamed…especially a new parent who is still at the hospital. Unfortunately, parents at one hospital likely did feel shame…and it’s thanks to a very questionable sign posted on its wall. British parent Dr. Ash Cottrell posted a photo of the sign Twitter…and let’s just say it’s rubbing users the wrong way. “I’m on SCBU [special care baby unit] with my 5 day old. This poster makes me sad…,” he writes alongside the photo of the sign. The printed sign essentially shames new parents for looking at their phones. “Mummy & Daddy . . . Please look at ME when I am feeding, I am much more interesting than your phone!!! Thank you,” the signs reads. The special care baby unit is for babies who don’t need the NICU but still aren’t well enough to go home. A baby may go to the SCBU to be put on oxygen or a feeding tube or to treat low blood sugar or jaundice. It’s a stressful time for parents who might want to send updates to family or just check their feed for a moment of relief. “When your baby is in SCBU you have no option than to sit and look at your baby. All day. For hours. You can’t take them home & cuddle & snuggle & be mum. If, for some of those hours, you look at your phone to relieve the tedium of hours on the ward, nobody should tell you off.” one Twitter user replies. This sign is SO not what a new parent needs to see—especially a hormonal mom who is likely putting immense pressure on herself already. So mama, take it from us: You’re allowed to look at your phone. Because you’re human. Related Stories Life It’s science: Wanting to ‘eat’ your baby makes you a better parent Pregnancy 5 dangers of pregnancy dehydration It's Science 5 evidence-backed ways to prevent perineal tears during birth The latest News U.S. Surgeon General says 4 in 10 parents are ‘so stressed they cannot function’ Women's Health Normalizing maternal exhaustion hid my real problem: Chronic illness News American Academy of Pediatrics releases updated guidance ahead of flu season Health & Wellness Shopping Guide Here’s how I’m preparing for my kids’ sick days this year