40 Halloween jokes that are a ghoulishly good time
Because Halloween doesn't have to be just scary, it can be funny too!

Nothing activates kids' funny bones more than a holiday, especially a holiday that gets them all hopped up on sugar! What better way to enjoy Halloween (and the entire month of October, really) than with a bunch of spooktacular Halloween jokes? And, let's be honest, even grown-ups can have a chuckle over Halloween puns and kids' jokes.
Related: 100+ funny mom jokes
Who knew witches, vampires, ghosts, and goblins could bring on the LOLs? In that vein, if your little one has a little anxiety over a holiday that typically revolves around everything scary and creepy, telling jokes can help alleviate their fears a bit and give them a way to distract themselves from getting too freaked out.
So, in between the fun Halloween activities like spooky dinners or brainstorming family costumes, take out this list of jokes for a good laugh.
Read on for adorable kids Halloween jokes and Halloween puns sure to make you laugh:
- Q. Why do witches wear name tags?
A. So they will know which witch is which. - Q. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
A. Broom-mates - Q. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A. On blood vessels - Q. What is a little witch's favorite subject in school?
A. Spell-ing - Q. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A. On blood vessels - Q. Why did the witch give up fortune-telling?
A. Because there was no future in it. - Q. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A. They have no body to love - Q. Know why skeletons are so calm?
A. Because nothing gets under their skin. - Q. What did the witch serve her friends who dropped in at dinner time?
A. Potluck - Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A. Mali-boo. - Q. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A. A coffin. - Q. What do you call a witch's garage?
A. A broom closet. - Q. Why don't mummies take time off?
A. They're afraid to unwind. - Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A. Because he had bat breath. - Q. What is the difference between a witch and the letters "M, A, K, E, S?"
A. One makes spells and the other spells "makes." - Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend! - Q. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A. It's a pain in the neck. - Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
A. His heart wasn't in it. - Q. What kind of monster loves to disco?
A.The boogieman. - Q. Why didn't the scarecrow eat dinner?
A. He was already stuffed. - Q. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A. Because you can see right through them! - Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away the "w." - Q. How does a witch tell time?
A. She looks at her witch-watch. - Q. How do vampires start their letters?
A. "Tomb it may concern…" - Q. Why didn't the zombie go to school?
A. He felt rotten! - Q. Which fruit is a vampire's favorite?
A. Neck-tarine! - Q. How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
A. You use a pumpkin patch! - Q. Why is a witch's face like a million dollars?
A. It's green and wrinkly. - Q. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
A. Because there are so many plots there! - Q. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A. Vanishing Cream! - Q. What do witches use on their hair?
A. Scare spray. - Q. How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern?
A. With a pumpkin patch! - Q. What's a mummy's favorite type of music?
A. Wrap. - What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
A. Spooktacles. - Q. What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
A. Trick or trout. - What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A. A fence. - Fangs for the memories.
- Q. What's a math teacher's favorite Halloween treat?
A. Pumpkin pi. - It's a brew-tiful day for eating tons of candy.
- Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!
A version of this post was published October 5, 2021. It has been updated.