40 Halloween jokes that are a ghoulishly good time
Because Halloween doesn't have to be just scary, it can be funny too!
Nothing activates kids’ funny bones more than a holiday, especially a holiday that gets them all hopped up on sugar! What better way to enjoy Halloween (and the entire month of October, really) than with a bunch of spooktacular Halloween jokes? And, let’s be honest, even grown-ups can have a chuckle over Halloween puns and kids’ jokes.
Related: 100+ funny mom jokes
Who knew witches, vampires, ghosts, and goblins could bring on the LOLs? In that vein, if your little one has a little anxiety over a holiday that typically revolves around everything scary and creepy, telling jokes can help alleviate their fears a bit and give them a way to distract themselves from getting too freaked out.
So, in between the fun Halloween activities like spooky dinners or brainstorming family costumes, take out this list of jokes for a good laugh.
Read on for adorable kids Halloween jokes and Halloween puns sure to make you laugh:
Q. Why do witches wear name tags?
A. So they will know which witch is which.
Q. What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?
A. Broom-mates
Q. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A. On blood vessels
Q. What is a little witch’s favorite subject in school?
A. Spell-ing
Q. How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A. On blood vessels
Q. Why did the witch give up fortune-telling?
A. Because there was no future in it.
Q. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A. They have no body to love
Q. Know why skeletons are so calm?
A. Because nothing gets under their skin.
Q. What did the witch serve her friends who dropped in at dinner time?
A. Potluck
Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A. Mali-boo.
Q. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A. A coffin.
Q. What do you call a witch’s garage?
A. A broom closet.
Q. Why don’t mummies take time off?
A. They’re afraid to unwind.
Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A. Because he had bat breath.
Q. What is the difference between a witch and the letters “M, A, K, E, S?”
A. One makes spells and the other spells “makes.”
Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A. It’s a pain in the neck.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A. His heart wasn’t in it.
Q. What kind of monster loves to disco?
A.The boogieman.
Q. Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner?
A. He was already stuffed.
Q. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A. Because you can see right through them!
Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away the “w.”
Q. How does a witch tell time?
A. She looks at her witch-watch.
Q. How do vampires start their letters?
A. “Tomb it may concern…”
Q. Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
A. He felt rotten!
Q. Which fruit is a vampire’s favorite?
A. Neck-tarine!
Q. How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
A. You use a pumpkin patch!
Q. Why is a witch’s face like a million dollars?
A. It’s green and wrinkly.
Q. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
A. Because there are so many plots there!
Q. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?
A. Vanishing Cream!
Q. What do witches use on their hair?
A. Scare spray.
Q. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?
A. With a pumpkin patch!
Q. What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music?
A. Wrap.
What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
A. Spooktacles.
Q. What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
A. Trick or trout.
What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A. A fence.
Q. What’s a math teacher’s favorite Halloween treat?
A. Pumpkin pi.
Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!
A version of this post was published October 5, 2021. It has been updated.
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