You spent all month thinking about it and made it through the dreaded two-week wait… but instead of getting a positive pregnancy test, you got your period. We know how disappointed you must feel.

Here are a few things we hope you keep in mind…

You are not alone.

Women have a 10 to 25% chance of getting pregnant each month, depending on their age. While that stat doesn’t make it easier on a personal level, not getting pregnant right away doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.

The odds are in your favor.

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As many as 85% of women will become pregnant within their first year of trying (65% by six months). If you keep trying, you have a very good chance of becoming pregnant within a year.

Be gentle with yourself.

Treat yourself to some relaxation time, a night out, or a glass of wine while you watch When Harry Met Sally (for the 438th time). Or cuddle a pile of kittens (if you can arrange this, we’re jealous). Try not to focus too much on what didn’t happen, and instead be mindful of the here and now, and excited about the future.

Make sure you’re “doing it” right.

Timing intercourse based on ovulation will increase your chances of getting pregnant. Check out our guide to conception and learn the science of baby-making.

Know when to get help.

At some point on this journey, you may need to call in the reinforcements (i.e. fertility specialists). If you are younger than 35 and have been trying to conceive for a year, or older than 35 and have been trying for six months, go ahead and make the call. They can evaluate you and your partner to see whether fertility treatment may be right for you.

Nurture your relationship.

Trying to conceive can be stressful on a couple. Talk openly and make time for each other to keep your relationship strong.

Find your village.

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If you want to, try opening up about your experience with your friends. You may be surprised to learn how many other people are going through the same thing, and you’ll find comfort connecting with someone else who gets it.