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My 8 steps to becoming a better mama in the New Year

Every year I choose a theme for my growth and development to work on. In 2018, I wanted to be more present, and for the most part, I've really improved at it. As every parent does though, I've reflected on some of my not so good habits and often thought I could do better. And of course, I've blamed myself for some of the issues my kids struggle with, too.

In 2019, my goal is to improve my parenting. I want to be a safe harbor for my daughters, a resource, a beacon in the storms of life. I know there are certain areas I want to work on that'll give me more confidence as a mama, to ensure that I'm doing everything I can to be that safe space for them. I want to raise good kids—that's my main goal in life.

So I'm always going to continue to try harder, to give them my best. In the end—it's not perfection I'm aiming for, but improvement. Here's what I'll be working on in 2019:

1. Sleep better and more.

I'm not sure I've slept well since I became a parent nine years ago. No parent sleeps when they have a newborn and the nighttime battles with any toddler are enough to break you. Luckily (for all of us), I've found solutions for those battles.

But what about adults? Sleep is critical to our health too. It affects memory, focus and even cardiovascular health. I have bedtime routines for my kids, but did you know that bedtime routines are suggested for adults as well? In 2018, I'm going to make sleep a priority for our whole family. I'm a much better parent when I'm more rested.

2. Yell less.

I must admit, I'm a yeller. Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, says that when a parent yells, "The kid releases biochemicals that say fight, flight, or freeze. They may hit you. They may run away. Or they freeze and look like a deer in headlights. None of those are good for brain formation."

Everything I've read says this pattern of behavior can set us both up for a lifetime of yelling matches, especially when my children enter their teenage years. I want to break the cycle now.

I'm going to begin each day with a goal to have a yell-free day and keep track on paper when I do yell—awareness is everything.

3. Creatively resolve boredom.

Isn't this why Pinterest was created? I grew up before iPads, and I remember when video games were invented (hello Atari), so I truly believe that kids don't need them. I'm sure I drove my mom crazy in the winter, but it seems I always had something to do.

I know a lot of moms who don't put up with "I'm bored," and most of them are more creative than I am. I like the idea of creating a jar full of activities for kids to pick from when they are bored, and there are a host of online listicles with great ideas and resources as well. Really, no kid should ever be bored.

4. Model less screen time for all.

Technology really affects my kids' behavior, and there are a lot of reasons why I prefer as little of it as possible in our lives. Studies report that too much tech use can result in obesity or social isolation, and it may even hamper a child's normal development.

Last year, I stopped allowing any screen time during the school week. But the problem with that was that I wasn't modeling good behavior myself. This year, I am going to keep better tabs of my screen use by powering off my phone when I get home from work or keeping it in my purse on silent mode.

5. Increase positive reinforcement.

Many parenting experts, like positive parenting expert Rebecca Eanes, say that positive is the way to go when it comes to parenting—especially when a child is learning something new, like an expectation for proper behavior. We are our children's encouragers, as Eanes says, and it's our job to see their light and protect it's glow.

There are all kinds of ideas out there for age-specific reward systems, I've found that making a conscious effort to point out when my kids are doing something right—by praising the process, not necessarily the person—goes a long way in encouraging good behavior.

6. Eat less sweets.

It seems sometimes that the calendar is against my goal to eat healthier as a family. From Valentine's Day to Easter, Halloween and Christmas—sometimes it seems as if there is a conspiracy to give my kids more and more treats to celebrate something. I feel like I'm always throwing out candy (shh don't tell!) from one season or another.

I've already cut dessert down to every other night. Next year, I'm going to be reducing our portions. I've realized that my kids just need a little something sweet—it really doesn't need to be much to satisfy them.

7. Teach my kids about volunteering.

I want to volunteer more as a family. It is so important for me that my children realize how fortunate they are. I specifically want to work with my girls on understanding the importance of respecting their elders, so we will be volunteering once a month at a local assisted living facility, playing games with the residents and listening to their stories.

8. Have more date nights with everyone.

One-on-one time is so important for the relationships you have with anyone—especially your children. In fact, the experts at Hand In Hand Parenting say, "This kind of undisrupted one-on-one time builds in regular close contact between a parent and child. When special time is established, there is space and time for intimacy. Over time, their trust and communication grows. If there is something troubling a child, they may show it through what they say or choose to play."

Since we became a family of four, it is rare that I have one-on-one time with either of my children. So my youngest has become my grocery store buddy every week and I get ice cream for 20 minutes with my oldest after her piano lessons. In 2018, I want to make sure my husband does the same.

And obviously, it's important for my husband and I to get alone time with each other, too. So my goal is to start going on regularly scheduled date nights one or two times a month.


If I am successful at even a couple of these resolutions this year, I'll be happy. Working towards any or all of them will help my family (and me) to become healthier and happier.

Cheers to a new year of parenting for all of us. And thank goodness for clean slates!

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Mom life demands efficiency. Because while the amount of hours in the day are the same as before kids, now a sizable chunk of that time is spent caring for and loving on those little people. Compromises happen—and let's just be honest, the old beauty routine is one of the first things to get cut.

But, wait! You don't have to sacrifice putting on mascara or, worse, skipping the SPF. Instead, why not flip it, reverse it, and look at the bright side? Here's your opportunity to streamline your morning makeup routine. With some savvy skin care and beauty hacks, you can get your radiant glow on in record time.

Here are our tried-and-true hacks passed down from Motherly mamas:

1. Embrace multipurpose items

If the most pressing issue is limited time, consolidate multiple steps of your beauty routine with a multipurpose item. For example, instead of starting with a SPF moisturizer, followed by spot concealer and a blendable foundation, you can take care of all of that in one go with one of our favorites: Earth Mama's 3-in-one Lady Face™ Tinted Mineral Sunscreen. The beauty stick also allows you to easily fold SPF 40 into your routine, because Lady Face doubles as super-safe, clean sun protection. Even better? The sunscreen blocks blue light from those ever-present digital screens with a ray-scattering, non-nano formula.

2. Revive dried mascara

Especially after a sleepless night (#motherhood), mascara can make a major difference in how well rested you appear to be. If you realize your tube of mascara is dried out, don't write it off as a lost cause. Simply soak the sealed tube in warm water to loosen up the mascara — or add a drop of a multi-purpose saline solution into the tube. That should do the trick until you have time to buy a replacement. (But let's face it: You're a mom. It's okay if you're tired.)

3. Keep coconut oil handy

Coconut oil isn't just for the kitchen. From a DIY hair mask to an in-a-pinch lip balm or naturally removing makeup at the end of the day, coconut oil's cosmetic hack-list is long. For summer, we especially like adding a thin swipe of organic extra virgin coconut oil to the cheekbones at the end of the makeup routine for a bit of an extra glow.

4. Multitask while deep conditioning

If your hair needs a bit of TLC, consider applying a natural, paraben-free deep conditioner before doing chores around the house or even a short workout. By working up a bit of a sweat, the conditioner will set even better before you rinse off in the shower.

5. Start your hair care routine the night before

As you work to find your new normal morning routine, it can help to simply reschedule a task or two—like hair. If you shower the night before, get a jumpstart on your look by blowdrying, straightening or even braiding it for loose waves in the morning.

6. Even out your skin tone

Between multiple wake-ups during the night and wavering hormones, complexion issues can become a thing for most mamas. Thankfully, the hack for managing that is as simple as finding a great foundation that goes on smoothly and doesn't cake or crack through a morning of momming. Scope out the ingredient list for naturally nourishing components like coconut oil, shea butter or beeswax — and skip the stress (and the return process if the shade doesn't match) by going for something that easily blends with most skin tones.

7. Find brands your feel great about

As a mom, you might find yourself considering bigger life questions: Are my cosmetics safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding? Are they helping the world my children will grow up in? Can I trust the ingredients and mission? Pro tip: read the ingredients on all your personal care products, memorize the ones you want to avoid, and look for third-party certification to ensure the product is actually what it says it is. When you find a brand that walks the talk, you're going to want to be loyal.

8. When in doubt, go for a bold lip

With happy hours swapped for play dates, your daily routine may look a bit different than it used to. But who says you have to leave your personal style behind? If you've always been a fan of makeup and going a bit glam, keep going for it, mama! The extra 60 seconds it takes to apply lipstick or whatever else gives you a bit of pep in your step is well worth it.


This article was sponsored by Earth Mama Organics. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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One of our main goals as mothers is to encourage our children to learn, grow and play. They start out as our tiny, adorable babies who need us for everything, and somehow, before you know it, they grow into toddlers with ideas and opinions and desires of their own.

You may be hearing a lot more of "I do it!" or maybe they're pushing your hand away as a signal to let you know, I don't need your help, Mama. That's okay. They're just telling you they're ready for more independence. They want to be in charge of their bodies, and any little bit of control their lives and abilities allow.

So, instead of challenging your toddler's desire for autonomy, we found five of our favorite products to help encourage independence—and eliminate frustration in the process.

EKOBO Bamboo 4-piece kid set

EKOBO bamboo 4-piece kid set

This colorful set includes a plate, cup, bowl and spoon and is just right for your child's meal experience. Keep them in an easy-to-reach cabinet so they'll feel encouraged (and excited!) to get their own place setting each time they eat.

$25

Puj PhillUp hangable kids cups

Puj PhillUp hangable kids cups

Before you know it, your little one will be asking (okay, maybe demanding) to fill their own water cups. This amazing 4-pack of cups attaches directly to the fridge (or any glass, metal, tile or fiberglass surface) making it easier for your child to grab a cup themselves. Just be sure a water pitcher or dispenser is nearby, and—boom!—one task off your plate.

$29

Wise Elk puzzle tower blocks

Wise Elk puzzle tower blocks

These beautiful blocks, made from sustainably-sourced wood and water-based, non-toxic, lead-free paint, will keep your little one focused on their creation while they're also busy working on their fine-motor skills. The puzzle design will encourage patience as your kiddo creates their own building, fitting one block in after the next.

$18

Lorena Canals basket

Lorena Canals Basket

This *gorgeous* braided cotton basket is the perfect, accessible home for their blocks (and whatever else you want to hide away!) so your kiddo can grab them (and clean them up) whenever their heart desires.

$29

BABYBJÖRN step stool

BABYBJ\u00d6RN Step Stool

Your kiddo might be ready to take on the world, but they might need an extra boost to do so—cue, a step stool! An easy-to-move lightweight stool is the must-have confidence-boosting tool you need in your home so your growing tot can reach, well... the world.

$20

We independently select and share the products we love—and may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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