One day soon, you’ll know exactly what you’re doing, mama

People tend to say a lot of unhelpful things when you tell them you’re pregnant.

“Say goodbye to your life!”

“You’ll never get your body back.”

“Things will never be the same again.”

In some ways, it’s true. Things will never be the SAME. But, honestly, things are never really the SAME. So why call it out?

The first few weeks (okay, okay, months…years?) of your baby’s life, it’s easy to get caught up in the changes. Nothing, from your free time to your bed to your boobs, is your own anymore.

But, mama? This too will pass.

The day will come when you don’t have to plan your life around naptime.

When you don’t have to plan your outfit around nursing.

When you don’t have to plan your night out around your sitter’ schedule.

Right now, you’re still learning how to be a mom. You’re slowly carving out a new path, and you can probably only see a few feet ahead of you at a time.

But the day is coming when you will get your groove back, mama—sooner than you think.

One day very soon…you will be able to wake up, put on a cute outfit, and do your hair and makeup with minimal stress. Seriously, spit-up on your shirt is only going to be a regular accessory for a few months. And soon, your child really will play nicely with her toys for long enough for you to get ready like a real adult.

One day very soon…you will both operate in a (mostly) consistent schedule that leaves you both feeling confident and refreshed.

The secret? You’ll carve out that path together—you’ll know when he needs to nap, how long you need to leave the house, and just how much you can add to your to-do list without driving yourself bonkers. Before you know it, things will be running—dare I say it?—smoothly.

One day very soon…you will realize you’ve become one of those moms who just magically seems to know what everyone needs. You’ll catch the sippy cup before it hits the ground, almost always remember the spare outfit, and develop that super mom power of having eyes in the back of your head.

I can’t promise you you’ll never make a mistake, but by then, you’ll have realized that everyone does, and it won’t throw you off your game the way it does in the beginning.

One day very soon…you’ll be able to take a few hours (or even days!) to yourself. You’ll feel comfortable hiring a sitter for date night. You’ll schedule a girls’ weekend and leave your husband in charge for a few days. Heck, you’ll post something on Instagram besides your baby. (It won’t get as many likes as the baby posts, but, hey, that’s your own fault for making such a cute baby.) Your world will always revolve around your family, but your time will sometimes, on a regular basis, be your own.

One day very soon…you will feel sexy again. I mean, hopefully you never lost that feeling, but in my experience, it’s hard to feel very attractive when your boobs are leaking, your stomach still feels wobbly, and you can’t honestly remember the last time you shaved your legs.

Slowly, though, I started to let myself appreciate the work my amazing body had done—with or without those perfect abs of my dreams. I realized that my husband looked at me like I was a super model, not just when I found a few seconds to throw on some makeup, but when he caught me in super mom mode, caring for our family and keeping us all together.

Truth is, you never lost your sexy, mama. And soon you will see that too.

You’ll get it all, mama. Because you’ve got this.