Two of my favorite humans stand less than three feet tall. They can push me to my limits and test my patience but then in another second they melt my heart with a sloppy open-mouthed kiss or the sweetest "Mama, I wuv you!" you've ever heard.
They are my boys. They are my heart.
When I found out we were having not one but two boys, my heart nearly exploded! Being a boy mom is a badge I wear proudly. For me, I feel like it's a calling.
My heart may never know what it means to mother a girl. To buy tiny hair bows or frilly dresses. To have a forever companion for the occasional chick flick or pedicure. But it will know the love and fierce loyalty that I get from my two little guys.
My heart swells every time I think about the responsibility that comes with raising a son. It's both tremendous and terrifying. Raising sons means creating men of the future. Men with integrity and heart.
It means allowing for failure and then emotion. It means modeling strong and healthy relationships.
It means encouraging your heart, nurturing your intellect. It means embracing the jumping, throwing and wrestling.
It means trying new things and stepping out of my own comfort zone as I try to relate and stay relevant in their lives. It means being a positive role model and a good person.
Above all, it means showing them complete and unconditional love.
Being a boy mama isn't for the faint of heart. Scratch that. Being a mother isn't for the faint of heart.
There are days. Goodness, are there days. You know the ones. Days of worry and angst and sheer frustration. Days that I can't stand all the loud noise but know in the back of my mind that it's only for a short time. The days, the years, the moments—they're all short.
When I look at them I see all my happiness.. I see boys that will make their mama proud beyond measure. Boys that already have. When I look at them I see sassy mini-me's, more in demeanor and attitude than in looks. When I look at them I see their daddy. And that makes me so happy.
Someday my sons will grow up and move on. They'll move out and I may feel like I've lost my purpose. I'll have to figure out this new way to be their mommy; a new way to be in their lives. But I'll always be there. They will know that through my actions, thoughts and words. Through my love. My unconditional, never-ending, always there, love.
Until that time comes, I want to teach them so many things. I want to teach them about women and flowers and how to be gentle. I want to teach them resiliency and model it just the same. I want to teach them how to cook and do laundry. I want them to learn how to compete without having to compare. I want them to see people for who they are on the inside. I want to teach them how to build others up. I'll be my sons' biggest fan. For all of time. For all the things.
For now, I plan to hold my boys for as long as they'll let me. They are my babies and forever will be.