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A letter to my daughter, when someone breaks your heart

I can’t wait to watch you fly. Your heart will break, your wings will need fixing but I’ll be there for all of it.

A letter to my daughter, when someone breaks your heart

My sweet, darling daughter,

Writing this letter to you makes my heart hurt. Right now, you are the embodiment of pure and simple joy. Everything makes you giggle. You flit around on your tippy toes half convinced that you actually are a fairy. Life is beautiful and carefree, and you, my lovely girl, are basking in the sunshine of it all.


But you’re growing up. I looked in the rear view mirror today and saw your sweet face, lost in thought and staring out the window, and it hit me—she’s not just my daughter, she’s a woman in the making.

Suddenly, perhaps more strongly than I ever have, I saw myself in you.

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That makes me proud and honored, but also scared. Because it means that one day your world will revolve around more than me and “astronaut princesses.” One day your world will be expansive and complicated and hard, filled with things and people that I can’t protect you from.

So I want you to take this letter and tuck it away for a bad day.

Because one day, someone is going to break your heart.

And it’s going to be awful.

I know it’s hard to imagine this, but your boring parents were young and (moderately) cool once. I rocked leather pants. I stayed out super late. Once Dad even got into a bar-fight over me (in hindsight that probably had to do with the whole leather-pants-out-super-late situation).

Before you were ever a reality, I fell in love with a guy, who turned out to be your dad.

But before all that, before I met the man who wouldn’t break my heart, I was there—where you are. And it was awful.

I won’t go into the details because, now, finally, they aren’t important anymore. Just know that I remember.

Your heart is aching. Your limbs feel weak. That glowing smile that you wake up with every morning now, is lost.

You feel alone.

And when you do, please, please call me.

I won’t judge you. Ever.

I won’t say, “You’re better off with out them,” because I know it doesn’t feel that way right now.

I won’t say, “I told you so.” Because goodness knows I’ve ignored my share of advice.

I want nothing more than for you to be happy, but I am not scared of your sorrow. If you want me to hold you and rock you like I do now when you’re sad, I will. If you want me to sleep next to you like I do now when you’re sick, I will.

I will come to you in your sorrow, and just be. I’m your mom. That’s what I am on this earth to do.

When you were three-years-old, you stood on our front steps and asked me to make the rain stop. I couldn’t do it then, and I can’t do it now. But I can promise you that it will stop.

You will find the right person. But before you do, you will find yourself.

Because something happens when you’re thrust into the depths of sorrow. You learn who you really are. And you, my darling girl, are fire.

When it happened to me, I hobbled around with broken wings for a bit, and then I met your dad. But you need to know that your dad didn’t save me.

I saved me.

And even though I will be there for you, you are the one who is going to save yourself, not me.

When you’re ready, you’ll find whatever duct tape and glue and twisty ties you have in your tiny fifth-floor walk-up apartment, and you’ll start repairing your wings.

They won’t work right at first. They’ll be a little mangled. You won’t quite recognize them. But they’ll be yours. And YOUR wings are fierce.

Yes, you’re growing by leaps and bounds, but there are parts of you that will always be the same.

The passion that you throw into every twirl.

The power that you put into every song you belt out.

The heart that you put into saving every half-dead worm on our driveway.

The life that sparkles behind your eyes and lights up everything you touch.

It’s all still there.

And when you’re forced to rebuild your wings with all that—with every amazing thing that makes you YOU—well, I’m not sure the world has ever seen anything so beautiful.

So you see, as much as I long to keep you small and safe and here, I can’t wait to watch you fly. Your heart will break, your wings will need fixing but I’ll be there for all of it.

But know that you already have everything you need to soar.

Love,

Mom

By its very nature, motherhood requires some lifestyle adjustments: Instead of staying up late with friends, you get up early for snuggles with your baby. Instead of spontaneous date nights with your honey, you take afternoon family strolls with your little love. Instead of running out of the house with just your keys and phone, you only leave with a fully loaded diaper bag.

For breastfeeding or pumping mamas, there is an additional layer of consideration around when, how and how much your baby will eat. Thankfully, when it comes to effective solutions for nursing or bottle-feeding your baby, Dr. Brown's puts the considerations of mamas and their babies first with products that help with every step of the process—from comfortably adjusting to nursing your newborn to introducing a bottle to efficiently pumping.

With countless hours spent breastfeeding, pumping and bottle-feeding, the editors at Motherly know the secret to success is having dependable supplies that can help you feed your baby in a way that matches lifestyle.

Here are 9 breastfeeding and pumping products to help you no matter what the day holds.

Customflow™ Double Electric Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's electric pump

For efficient, productive pumping sessions, a double electric breast pump will help you get the job done as quickly as possible. Quiet for nighttime pumping sessions and compact for bringing along to work, this double pump puts you in control with fully adjustable settings.

$159.99

Hands-Free Pumping Bra

Dr. Brown''s hands free pumping bra

Especially in the early days, feeding your baby can feel like a pretty consuming task. A hands-free pumping bra will help you reclaim some of your precious time while pumping—and all mamas will know just how valuable more time can be!

$29.99

Manual Breast Pump with SoftShape™ Silicone Shield

Dr. Brown's manual breast pump

If you live a life that sometimes takes you away from electrical outlets (that's most of us!), then you'll absolutely want a manual breast pump in your arsenal. With two pumping modes to promote efficient milk expression and a comfort-fitted shield, a manual pump is simply the most convenient pump to take along and use. Although it may not get as much glory as an electric pump, we really appreciate how quick and easy this manual pump is to use—and how liberating it is not to stress about finding a power supply.

$29.99

Nipple Shields and Sterilization Case

Dr. Brown's nipple shields

There is a bit of a learning curve to breastfeeding—for both mamas and babies. Thankfully, even if there are some physical challenges (like inverted nipples or a baby's tongue tie) or nursing doesn't click right away, silicone nipple shields can be a huge help. With a convenient carry case that can be sterilized in the microwave, you don't have to worry about germs or bacteria either. 🙌

$9.99

Silicone One-Piece Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's silicone pump

When you are feeding your baby on one breast, the other can still experience milk letdown—which means it's a golden opportunity to save some additional milk. With a silent, hands-free silicone pump, you can easily collect milk while nursing.

$14.99

Breast to Bottle Pump & Store Feeding Set

After a lifetime of nursing from the breast, introducing a bottle can be a bit of a strange experience for babies. Dr. Brown's Options+™ and slow flow bottle nipples were designed with this in mind to make the introduction to bottles smooth and pleasant for parents and babies. As a set that seamlessly works together from pumping to storing milk to bottle feeding, you don't have to stress about having everything you need to keep your baby fed and happy either.

$24.99

Washable Breast Pads

washable breast pads

Mamas' bodies are amazingly made to help breast milk flow when it's in demand—but occasionally also at other times. Especially as your supply is establishing or your breasts are fuller as the length between feeding sessions increase, it's helpful to use washable nursing pads to prevent breast milk from leaking through your bra.

$8.99

Breast Milk Storage Bags

Dr. Brown's milk storage bags

The essential for mamas who do any pumping, breast milk storage bags allow you to easily and safely seal expressed milk in the refrigerator or freezer. Dr. Brown's™ Breast Milk Storage Bags take it even further with extra thick walls that block out scents from other food items and feature an ultra secure lock to prevent leaking.

$7.99


Watch one mama's review of the new Dr. Brown's breastfeeding line here:

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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I never wanted to be a mom. It wasn't something I ever thought would happen until I fell madly in love with my husband—who knew very well he wanted children. While he was a natural at entertaining our nephews or our friends' kids, I would awkwardly try to interact with them, not really knowing what to say or do.

Our first pregnancy was a surprise, a much-wanted one but also a unicorn, "first try" kind of pregnancy. As my belly grew bigger, so did my insecurities. How do you even mom when you never saw motherhood in your future? I focused all my uncertainties on coming up with a plan for the delivery of my baby—which proved to be a terrible idea when my dreamed-of unmedicated vaginal birth turned into an emergency C-section. I couldn't even start motherhood the way I wanted, I thought. And that feeling happened again when I couldn't breastfeed and instead had to pump and bottle-feed. And once more, when all the stress from things not going my way turned into debilitating postpartum anxiety that left me not really enjoying my brand new baby.

As my baby grew, slowly so did my confidence that I could do this. When he would tumble to the ground while learning how to walk and only my hugs could calm him, I felt invincible. But on the nights he wouldn't sleep—whether because he was going through a regression, a leap, a teeth eruption or just a full moon—I would break down in tears to my husband telling him that he was a better parent than me.

Then I found out I was pregnant again, and that this time it was twins. I panicked. I really cannot do two babies at the same time. I kept repeating that to myself (and to my poor husband) at every single appointment we had because I was just terrified. He, of course, thought I could absolutely do it, and he got me through a very hard pregnancy.

When the twins were born at full term and just as big as singleton babies, I still felt inadequate, despite the monumental effort I had made to grow these healthy babies and go through a repeat C-section to make sure they were both okay. I still felt my skin crawl when they cried and thought, What if I can't calm them down? I still turned to my husband for diaper changes because I wasn't a good enough mom for twins.

My husband reminded me (and still does) that I am exactly what my babies need. That I am enough. A phrase that has now become my mantra, both in motherhood and beyond, because as my husband likes to say, I'm the queen of selling myself short on everything.

So when my babies start crying, I tell myself that I am enough to calm them down.

When my toddler has a tantrum, I remind myself that I am enough to get through to him.

When I go out with the three kids by myself and start sweating about everything that could go wrong (poop explosions times three), I remind myself that I am enough to handle it all, even with a little humor.


And then one day I found this bracelet. Initially, I thought how cheesy it'd be to wear a reminder like this on my wrist, but I bought it anyway because something about it was calling my name. I'm so glad I did because since day one I haven't stopped wearing it.

Every time I look down, there it is, shining back at me. I am enough.

I Am Enough bracelet 

SONTAKEY  I Am Enough Bracelet

May this Oath Bracelet be your reminder that you are perfect just the way you are. That you are enough for your children, you are enough for your friends & family, you are enough for everything that you do. You are enough, mama <3

$35

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