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Dear Mom: Thank you for supporting me even when I pushed you away

Thank you Mom, for being my teacher, my mentor and my best friend.

Dear Mom: Thank you for supporting me even when I pushed you away

Dear Mom,

There are a few things that I need you to know. My perspective of you has shifted. Since becoming a mother, I've been able to see you so much clearer now. I've always loved you, of course, but I've realized that there was so much of you I did not understand and some of which I took for granted.

So, I just want to say: thank you.

Thank you for modeling for me that it's okay to be imperfect.

You have shown me that while I'm a mother and I might feel like a lot is expected of me—that I'm also still human. You have taught me that I should continue to strive to be the best version of me that I can be, without feeling like I need to be perfect at everything, all the time. You have shown me that my version of perfect may change and that's okay.

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Thank you for showing me that every day is a new chance to pick myself up, try to make amends with yesterday, and aim for a better today.

Thank you for showing me it's okay to make mistakes.

And that there's always a lesson to learn from them. You have shown me the importance of owning up to my faults, whether intentional or not. I'm so grateful to you for encouraging me to be thoughtful and to reflect on myself and my actions. You have shown me that growth is just as important as success. You have taught me that embracing these lessons will allow me to come out on the other side of hardships better and stronger.



Thank you for showing me that my past does not define me and that it is up to me to make positive choices, and changes, for myself.

Thank you for showing me that it's okay to put myself first.

You've shown me that taking care of myself helps me to better take care of my kids. You have led by example modeling how investing in myself is as empowering for my children as is my support. You've taught me that healthy self-care is important. Most of all, you've shown me the importance of creating balance for myself.

I now understand that allowing space for my wellness, whether it be a bath or a new hobby, is something to be proud of.

Thank you for sharing your adversities so that I may know that I, too, can overcome.

I appreciate you trying to show me that life is not always easy but there is always hope. Thank you for sharing the message that while there may be dark times, that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. Time and time again, you have lovingly told me that I can take a break, start over, or move on from a daunting task. So long as I don't give up on myself.

Thank you for supporting me when I didn't want to be supported.

As hard as I tried to push you away when I wasn't sure who I was, you were there to remind me. Thank you for being my guide. When I lost my way and wasn't sure if life had a place for me, you were still there for me. I know I was not an easy child. Throughout my mental health difficulties, you have always been there to let me lean on you.

Now that I have children of my own, I truly understand the extent of stress and worry this must have caused you. I am sorry you watched your child struggle while you had to bear the emotional burden of it all. I can't thank you enough for staying by my side throughout some of the most challenging days of my life. Thank you for not giving up on me when I felt my most fragile and imperfect.

Thank you for showing me what unconditional love truly is.

You have shown me that love is about being genuine—by giving a piece of yourself without expecting a piece in return. That love is about being compassionate, while also setting boundaries. That love is about challenging each other to be their best selves.

You continue to show me that love is about lifting one another up but understanding that sometimes we might fall.

Thank you Mom, for being my teacher, my mentor and my best friend.

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    I never wanted to be a mom. It wasn't something I ever thought would happen until I fell madly in love with my husband—who knew very well he wanted children. While he was a natural at entertaining our nephews or our friends' kids, I would awkwardly try to interact with them, not really knowing what to say or do.

    Our first pregnancy was a surprise, a much-wanted one but also a unicorn, "first try" kind of pregnancy. As my belly grew bigger, so did my insecurities. How do you even mom when you never saw motherhood in your future? I focused all my uncertainties on coming up with a plan for the delivery of my baby—which proved to be a terrible idea when my dreamed-of unmedicated vaginal birth turned into an emergency C-section. I couldn't even start motherhood the way I wanted, I thought. And that feeling happened again when I couldn't breastfeed and instead had to pump and bottle-feed. And once more, when all the stress from things not going my way turned into debilitating postpartum anxiety that left me not really enjoying my brand new baby.

    As my baby grew, slowly so did my confidence that I could do this. When he would tumble to the ground while learning how to walk and only my hugs could calm him, I felt invincible. But on the nights he wouldn't sleep—whether because he was going through a regression, a leap, a teeth eruption or just a full moon—I would break down in tears to my husband telling him that he was a better parent than me.

    Then I found out I was pregnant again, and that this time it was twins. I panicked. I really cannot do two babies at the same time. I kept repeating that to myself (and to my poor husband) at every single appointment we had because I was just terrified. He, of course, thought I could absolutely do it, and he got me through a very hard pregnancy.

    When the twins were born at full term and just as big as singleton babies, I still felt inadequate, despite the monumental effort I had made to grow these healthy babies and go through a repeat C-section to make sure they were both okay. I still felt my skin crawl when they cried and thought, What if I can't calm them down? I still turned to my husband for diaper changes because I wasn't a good enough mom for twins.

    My husband reminded me (and still does) that I am exactly what my babies need. That I am enough. A phrase that has now become my mantra, both in motherhood and beyond, because as my husband likes to say, I'm the queen of selling myself short on everything.

    So when my babies start crying, I tell myself that I am enough to calm them down.

    When my toddler has a tantrum, I remind myself that I am enough to get through to him.

    When I go out with the three kids by myself and start sweating about everything that could go wrong (poop explosions times three), I remind myself that I am enough to handle it all, even with a little humor.


    And then one day I found this bracelet. Initially, I thought how cheesy it'd be to wear a reminder like this on my wrist, but I bought it anyway because something about it was calling my name. I'm so glad I did because since day one I haven't stopped wearing it.

    Every time I look down, there it is, shining back at me. I am enough.

    I Am Enough bracelet 

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    May this Oath Bracelet be your reminder that you are perfect just the way you are. That you are enough for your children, you are enough for your friends & family, you are enough for everything that you do. You are enough, mama <3

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    Chrissy Teigen/Instagram

    When Chrissy Teigen announced her third pregnancy earlier this year we were so happy for her and now our hearts are with her as she is going through a pain that is unimaginable for many, but one that so many other mothers know.

    Halfway through a high-risk pregnancy complicated by placenta issues, Teigen announced late Wednesday that she has suffered a pregnancy loss.

    Our deepest condolences go out to Chrissy and her husband, John Legend (who has been by her side in the hospital for several days now).

    In a social media post, Teigen explained she named this baby Jack.

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    "We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough," she wrote.

    She continued: "We never decide on our babies' names until the last possible moment after they're born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever."

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