How actress Kate Beckinsale + others are opening up to give other moms strength.
A particularly emotional message came from actress Kate Beckinsale, who admonished those who questioned Teigen's motives for sharing the details of her miscarriage – and shared that she, too, had lost a baby halfway through her pregnancy.
On Instagram, Beckinsale wrote, "I've noticed people criticizing @chrissyteigen for sharing deeply intimate photos of the loss of her baby. As if there's some protocol during soul-scouring calamity that, if not observed, emboldens people who do not know her or her family to say how she should be handling the unimaginable."
At Motherly, we know there's no right way to handle the devastation that comes with miscarriage or stillbirth. Many parents find that sharing their experience helps normalize the discussion around child loss. Others find that it helps keep the memory of their little one alive. However you choose to share your loss, know that we support you.
Teigen was halfway through her third pregnancy, which was high-risk and complicated by placenta issues, when she announced last week that they'd lost their son, Jack.
In her post, Beckinsale then shared her own pregnancy loss, one that she had never previously revealed to the media.
"Years ago, I lost a baby at 20 weeks. I had managed to keep my pregnancy quiet and I absolutely collapsed inside and no one would have known. There is grief, shame and shock so often that come with an experience like this, plus the heartbreak of your body continuing, after the loss, to act as if it had a child to nurture. Your milk comes in, with no one to feed. It can be the loneliest, most soul destroying period of time, particularly if you are not in the position of having an emotionally connected, supportive partner like Chrissy has."
She continued: "I think it's an honour to be allowed into another persons grief, especially with a subject like this which so often puts a woman into that hall of mirrors state of life continuing as if the world hasn't, for you ,come to a bloody and terrible halt. Sending so much love to the Legend family, but also so much to the women and couples who have kept it quiet and suffered. I know there are so many. Thank you @chrissyteigen for making sure it is abundantly clear how devastating this is, and how life changing it can be without support. Let's let the grieving decide what's right for them. Send support or keep quiet. This is a really hard time to bear. Blessings and hugs to all x."
The Van Helsing star also shared a handwritten message from British artists, All on the Board. "Some babies are born to be angels and given Heaven instead. They are carried inside the hearts of broken-hearted parents and their families forever; learning to fly with wings in paradise, where nothing can hurt them, instead of learning to walk on Earth," read the message, that the artistic duo originally dedicated to Teigen and Legend. "We grieve for them and what they might have been asking why we couldn't be together."
Beckinsale is not the only celebrity to share her experiences with miscarriage after Teigen and Legend announced the loss of little Jack.
Actress Gabrielle Ruiz took to Twitter to thank Teigen for her honesty and bravery in the face of such an unspeakable tragedy.
"I say this with a heavy heart. It is incredibly brave of @chrissyteigen to share her life and pregnancy story with other women this way. Women's reproductive health and it's risk needs more light and exposure of truth."
The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend star then shared her own pregnancy loss story. "When I miscarried last fall, I was blown away how many women in my circle, both in person and online, said me too. 4 in 5 women in my circle. If we talk about it, we don't feel so alone. @chrissyteigen is so brave. And you, my dear, are too."
When I miscarried last fall, I was blown away how many women in my circle, both in person and online, said me too.… https://t.co/fxZX5nrx76— Gabrielle Ruiz (@Gabrielle Ruiz)1601529558.0
Ruiz continued, "Women's reproductive health convos are so secretive. We are told having a baby is "the most joyful thing in your life." No one talks about the pain, the loss, the struggle, the courage. It's all unknown territory, therefor avoided. Sharing is so brave. Deepest condolences to this beautiful family experiencing such an incredibly painful loss. I wish you all healing and time together to mourn and love on one another. The loss is like no other. Go hug your loved ones. Goodnight w a heavy heart."
Celebrity chef Kelsey Nixon also opened up about miscarriage, sharing that she lost her son, Leo, years ago.
"Oh Chrissy...I'm so sorry to hear of your devastating loss. It's unbearable pain and feels terribly unfair," the Food Network star commented on Teigen's Instagram post. "I've also been there, losing my son Leo who was born far too early thanks to a poorly functioning placenta. It's an awful club to be part of, but from one mother who continues to grieve the loss of her son to another, I'm am so very sorry for what you've had to endure." Nixon ended her message with one of hope. "In the 5 years that have passed since losing our son, I have seen countless blessings and gifts that feel as if they came directly from him. I have no doubt that you'll witness the same from your sweet Jack's short, yet meaningful life. Sending you and your family all of the love in the world. ❤️"
Why are these women, plus so many more, taking to social media to share their experiences, their heartbreak, their miscarriage stories?
To let Chrissy and John, and every other person who will face this type of devastating loss know: you are not alone.
Miscarriage is common, even when it's not discussed or shared on social media. The March of Dimes estimates as many as 15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
So, Chrissy, Kate, Gabrielle, Kelsey, and anyone else who's gone through it – please know that in the depths of your grief, it might feel like you are alone.
We promise you, mama, you are not. We're here for you.
- Chrissy Teigen Breaks Silence After Miscarriage - Motherly ›
- Chrissy Teigen Breaks Silence After Miscarriage - Motherly ›
- Chrissy Teigen Shares Post About Baby Jack: "I Am So Full Of Regret" ›