Menu

We all discuss the impact that negative comments have on our happiness level and wellbeing. And we know all too well that those hurtful internal remarks directed towards performance, appearance and conduct slowly crack our spirit.


So why is it such a struggle to hear and accept positive feedback?

Last week, I was sitting in a cafe next to my house. Outside was a mom with her three small children. She had croissants and juice on the table, and her children were running and playing in front of the store. From where I was standing, she was so cool!

They finished their food, and all climbed in the car. She was alone. With three kids under six. And because I know her, I sent her a message that said, “You’re an awesome mom!” Her almost instant reply blew me off. “Did you see that all three were in the front seat?”

FEATURED VIDEO

She couldn’t see what I saw: an incredible mom who took her kids out of the house for a snack , who let them run free and explore their environment, and then allowed them the fun of squeezing into the front seat.

I saw her as a warrior. She saw herself as a loser.

A couple of days later, I went to the swimming pool with my kids. There was another woman, a mother of three grown children, now in her late 40s. She was wearing a bikini, and I thought she looked amazing. So I said it, “Wow, you look fantastic!”

She then proceeded to squeeze her invisible love handle and pat her belly, saying, “No, actually, I am fat, I just gained 2 pounds this holiday.” I looked. I really did. I couldn’t see it. All I saw was a woman whose body was toned.

I saw her as a beautiful woman. She saw herself as a fat one.

Everywhere we look, we see people preaching “self-acceptance” and “self-love.” But the second somebody acknowledges our courage, success or beauty, we try very hard to convince them otherwise.

So where is the birthplace of a good mom? In her own heart.


There can be thousands of people telling you ...that you are doing a good job taking care of your kids. If you don’t believe them, that is because you don’t believe it yourself. You don’t feel it.

There can be thousands of people telling you ...that you are beautiful. If you don’t believe it in your heart, it will never become true for you.

So how about doing this—look in the mirror and tell yourself:

I am a darn fine mom. I am a good mom! I AM A GOOD MOM!

I am beautiful!

I am smart!

I am creative!

I am enough!

I AM GOOD!

It has to start within the softness of your own heart, to believe it down to the depth of your soul.

There's the magazine cover photo of the new celebrity mom glowing as she looks down at the beautiful, sleeping baby in her arms—and then there's real life.

In real life, postpartum mothers are just as likely to be wearing diapers as their babies are, and bumps need months to deflate.

That's why we're so grateful for the way celebrities are ditching damaging narratives about postpartum perfection and embracing the messy authenticity of new motherhood. Thanks to these modern mamas, the rest of us are seeing our own experiences reflected in pop culture, and that lets us know we're not alone.

Keep reading Show less
News