To the new mother who desperately misses her friends

A whole new friendship circle awaits. Promise.

To the new mother who desperately misses her friends

Hey, girl.

I see you all decked out in your pajamas, spit-up spotting your shirt like moist, discolored polka dots. Your hair may be falling out in chunks (don’t worry—that’s normal!) and your great accomplishment for the day may be the fact that you got enough food for dinner.

You may be feeling lonely right now, burdened by the responsibility of keeping a small human alive. You may feel separated from the world and alone on an island. But don’t worry—we have all been there.

Motherhood feels isolating at first; your friends have their own busy lives and you are stuck at home with baskets of laundry and a screaming infant. For, as I’m sure you are learning, even the easiest babies cry. And they have needs—so many needs.


It does not leave with you ample time to chat on the phone or meet an old friend for coffee. Even if you make it out of the house, sitting next to someone who is wearing a pencil skirt and heels while you have on your husband’s old sweats and a maternity shirt can dampen a mother’s spirits.

The friends that you used to hang out with on Saturday nights are having trouble migrating themselves into this new era of your life. To be fair, they are busy, too, for during the day most of them will be at their jobs.

Their invites to have you join them at the bar or for a board game night become fewer and far between; being told, “Sorry, I can’t,” so many times eventually leaves an impression. Plus, no matter how amazing of a friend they are, there is only so much they want to hear about the weird color of your baby’s poop or how cute it is when your little one sneezes.

If you have not had a baby it is hard to understand the magnitude at which motherhood hits you.

It is like being hit by a huge wave and no matter how far from the ocean you walk, you will never feel fully dry. The water has soaked you to the bone and its sheer mass can drain both your emotional and physical being. While this weight may feel opaque at first, you will learn how to wear it well. Just give it time.

Especially in the beginning, when you are getting used to the encumbrance of motherhood, you will miss your old friends and maybe even your old self.

But you have been through this before. Each stage of life brings along with it the friends we need—and motherhood will provide you with ample opportunities to connect with other women who understand every intimate detail of what you're going through—as long as you’re open to it.

There are countless other moms who are lonely, stinky, and looking for companionship. You will notice them lurking in popular department stores, wearing their babies and looking just as desolate as you feel.

They will peer out from behind bottles of shampoo and look at you with big eyes that seem to say, “Hi. So I see you’re a mother too…”

Answer those pleas.

Do not be afraid to approach another mother be it at the playground, checkout line, or sobbing next to you in the grocery store parking lot. These new friendships that you make with other mothers will bond you for life.

These women will deeply comprehend your joy at getting your baby to sleep through the night and the frustrations of separation anxiety.

They will bring you casseroles when you have the flu and Google symptoms of your child’s illness with you. Other mamas will share with you some of the most mundane and yet incredibly intimate moments in your journey through motherhood.

Go into new these new friendships with gusto; join MeetUp groups or sign up for a “Mommy and Me” class.

It does not matter where you make friends, only that you make some. It is normal, nay necessary, to crave support and companionship. And you may be surprised, looking back, at how mama friendships will profoundly change you. They will fill vacancies you did not even know that you had and bring laughter to park swings and long afternoons.

A whole new friendship circle awaits. Promise.

By its very nature, motherhood requires some lifestyle adjustments: Instead of staying up late with friends, you get up early for snuggles with your baby. Instead of spontaneous date nights with your honey, you take afternoon family strolls with your little love. Instead of running out of the house with just your keys and phone, you only leave with a fully loaded diaper bag.

For breastfeeding or pumping mamas, there is an additional layer of consideration around when, how and how much your baby will eat. Thankfully, when it comes to effective solutions for nursing or bottle-feeding your baby, Dr. Brown's puts the considerations of mamas and their babies first with products that help with every step of the process—from comfortably adjusting to nursing your newborn to introducing a bottle to efficiently pumping.

With countless hours spent breastfeeding, pumping and bottle-feeding, the editors at Motherly know the secret to success is having dependable supplies that can help you feed your baby in a way that matches lifestyle.

Here are 9 breastfeeding and pumping products to help you no matter what the day holds.

Customflow™ Double Electric Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's electric pump

For efficient, productive pumping sessions, a double electric breast pump will help you get the job done as quickly as possible. Quiet for nighttime pumping sessions and compact for bringing along to work, this double pump puts you in control with fully adjustable settings.


Hands-Free Pumping Bra

Dr. Brown''s hands free pumping bra

Especially in the early days, feeding your baby can feel like a pretty consuming task. A hands-free pumping bra will help you reclaim some of your precious time while pumping—and all mamas will know just how valuable more time can be!


Manual Breast Pump with SoftShape™ Silicone Shield

Dr. Brown's manual breast pump

If you live a life that sometimes takes you away from electrical outlets (that's most of us!), then you'll absolutely want a manual breast pump in your arsenal. With two pumping modes to promote efficient milk expression and a comfort-fitted shield, a manual pump is simply the most convenient pump to take along and use. Although it may not get as much glory as an electric pump, we really appreciate how quick and easy this manual pump is to use—and how liberating it is not to stress about finding a power supply.


Nipple Shields and Sterilization Case

Dr. Brown's nipple shields

There is a bit of a learning curve to breastfeeding—for both mamas and babies. Thankfully, even if there are some physical challenges (like inverted nipples or a baby's tongue tie) or nursing doesn't click right away, silicone nipple shields can be a huge help. With a convenient carry case that can be sterilized in the microwave, you don't have to worry about germs or bacteria either. 🙌


Silicone One-Piece Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's silicone pump

When you are feeding your baby on one breast, the other can still experience milk letdown—which means it's a golden opportunity to save some additional milk. With a silent, hands-free silicone pump, you can easily collect milk while nursing.


Breast to Bottle Pump & Store Feeding Set

After a lifetime of nursing from the breast, introducing a bottle can be a bit of a strange experience for babies. Dr. Brown's Options+™ and slow flow bottle nipples were designed with this in mind to make the introduction to bottles smooth and pleasant for parents and babies. As a set that seamlessly works together from pumping to storing milk to bottle feeding, you don't have to stress about having everything you need to keep your baby fed and happy either.


Washable Breast Pads

washable breast pads

Mamas' bodies are amazingly made to help breast milk flow when it's in demand—but occasionally also at other times. Especially as your supply is establishing or your breasts are fuller as the length between feeding sessions increase, it's helpful to use washable nursing pads to prevent breast milk from leaking through your bra.


Breast Milk Storage Bags

Dr. Brown's milk storage bags

The essential for mamas who do any pumping, breast milk storage bags allow you to easily and safely seal expressed milk in the refrigerator or freezer. Dr. Brown's™ Breast Milk Storage Bags take it even further with extra thick walls that block out scents from other food items and feature an ultra secure lock to prevent leaking.


Watch one mama's review of the new Dr. Brown's breastfeeding line here:

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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There is rightfully a lot of emphasis on preparing for the arrival of a new baby. The clothes! The nursery furniture! The gear! But, the thing about a baby registry is, well, your kids will keep on growing. Before you know it, they'll have new needs—and you'll probably have to foot the bill for the products yourself.

Thankfully, you don't have to break the bank when shopping for toddler products. Here are our favorite high-quality, budget-friendly finds to help with everything from meal time to bath time for the toddler set.

Comforts Fruit Crisps Variety Pack

Comforts fruit snacks

If there is one thing to know about toddlers, it is this: They love snacks. Keeping a variety on hand is easy when the pack already comes that way! Plus, we sure do appreciate that freeze-dried fruit is a healthier alternative to fruit snacks.

Comforts Electrolyte Drink

Comforts electrolyte drink

Between running (or toddling!) around all day and potentially developing a pickier palate, many toddlers can use a bit of extra help with replenishing their electrolytes—especially after they've experienced a tummy bug. We suggest keeping an electrolyte drink on hand.

Comforts Training Pants

Comforts training pants

When the time comes to start potty training, it sure helps to have some training pants on hand. If they didn't make it to the potty in time, these can help them learn their body's cues.

Comforts Nite Pants

comforts nite pants

Even when your toddler gets the hang of using the toilet during the day, nighttime training typically takes several months longer than day-time training. In the meantime, nite pants will still help them feel like the growing, big kid they are.

Comforts Baby Lotion

comforts baby lotion

Running, jumping, playing in sand, splashing in water—the daily life of a toddler can definitely irritate their skin! Help put a protective barrier between their delicate skin and the things they come into contact with every day with nourishing lotion.

Another great tip? Shopping the Comforts line on to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices—and follow along on social media to see product releases and news at @comfortsforbaby.

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Errands and showers are not self-care for moms

Thinking they are is what's burning moms out.

A friend and I bump into each other at Target nearly every time we go. We don't pre-plan this; we must just be on the same paper towel use cycle or something. Really, I think there was a stretch where I saw her at Target five times in a row.

We've turned it into a bit of a running joke. "Yeah," I say sarcastically, "We needed paper towels so you know, I had to come to Target… for two hours of alone time."

She'll laugh and reply, "Oh yes, we were out of… um… paper clips. So here I am, shopping without the kids. Heaven!"

Now don't get me wrong. I adore my trips to Target (and based on the fullness of my cart when I leave, I am pretty sure Target adores my trips there, too).

But my little running joke with my friend is actually a big problem. Because why is the absence of paper towels the thing that prompts me to get a break? And why on earth is buying paper towels considered a break for moms?

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