For a relationship to be stable, there must be five positive feelings or actions between partners for every one negative feeling or action, according to researcher John Gottman. Consistently initiating positive interactions makes it more likely that your relationship will survive and even thrive amidst stress, conflict, and challenges.

The good news? One way to do this can be as simple as sending a loving text. A survey by the Pew Research Center found that 21% of cell owners in a committed relationship reported having felt closer to their spouse or partner because of exchanges they had online or via text message.

In another study, researchers found that using text messages to express affection enhances relationships and creates a stronger partner attachment (which is universally associated with relationship satisfaction and stability) for both men and women. Sending a loving text was even more strongly related to relationship satisfaction than receiving one!

Try these five types of text messages to increase the love between you and your partner:


“You’re so great at getting our pack of crazies out the door in the morning. Thanks for getting them to school on time.”

“You’re so hot. I love your smile.”

“You’re so good at your job. I’m so proud of you.”

“This new lasagna you made is ? . You’re such a great cook”

Thank you

Thanks for doing all that laundry last night. I know you were tired.”

“Thanks for holding down the fort while I’m out at my girl’s night. I love you.”

“Thanks for being so organized and signing the kids up for soccer already. You’re the best”

“Thanks for shoveling all. the. snow.”

“That birthday card you gave me made me ?. Thank you honey, it meant a lot to me.”

Fond memory

“I was thinking about our last date night. It was so much fun. Let’s plan another one soon?

“Every time I think about your joke from last night, I can’t stop laughing. You’re so hilarious, babe. ”

“Remember when we ran that 5K? Let’s do it again.”

“I borrowed my mom’s record player so we could listen to music and make out—just like freshman year all over again.

Curious question

“So here’s the question of the day—if you had to pick one state other than the one we’re in now to live for a year, where would it be?”

“If you had to choose one spot that you love the most in this city, what would it be?”

“If you had to write a magazine article right now, what would it be about?”

“What movie would you want to see that’s out right now?”

Sharing a bit of joy

“You should have heard our son reading today—you would not believe how many words he’s learning!”

“I had the best time hiking in the woods with our daughter. We even saw a deer and her face just lit up when it crossed our path.”

“The new customer signed on at work—so excited!”

“Um, the baby wouldn’t stop laughing over me peeling this banana. It was hilarious!”

It may seem simple, but a quick little text really can brighten your loved one’s day. So give it a try, and have fun!