An adoptive mother's heartfelt message on infertility and love

I didn’t make my son, but I’m in awe that I get to call him mine

Photo Credit: @as_im_waiting via Instagram

On the flip side, as an adoptive mama, I feel the sentiment of looking at my child in complete awe.

By Dani Cap Updated Mar. 31, 2025

“We made these.”

I feel like this time of year we start to see this caption as every mom begins to post their holiday family photos.

Cutest little pictures, with their beautiful children, tagging their husband with a caption similar to, ‘we made these.’

And I get it. I can only imagine the overwhelming gratitude and awe that must take over when looking at the children that you and your favorite person on the planet got to create together.

On the flip side, as an adoptive mama, I feel the sentiment of looking at my child in complete awe.

But instead of the thought, “I can’t believe we made him” filing my mind…I think to myself,

I can’t believe we DIDN’T make him…and somehow, someway, through the graciousness of our God, I still get to call him mine.”

Talk about awe.

I look at his little face, his big brown eyes, perfect nose and never ending long lashes and I’m completely taking aback that zero part of me was involved in that.

And yet, God gave me the gift of loving and raising him anyway.

I bring all this up to say two things.

1. If you’re there this holiday season, feeling the twisting of the knife with every Christmas family photo, every “we made these” caption.. I just want you to know you’re so very far from alone.

And 2. Let this be your reminder that our inability to “make/create” a child of our own, does NOT equal the inability to love one we didn’t.

DNA means very little when we recognize what our human hearts are capable of & that the love we have within it, truly knows no bounds.

This post was originally published by @as_im_waiting on Instagram and has been republished with permission from the author.

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Adoption, Infertility, Parenting