In the weeks leading up to your arrival I worried that I simply wouldn’t have enough love to share with you. I thought that your older sister had stolen my entire heart and I wasn’t sure how it could possibly grow to find space for you.
I was so wrong.
Now I realize I have all the love in the world to give you. I find myself often wishing I had more time for just us. You are my precious final baby and I want to make sure that our busy family life makes time just for you.
When I look around the house at the unmade bed, dirty dishes spilling from the sink and toys strewn across the floor I remind myself that our time together is so precious. I know that before long you will no longer be in my arms, and that eventually a time will come when I am able to regain order in this house.
So I will turn away from the piles of unfolded washing and instead, my darling girl, make today just for you.
Today I promise to cherish our quiet midnight times together. To not wish you back to sleep too soon, but to enjoy those cheeky milk smiles when your eyes find mine.
Today I promise to marvel at the tininess and complete perfection of your body, and celebrate as you reach every milestone.
Today I promise to stare into your eyes and return your beautiful smiles. To listen to you and speak words that are only for you.
Today I promise to show you the leaves, the sky and the moon and talk to you all day. To sing you sweet lullabies and invent songs that make you smile.
Today I promise to spend time lying with you on the floor reading books chosen just for you.
Today I promise to return those beautiful smiles as I protect you from your sister’s overzealous affection and moments of jealousy.
Today I promise to touch your perfect skin, blow raspberries on your round tummy and listen to your infectious giggle. I will play ‘this little piggy’ and ‘round and round the garden’ over and over with you.
Today I promise to make sure you have special time alone with Daddy. So that he can bounce and kiss and tickle you as only a daddy can.
Today I promise to plan our day around you. I will put away my phone and refuse to be distracted by technology.
Today I promise to watch you stretch out after waking from a peaceful sleep. I will count your toes and kiss your nose.
Today I promise to let go of routines and be in the moment to marvel at all that you are, my gorgeous and not forgotten second-born daughter.
When I think about your big sister morphing before my very eyes from scrunched-up newborn to fiercely independent toddler it takes my breath away. I know that time is now passing even more quickly in our busy life. And as much as I wish I could freeze time, the only thing I can do is stop worrying about the small things and be present with you.
To play with you when the washing should be hung to dry. To trample over the weeds to show you flowers or hold you in my arms as you sleep even though sometimes I feel like my arms should be getting other things done.
Our time together is a gift. You are my final baby and today is ours to share.