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Sleep like a baby: Your expert guide to 12 months of rest

Week eight


You’ve made it to the two-month mark—congratulations! Keeping a tiny human safe and healthy for 2 months is no small feat.

This week, we’re talking about how you can build a bit more predictability into your baby’s day. It’s so important to remember that very few babies are ready for a by-the-clock schedule at this point; however, you can establish a little consistency by using something called “fixed points.” To use fixed points in your baby’s day, simply establish a few key points in your daily routines and make sure they happen at about the same time each day - within the same 30 minute window. You can start by getting your baby up for the day at approximately the same time; from there, you can make sure the first morning nap is happening at the same time each day, and so on. Building in several fixed points is a gentle way to move towards consistency without jeopardizing your baby’s sleep and feeding needs.

Sleep totals for your 8 week old baby are about 14-16 hours each day, with a bit more of that sleep happening at night than during the day.

Week three

Three weeks tends to be the point at which the “newness” of parenting your newborn wears off, and you run smack into the brick wall of exhaustion.

Don’t worry—you are not alone in this. After all, a woman can only take so much fragmented sleep before she starts to fall apart! Don’t forget to ask for help, and to lean on your partner and surrounding community for help.

At this stage, your newborn is still sleeping about 14-18 total hours each day. It’s still too early to see any sort of real “schedule” emerge at this point; your baby will still be sleeping in cycles. You may, however, start to see a bit more awake time, which is great! Don’t forget to encourage tummy time each day; when placed on his or her belly, you may see your baby start to try and lift his or her head by week three.

9 months old

At this point, if your baby is not yet sleeping through the night, you may be feeling like you’re seriously going to lose your mind.

9 months is a long time to endure fragmented sleep, and even getting up just once to feed your baby at night can feel like an excruciating task by the 9-month mark!

Here’s something to keep in mind: 1 night feeding is still normal for breastfed babies at 9 months old. In fact, a small percentage of breastfed babies need to feed once per night until they’re about 12 months old. However, if your baby is still waking to feed at night, an attempt at night weaning around 9 months of age is usually a good idea. Why? Simple: by this age, some babies continue to wake and feed out of habit, and not necessarily because they need the nourishment. It’s true that some babies will naturally night wean without any nudges from mom, but others won’t. If your baby is still feeding at night, it may mean you need to offer a little night weaning help.

Signs your 9 month old may be ready to night wean include:Your baby isn’t eating as much during the day. Your baby isn’t really eating during night feedings and is treating them more as playtime or comfort time. Your baby has started solid foods and is getting plenty of daytime nourishment.

These signs together are a strong indication that you can work on night weaning your baby and encouraging sleeping through the night.

As for sleep totals: your 9 month old baby will sleep 13-14 total hours, with 11-12 of it happening at night and 2-3 hours happening during the day over 2 naps. Both of these naps should be at least an hour long. You can see a sample 9 month old sleep and feeding schedule here.

Five months old

By the time your baby is 5 months old, the worst of the 4 month sleep regression has likely passed, and you can really start to work on sleep coaching, if you haven’t already.

This is usually a great window of time during which to sleep coach: your baby isn’t as mobile as he or she will be in another few months and is still young enough that sleep associations haven’t yet become deeply-rooted habits. But remember, only sleep coach if you want to - sleep coaching is by no means a mandatory thing! If you’re happy with your child’s sleeping patterns, and if they work for your family right now, then feel empowered to keep doing what you’re doing.

One issue that typically crops up around the 5-month mark is teething. If your baby is suddenly fussy and seems in pain, and if he or she is waking too early from naps or waking more than usual at night, check for bumps and redness on the gums. Teething pain is usually short-lived, but if it’s becoming very disruptive, talk to a healthcare provider about how to alleviate the discomfort.

At 5 months old, your baby will be sleeping about 14 total hours each day: 11-12 hours at night, and 2-4 hours during the day, spread out over about 4 naps. The last nap of the day is likely more of a short catnap, which is normal at this age. Night feedings are still very normal at this age, too; many babies will still need 1-2 feedings at night. You can see a sample 5 month old sleep and feeding schedule here.


Week seven

It’s still too early for a strict schedule, but you might find that your baby has some feedings and sleep sessions that are pretty consistent. If so, that’s great! If not, don’t worry; in the next few weeks, we’ll talk about ways to build predictability into your child’s schedule.

This is also the time when some parents start seeing a predictable long(ish) stretch of sleep emerge at night. If this is happening in your home, then hallelujah…enjoy it! If it isn’t, don’t fret; you’re not alone! We’ll be sharing tips in the upcoming weeks that can help you get there.

As for sleep totals, you can continue to expect 14-17 hours total each day, although you may start seeing a bit more nighttime sleep at this point.

One year old!

Welcome to toddlerhood, parents!

That’s right—your adorable baby is now officially a toddler.

Fortunately for you, this doesn’t have much of an impact on sleep at this point; your 12 month old will still sleep about 13-14 total hours each day. You’ll most likely get 10-12 hours of sleep at night, and 2-2.5 hours during the day, in 2 naps. You can see a sample toddler sleep and feeding schedule here.

At the 12-month mark, we do tend to see a little mini-nap regression. This is nowhere near as disruptive as the 4 month sleep regression, or the 8-10 month sleep regression, but it does have an impact. The 12 month nap regression happens when your toddler suddenly seems ready to give up the afternoon nap, and transition to just 1 nap during the day. Many parents notice that for several weeks, their 12 month old babies refuse one of their naps altogether. However, bear in mind that 12 months is a bit too early for most babies to transition to 1 nap; it’s usually better to wait out this regression and stick to offering 2 naps until your baby is about 15-18 months old. At that point, you can transition to offering just one afternoon nap. If you wait out this little “nap strike,” you will probably find that in a week or so, your 12 month old goes back to taking 2 naps without a fuss.


Emily DeJeu is a writer with The Baby Sleep Site, a leading resource helping mamas—and their babies—get their rest.


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The 4-month sleep regression is real.

The 4-month mark is a big milestone, because it marks the first (and usually the most disruptive and challenging) sleep regression of your baby’s life.

At 4 months of age, your baby undergoes some major brain developments that impact her sleeping patterns.

She becomes more aware of the world around her.

And simply put, at 4 months, your baby starts sleeping less like a baby and more like an adult.

This usually means that a baby who may have been sleeping fairly well is suddenly waking up every 20 minutes during the day, and almost as frequently at night.

There is really no “fix” for this 4-month sleep regression; these changes to your baby’s sleeping patterns are permanent.

But don’t despair. You CAN reclaim your nights by simply teaching your baby how to fall asleep without the use of any sleep associations, like rocking or feeding to sleep.

That process is called sleep coaching.

Four months is generally the earliest you should work on sleep coaching, and it’s best to use gentle, gradual methods at this young age.

By no means do you have to try sleep coaching—it’s not for everyone.

But if sleep is a real problem in your home, then sleep coaching can be a nice option.

Sleep coaching includes methods like putting baby to bed drowsy but not asleep, picking up your baby for a bit when she cries and then putting her back down, sitting in a chair to provide a reassuring presence, or even allowing baby limited time to cry-it-out. There is no one size fits all method for babies and families, you need to contemplate and test what works best for you. (For more details about how to implement each of these methods, see a brief overview here.)

As for sleep totals, you can expect about 14 to 15 hours total each day: 11 to 12 hours at night and three to four hours during the day spread out over four or five short naps.

Some babies are able to sleep eight straight hours or more at night by 4 months, but the large majority aren’t; one to three night feedings are still considered very normal at this age.

Your baby may be ready for a more by-the-clock schedule at this age, but many aren’t, so be flexible.

You can see a sample 4-month-old sleep and feeding schedule here.

Week two

Holy growth spurt, Batman!

Sometime over the next two weeks, your baby will start to show signs of his or her first big growth spurt. And it. is. a. DOOZIE for many parents.

Plan to park yourself on the couch and do some Netflix binge-watching, because that baby of yours is going to be eating. A LOT. During this growth spurt, it will feel like your baby wants to feed constantly for 24-48 hours. You’ll no doubt get alarmed (because this need-to-feed drive is so new and unexpected), but rest assured that it is normal.

As for sleep - sleep is essentially the same this week as it was last week. Look for 14-18 total hours of sleep. Most babies are still very sleepy at two weeks of age, and while you would no doubt like to see more active-and-alert time from your baby, don’t worry; that is coming. For now, be sure that your baby is feeding every 2-3 hours, if not more (for breastfeeding babies; formula-fed babies may be able to go slightly longer between feeds). If your baby has regained his or her birthweight, then one longer stretch of sleep is okay, but don’t hesitate to wake your baby from an overly-long sleeping session in order to get the appropriate number of feedings in, especially if you are breastfeeding.

For sample newborn sleep and feeding routines (for both breastfed and formula-fed babies), click here.

7 months old

At the 7-month mark, you can expect your baby to sleep about 11-12 hours at night and 2-3 hours during the day, spread out over 3 naps.

These naps are likely becoming fairly predictable at this point, which means you can coordinate feedings around nap times. This is especially important because, by this stage, you have probably introduced solid food meals into your baby’s diet. For tips on how to coordinate feedings and naps, you can check out this sample 7 month old sleep and feeding schedule.

By 7 months of age, most babies are able to sleep 8 hours or more at night without feedings; however, your breastfed baby may still need 1 nighttime feeding, and this is perfectly fine. If your baby is still waking multiple times at night, however, it’s likely you have a sleep issue on your hands. If that nighttime waking is becoming problematic for your family, you may want to work on sleep coaching, if you haven’t already. Remember, it’s very normal for your child to wake between sleep cycles at night (even we adults do this), but if your baby is used to you putting him or her to sleep, via rocking or feeding or holding, then your child won’t be able to fall back to sleep without your help. That is the root cause of excessive nighttime waking, and that’s why some parents find it necessary to teach their babies how to fall asleep unassisted.

Week 10

Now that your baby is a little older, we can start to talk about ways to guide your little guy or little gal towards healthy sleep habits.

Keep in mind that 10 weeks old is early to do any “sleep training”; at this stage, we focus more on gentle techniques that can lay a foundation for healthy sleep as your child grows.

One gentle technique you can try is to lay your baby down drowsy but slightly awake for one or two naps during the day or at bedtime (not both). An eat-play-sleep cycle is helpful when you’re working on drowsy but awake: feed your baby, keep him or her up for a short playtime or tummy time, and then put your child down sleepy but still a little awake. At first, do this for just one or two naps - you don’t want your baby to get fussy and overtired. If it goes well, you can gradually do this more and more.

At 10 weeks old, your baby will still be sleeping about 14-16 hours total each day. Ideally, 9-10 of those hours will happen at night, with the remaining 5-6 hours divided up into naps throughout the day.

Week nine

By this point, you may be starting to wonder when (or possibly if!) your baby will sleep through the night. This is a natural question; with 2 months of sleep deprivation under your belt, it’s understandable that you’d want your sleep-filled nights back!

A few things to remember about this: the technical definition of “sleeping through the night” is 5 straight hours of sleep - so it’s possible that your baby already IS sleeping through the night! However, most moms define sleeping through the night as 8-12 hours of sustained sleep without feedings. If that is your goal, know that you will likely have to wait a few more months (at least) until you get to that point. At 9 weeks old, your baby will still need to feed several times during a 12-hour nighttime stretch. Hang in there, though….sleeping through the night WILL happen. We promise!

Speaking of sleep, you can expect sleep totals to stay at 14-16 total hours each day, with about 9 of those hours happening at night and the rest happening as naps throughout the day.

3 months old

Your baby is getting so big these days!

On average, your 3 month old baby will likely sleep 14-15 total hours day day: 10-11 hours at night, and 3-4 hours during the day. You may also notice that your baby’s sleep is starting to organize itself a little better; you may be getting one nice, long stretch of sleep at night, and you may find that your baby’s daytime sleep is sorting itself into a series of semi-predictable naps. If that’s happening in your home, congratulations! If it’s not, don’t worry - some babies take a bit longer to consolidate their sleep. Hang in there!

By the time your baby is 3 months old, you can (if you choose) continue your work on building healthy sleep habits by trying to lay your baby down drowsy but awake much of the time. You can also encourage longer stretches of sleep at night by offering plenty of daytime feedings. Just be careful not to keep your baby awake too much during the day; it may seem counterintuitive, but this can make your baby overly tired which will actually lead to less sleep at night, not more.

To see a sample 3 month old sleep and feeding schedule, click here.

Week 11

If you’ve been working on healthy sleep routines for your baby, then you’re going to like this week’s news! 

By the 11-week mark, you baby is ready for a more predictable bedtime and bedtime routine. The actual timing of bedtime should be flexible, but in general, it should fall somewhere between 8 and 10 p.m. Having an official bedtime is the first step in differentiating nighttime sleep and daytime sleep, which will become important as your baby grows.

Along with carving out a bedtime, you’ll want to start implementing a bedtime routine. Your routine should be relatively short (most young babies get overtired if the bedtime routine is too long), and it should consist of a few relaxing, sleepy activities, like singing a lullaby and reading a simple bedtime story. You may want to skip an evening bath as part of your routine; while some babies find baths soothing, others tend to get riled up during baths, which is counterproductive at bedtime.

At 11 weeks old, your baby will still be sleeping about 14-16 hours total each day - about 10 hours at night, and 4-6 hours during the day.

Week four

The name of the game this week is day-night confusion.

This term is just what it sounds like - newborns who struggle with day-night confusion have their days and nights reversed, and are sleeping all day and feeding all night. While some day-night reversal is understandable in the first week or two after birth, by the four week mark, it can feel downright excruciating!

Fortunately, this problem is fixable. You can start by feeding your baby regularly during the day, and feeding in a brightly-lit room. You may even want to have your child nap during the day in a sunny room. Exposing your newborn to sunlight during the day will go far to help reset your baby’s inner clock. After daytime feedings, keep your baby up for a few minutes: do a diaper change, read a book, have some tummy time, etc. Conversely, keep nighttime feedings dark and quiet, and put your baby right back to bed after you feed. Do this for a week, and you should start to see improvement.

Sleep totals at the 4-week mark should remain around 14-17 total hours each day, and at this stage, sleep continues to be more cyclical than scheduled. Ideally, once you sort out day-night confusion, sleep totals will be pretty evenly split between day and night.

8 months old

Get ready, mama - another sleep regression is on its way! You may still be feeling scarred from the 4 month regression, but don’t worry: while the 8-10 month regression is tough, it’s not permanent. Within a few weeks, all should be back to normal.

So what is the 8-10 month regression? Well, at some point between 8 months and 10 months of age, your baby will go through a significant developmental leap - his or her mobility will just explode! But while this newfound mobility is exciting, developmental leaps like this wreak havoc on sleep. You’ll likely find that your baby suddenly reverts to taking short naps and to waking more than usual at night. Separation anxiety is also a part of this sleep regression; your baby may suddenly seem super clingy and wail loudly every time you leave the room, making naps and bedtime a nightmare.

Fortunately, the worst of this regression should be over in a few weeks. While the regression is happening, do your best to offer plenty of comfort to your baby without creating any new sleep habits you’ll have to undo later.

You can expect your 8 month old to sleep about 14 total hours each day: 11-12 hours at night and 3 hours during the day, spread out over 2-3 naps. If your 8 month old takes 2 naps, each should be at least an hour long; if your baby still needs a 3rd nap, it will no doubt be a short (30 minutes or so) catnap in the later afternoon. You can see a sample 8 month old sleep and feeding schedule here.

Week six

The 6-week mark is full of good things - by now, your baby may be starting to smile and make more eye contact!

But there is also a challenge at this point: 6 weeks brings a peak of fussiness. Around 6 weeks, newborns are outgrowing their “sleepy” state and begin to perk up and notice the world. And while this is a good thing, it can also be overwhelming and can cause noticeable—and uncharacteristic—fussiness.

Even worse, this peak of fussiness can also overlap with the growth spurt that happens between 4 and 6 weeks, which can make the crying even worse. The good news is that this “peak of fussiness” is relatively short-lived, and things should return to normal within a few days to a week.

Sleep totals are 14-17 hours total for the day, with sleep still happening in eating-sleeping cycles, rather than in clearly-defined naps and night sleep.

Sleep may actually feel like it’s falling apart around the 6-week mark, due to the peak of fussiness; know that this is normal, and that once you’re over this developmental hurdle, sleep will likely improve.

Week five

It’s that time again—time to be on the lookout for another growth spurt!

At some point between about 4.5 and 6 weeks old, your newborn will have another big burst of growth, so again, be prepared to camp out in a comfy spot and feed your baby for what feels like forever. Be prepared also for an extra-sleepy baby….even if your baby was beginning to seem a bit more awake and alert before this growth spurt, he or she will probably seem extra sleepy again for a day or two.

Sleep totals are still hovering around 14-17 hours per day, with sleep happening in cycles. However, by the 5-week mark, you may begin seeing a longer stretch of sleep emerge (hopefully at night!), especially if your baby is formula-fed all or part of the time.

Having a baby is a wonderful blur of sleepless nights and smooch-filled days. We’ve got your expert guide to helping baby (and mama) get their ZZzzs during those long days and nights. You’ve got this, mama. ?

Week one

You’ve probably heard this about a million times by now, but let us say it again—congratulations on your new baby!

By now, you are likely home from the hospital and still reveling in your soft, snuggly, darling wee babe.

Your baby’s sleep, however, may be less darling. As you’ve probably begun to notice, your newborn’s sleep is nothing at all like yours. Newborn babies tend to sleep in short cycles, waking frequently to feed and then drifting off to sleep again. This is absolutely normal. In fact, your 1-week old baby needs to feed often in order to gain weight and grow properly. Remember, your newborn will ideally get back to his or her birthweight by the 1-week mark, so it’s important to feed around the clock at this stage.

At 1 week old, your baby will sleep about 14-18 hours a day, on average. At this age, sleep isn’t really divided up into “naps” during the day; instead, think of your baby’s sleep in terms of patterned cycles.

It’s normal at this age for some cycles to be short (30-45 minutes of sleep, then a feeding, then 30 minutes of sleep, etc.).

At this point, don’t worry too much about how your baby is sleeping—your goal in week one should be to get acquainted with your newborn, to figure out the basics of infant care, and (most importantly) to enjoy your precious baby!

11 months old

At 11 months old, your baby will sleep about 13-14 hours each day.

You can expect 10-12 hours of sleep at night, and 2-2.5 hours during the day, spread out over 2 naps. You may find that your baby’s appetite for solid foods is increasing these days; this is normal (most likely because your child is moving around a whole lot more these days!).

You can compensate for this increase in appetite by offering several healthy snacks throughout the day. Timing up these snacks around your child’s usual mealtimes can really help ensure that naps stay nice and long, and that your baby doesn’t wake up hungry in the middle of the night.

Learn more by checking out this sample 11 month old sleep and feeding schedule here.

6 months old

By the time your baby is 6 months old, sleep will most likely have consolidated into 3-4 distinct naps, with each nap being about 1 hour long and any 3rd or 4th nap being about 30 minutes long. By this age, the majority of your baby’s sleep should be happening at night (11-12 hours).

If your child is still struggling with short naps at this age, it’s likely you need to work on teaching your baby how to fall asleep independently, without any sleep associations like rocking or feeding. Short naps at this age usually happen when a baby wakes briefly between sleep cycles during the nap (something that is very normal and developmentally-appropriate) but then is unable to fall back to sleep without your help. If you notice your baby always wakes 20-30 minutes after falling asleep at nap time, this is likely the problem. Correcting this short nap issue can go a long way towards helping your baby naturally adopt a predictable, clock-based schedule. You can see a sample 6 month old sleep and feeding schedule here.

As for nighttime waking, keep in mind that while some babies are sleeping through the night by 6 months, others aren’t, and that’s okay. Formula-fed babies are usually sleeping 8 hours or more at night by this point, but breastfed babies may continue to need 1-2 nighttime feedings.

10 months old

Good news: if you haven’t yet worked on sleep coaching your baby, and if short naps and nighttime waking are still a problem, this is another ideal time to work on healthy sleep habits.

By now, the 8-10 month regression is likely over (thankfully!). And while you may have felt reluctant to work on sleeping habits earlier, when your baby was young, by this point, you can trust that your baby is more than ready, developmentally, to sleep through the night (possibly with 1 feeding) and take long, restorative naps. Again, by no means do you have to sleep coach; if your child’s night waking and shortened naps aren’t really a problem for you, or for your baby, then no worries - keep doing what you’re doing! But if sleep deprivation is taking a toll on your family’s health and happiness, then sleep coaching can help resolve that issue.

At 10 months old, your baby will sleep 13-14 total hours, most likely. You can expect 10-12 hours of sleep at night, and 2-2.5 hours during the day, spread out over 2 naps. You can see a sample 10 month sleep and feeding schedule here.

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If you've got a Tuo Convertible High Chair by Skip Hop, you should check to see if it is part of a newly expanded recall.

Back in January, the company recalled about 7,900 of the chairs in the U.S. (and another 2,000 in Canada) after learning the front legs on the highchair can detach from the seat.

Now the recall has been expanded to include about 32,300 chairs sold in the United States, and an additional 8,600 purchased in Canada. The chairs were also sold in Australia and Mexico.

In the first recall, the Consumer Product Safety Commission reported "Skip Hop has received 59 reports of the legs of the high chairs detaching, including eight reported injuries that resulted in a lip cut and bruises to children." Skip Hop expanded the recall to more model numbers after receiving 17 reports of the legs of the high chairs detaching, but no injuries have been reported.

The initial recall impacted grey chairs purchased between December 2016 and September 2017, but the expanded recall impacts charcoal grey models (style number 304200) and versions of the high chair in a silver and white with clouds design (style number 304201) purchased between June 2017 and December 2018.

The high chairs were sold at Target, Babies "R" Us, Buy Buy Baby, Kohls, Dillards and through Amazon and Skiphop.com between June 2017 through December 2018, and retailed for about $160.

The impacted date codes (which can be found on the back of the chair, on the "warning" sticker, are as follows:

HH5/2017, HH6/2017, HH7/2017, HH8/2017, HH9/2017, HH092717, HH030518, HH05182018, HH05312018, HH092917, HH010518

Refund process

On its website Skip Hop asks that parents take a photo of the date code on the chair, as well as a photo of the seat being cut as in the photo above (you need to write your name and the date on the chair before snapping the pic). Upload your photos into Skip Hop's product refund form and you should receive an email confirming the shipment of your e-gift card or refund within 5-7 business days, according to Skip Hop.

"We encourage consumers with affected product to immediately stop using the product," the company says in a statement.

"Consumers can find more information about this expanded recall by clicking on our website www.skiphoprecall.com, emailing our customer service team at recall@skiphop.com, or calling 888-282-4674 from Monday to Friday, 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM EST."

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The holiday season is upon us. Tis the season for joy and giving… and the perennial "I want" monster. Kids, young and older, tend to ramp up their requests for toys, treats and all manner of "stuff" this time of year. Of course, it's not surprising given the onslaught of ads, promotions and sales that they see on every screen or media outlet this season—however, as parents, the constant barrage of requests can be overwhelming.

Sure, we want our kids to have nice gifts, but we may fear in the back of our minds that we are raising kids who are too spoiled or not grateful enough.

How do we balance this desire to gift while still fostering a sense of meaning and gratitude during this season? Here are some tips.

1. Help kids focus on the abundance in their lives.

In our culture, it's easy to focus on the things we don't have. Social comparison is probably at the highest it's ever been thanks, in part, to social media posts. In past generations, comparison was maybe only with our neighbors or classmates. Now social comparison has no boundaries with pictures of friends' vacations and cars being posted on social media daily from all parts of the world. Even if our kids are not on social media, they still experience the comparison pressure.

A meaningful way to combat this pressure is the same way people have been doing it for centuries: by practicing gratitude. This old quote is as true today as ever, "Gratitude turns what we have into enough." Helping kids focus on the good things in their lives can be simple but effective in keeping the attention off of requests. Additionally, it can help us adults be intentional about our focus as well.

For young children, focusing on gratitude can be as easy as finding a joyful aspect of each day when you are sitting around the dinner table. Even on the hardest day, there is usually some little thing for which to be grateful.

If you want to get a little more creative, something like a "reverse" bucket list can be fun. Instead of making a list of all the things kids want to do (or purchase), you focus on the things you've done that have brought joy to your family. Contentment and gratitude become of the center of the conversation instead of "I want." You can also do a reverse advent calendar, where your family does one positive thing a day (donating goods to a shelter, sending Grandma a card, etc.).

2. Help them see outside themselves (and their situation).

Young children are inherently self-centered, but it's no fault of your parenting or your child, it's simply brain immaturity. Before the age of about four, their brains have limited skill in understanding the feelings and mind of another person.

That being said, as kids mature, you can help them understand the world around them and people who live in different circumstances than their own. Many of us grew up in the generation where our parents told us to clean our plates because "there are children starving out there." Perhaps well-meaning, this guilt-inducing approach to understanding poverty may not always have the results we want.

Instead, kids might respond better to having authentic interactions with fellow residents that live different experiences than their own. Perhaps there are residents in your town who really need extra support, like refugees or underemployed individuals who you can reach out to through a local charity.

Many church or community groups know of families that need "adopting" for whom you can provide gifts and food. If you are able to actually meet the family in person or at least learn their names, this can make the giving much more meaningful for kids.

Trying to authentically engage with people that are different from our typical neighbors also raises many questions and topics for conversation with kids. Serving a meal at a homeless shelter may prompt an in-depth discussion of poverty and its causes.

These conversations can be challenging for parents, but are often necessary to help kids really understand others. By opening their eyes to the needs of others, kids gain a whole new perspective on their own wants and needs.

3. Guide them through uncomfortable feelings.

Part of the pressure in the season of "I want" is dealing with kids' uncomfortable feelings when the inevitable let-down occurs. No matter how many gifts or experiences you offer, no parent can provide everything. Kids will inevitably experience disappointment in some form or fashion. It turns out, this is actually a good thing.

In coping with the small disappointments and stresses of life, kids can actually grow in empathy and emotional maturity. The key for parents is to guide them through the uncomfortable feelings instead of trying to make them disappear.

When your child feels sad or disappointed about something (not getting the gift of their choosing, for example), instead of trying to distract them with an activity, allow them to feel those uncomfortable emotions long enough to really process them.

Allowing this emotional space is what builds resilience over the long term. You can offer emotional support and listen, but try not to rush them "back to happy" too soon. Once they calm down, you might offer some insights into how those emotions relate to other kids who are struggling or disappointed. In this simple act of emotional support, you've just helped your child build emotional intelligence and empathy for others who experience disappointment. Now that's the best gift you can provide for your child!

4. Model gratitude and kindness.

As much as we want our kids to focus on gratitude and giving instead of receiving, it is often a challenge for us to not get immersed in consumerism this time of year. The culture of purchasing this time of year is overwhelming. Even if we are mostly buying gifts for others, it can be challenging not to get caught up in the "fear of missing out" feeling when it comes to finding the best deal or coolest gift.

Unfortunately, our kids might pick up on this "fear of missing out" feeling too. Once they reach school age, kids often compare wish lists or holiday outings their family has experienced. As with most things parenting-related, we really have to practice what we preach when it comes to fostering gratitude.

We can model these values by showing our appreciation to store clerks, wait staff or others who have to work during holiday times. Kids are always watching and these little acts of kindness can make a big impression.

Modeling kindness is, of course, a year-round goal but this time of year we can help our kids show gratitude in special ways to those around them. Perhaps kids can show gratitude for those they interact with like teachers, bus drivers, or grandparents by making cards or special treats. Make a list together of who you want to thank.

The holiday season doesn't have to be filled with the dread of constant requests and wish lists from the kids. By changing our attention, we can use this season as a time for emotional growth and lessons in gratitude.

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It would be so great if we could be in two places at once because as mothers, we're often trying to do that.

We want to be there for every moment and milestone, but the fact is, we can't. Sometimes we're in the other room when baby takes their first steps and sometimes we have to be at work during our kid's big ballet recital.

That's exactly what happened to Busy Tonight host Busy Philipps on Friday. Her 5-year-old, Cricket, had a ballet recital, but Busy had to work. Luckily, FaceTime came to the rescue.

"Being a working parent sometimes is unbelievably heartbreaking and hard but thank god for FaceTime (even if it's blurry),' she captioned an Instagram post showing her screenshot.

Busy is so right. It is hard to have to make choices and admit that we can't be everywhere at once. Motherly's 2018 State of Motherhood Survey found 78% of mothers surveyed have mixed feelings about combining a career and motherhood, and that "there are real tradeoffs".

Having to FaceTime into your kid's dance recital so that you can smash glass ceilings in a television genre dominated by men—yeah, that's a tradeoff.

But it is also okay.

It's okay for Busy to love her job and not be physically present for this one recital, because (if you follow her on Instagram, you know) she's present and engaged in so many other moments of Cricket's little life.

Our kids know that we are there, that we love them, and that we would be there for every moment if we could. But the reality is that (even if you are a stay at home parent) there are times when you will miss something.

Obviously, someone was at Cricket's recital, holding up their iPhone, and Cricket will know that she had people in the audience and that Busy saw her in action.

Being a working parent can be unbelievably heartbreaking, but she's making it work, and so are you, mama.

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You're living the dream—you've asked your boss if you can work from home, or you landed that flexible position, or maybe you decided to strike out on your own as a consultant. Now comes a new challenge: How do you make your home into a workplace when it's already home to your (sometimes rather loud) family?

Through clever scheduling, a few ground rules and some hard core #momhacks, mamas have figured out how to share their workspace with little ones.

If you dream of being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom, take some tips from these mothers who've made the most of flexible work options (and a whole lot of inner drive).

1. Be honest with your clients

If you're working from home, be transparent about that from the get go. That way, if a child does bust into your office or the dog starts barking while you're taking a call, you can just keep going without having to explain away the background noise.

Sarah Hamaker is a mother of four between the ages of 10 and 15, and she also works as a certified parenting coach. She says she always starts phone conversations by telling her clients that she works from home—and they may hear a child in the background. "Most people were very understanding," Hamaker explains.

The mute button on her headset helped, too. Whenever she wasn't speaking, she'd hit the mute button so the conversation appeared to be a little quieter.

2. Get a gym membership

Sometimes, a work call is just too important to risk an interruption. If you don't require everyday child care, but do need a quiet call every once in awhile a gym membership can be a lifesaver.

A gym with on-site childcare is essentially an on-call babysitter, says Traci Kantowski, communications director with Trust Transparency Center. "I regularly take advantage of gym childcare when I need to be able to focus, or have an important call because I know my kids are cared for," Kantowski says.

Bonus: You can also actually just hit the gym.

3. Designate an area of your home for work

Kantowski's children know they need to knock before entering her office, but not every family can devote an entire room to mom's workspace. If all your bedrooms are full, you can still carve out a designated area just for your work, even in small spaces. Closets can make great compact work spaces, thanks to DIY ideas and products like this closet-to-office conversion kit from the Container Store.

If your office or desk is in a high traffic part of your home, a pair of noise-cancelling earphones can help you focus while your kids play with their other parent, grandma, the babysitter or each other.

4. Get a hotspot plan

For many, the point of working from home is to spend more time at, well, home. But for many mamas, working from home is appealing because it also allows us to be away from our desks. Ballet practice, carpool duty, library time—these are all things you can make time for when you're not commuting, but you might have to squeeze in some work while chauffeuring the kids around.

Make sure your cell phone plan includes hotspot access, so you'll be able to sneak in work time from the carpool line, the pool and the indoor playspace, Kantowski says.

5. Use electronics in case of emergency

Screen time guidelines suggest parents keep video time to a minimum, but, one work-at-home mom, Julianne Robicheau says sometimes a little screen time goes a long way to helping mama get her work done. Robicheau started her skin care company, Robi Luxury Skin Care, when her child was a year old, and says that, in a pinch, Ryder and his team of pups have come to save the day.

"Of course, I don't feel like mother of the year when I do this, but sometimes, work needs to get done and I have to rely on babysitter Paw Patrol," she says

​6. Let them help

Robicheau often lets her 4-year-old help her when it comes to photoshoots and putting together shipments. "I'm raising them to just roll with it," she says, explaining that she even brings her kids to most business meetings. "I shot a marketing video with a videographer from home with both kids around," Robicheau says.

Bonus: this method teaches kids about work ethic, and there are plenty of long-term benefits for kids who see mom working.

7. Reserve special toys for key work moments

When her children outgrew napping, Stephanie Woodson, who writes sewing and craft tutorials for her web site, Swoodson Says, transitioned them to quiet time with audio books and puzzles in their room so she still had a chunk of the day to herself. "Reserving special toys or crafts for busy days is key: A sensory bin or magazine collage activity can keep them happy for a long time," she says.

8. Share childcare with other work-from-home parents

If you know of other work-at-home-parents, you can swap children with them, giving each parent a day to work while the other parent watches everyone's kids, says Swoodson, who did this many times.

9. Wake up early

Allison Carter, creator of Confetti Party Plans, wakes up an hour earlier than her children to set her daily goals, check her email and plan her social media so that when her children wake up, she gets to focus on breakfast knowing that she already accomplished something before she actually started her day.

10. It doesn't matter *where* you're working from

Sonja Thompkins is a homeschooling mother of a 5 1/2 -year-old and an online business coach for brick and mortar boutique owners. She says she uses her gym, the library, fast food restaurants or even the car to work—as long as her child is entertained, and even takes video calls. "Clients truly don't care about your perfectly curated office backdrop," she says. "I used to think they did."

11. Batch work when you can

Thompkins' husband is an army reservist and a firefighter who works in 48-hour shifts. But when he's home, he takes over so she can crank out as much work as possible. "I use a project management app to keep me focused on the tasks I need to accomplish, which is great for my productivity," she explains.

If you're just starting out as a work-at-home parent, you'll soon figure out that you'll need to adjust your expectations, your technique and your methods as your family grows.

What works for a toddler (race to the computer to get two hours of solid work time while he naps!) will change drastically when he's a preschooler (schedule a playdate and practice some hands-off parenting so you can snag a few sneaky hours).

In the end, it's all about flexibility. And isn't that what working from home is all about?

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